Since their December arrival in Vietnam, U.S. Ambassador Ted Osius and his husband have become the most prominent gay couple in the Southeast Asian country.

Osius and Clayton Bond landed with their toddler son shortly before the government abolished its ban on same-sex marriage. Now the couple, who recently adopted an infant girl, find themselves ambassadors of the nascent LGBT rights movement spreading across the country.

“A lot of young people have reached out to me on Facebook, to say: ‘We are happy to see somebody who is gay and is happy in his personal life but also has had professional success’,” Osius said in an interview. “I don’t think of it as advocating as much as supporting Vietnamese civil society in doing what it is already doing.”

Do People Need Less Sleep As They Age?

We all look forward to a good night's sleep. Sleep allows our body to rest and to restore its energy levels. Without enough restful sleep, not only can we become grumpy and irritable, but also inattentive and more prone to accidents. Like food and water, adequate sleep is essential to good health and quality of life.

There are two types of sleep: non-rapid eye movement -- or NREM sleep -- and rapid eye movement -- or REM sleep. NREM sleep includes four stages, ranging from light to deep sleep. We cycle through these four stages of sleep approximately every 90 minutes. Then we go into REM sleep, the most active stage of sleep when dreaming often occurs. During REM sleep, the eyes move back and forth beneath the eyelids and muscles become immobile.

Researchers believe that two body systems -- the sleep-wake process and our circadian biologic clock -- regulate our sleep. They program our bodies to feel sleepy at night and awake during the day.

In a bid to defend what they deem traditional values, lawmakers in Russia next week will consider the country's most aggressive anti-gay legislation in recent memory: a ban on public displays of affection among gays that could punish couples for kissing or even holding hands on the street with a fine or a two-week jail sentence.

The bill, which is slated for discussion in Russia's parliament next Friday, would be the latest salvo against "nontraditional sexual relations," which President Vladimir Putin and other senior officials have singled out as a corrupting influence on Russian morals and a symbol of the West's permissiveness.

In 2013, Russia passed a controversial law that banned "gay propaganda," public speech or demonstrations equating gay lifestyles to straight ones, saying it may influence children. The new legislation goes further, allowing a fine of up to 5,000 rubles, or $65, for the "public expression of nontraditional sexual relations, resulting in the public demonstration of one's own distorted sexual preferences in public places." If the act takes place in a school or other place where children congregate, the punishment may include 15 days in jail.

The Ontario government recently mandated that Catholic schools allow students to start Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) clubs, allegedly, to protect kids from bullying. Said the premier of Ontario, Dalton McGuinty: “There are values that transcend any one faith. … And if you talk to parents, they’ll tell you. They want their kids to be respected and accepted.”

Of course, I reject his very deliberate verbiage. The notion of respect doesn’t “transcend” the cross any more than the “religion” of secularism transcends Christianity. But on with the topic at hand: while the premier appeals to principles the Catholic Church and gay advocacy groups all agree on, like safety and respect for our kids, he conveniently leaves out the rest.

The Catholic Church and groups like GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network), which provides the support to the 4,000-plus GSA’s across North America have a radically different sexual ethic, and thus, a radically different pastoral strategy for raising teens with same-sex attraction. An honest look at those differences shows that the Canadian government is rolling a Trojan horse into Catholic schools under the guise of “anti-bullying.”

Toronto’s Cardinal, Thomas Collins expressed his concern: “Because this model is so closely related to a movement with particular views concerning the human person and the issues of life, people who disagree with those views are understandably concerned that the model can serve as a means not only to address bullying, but to promote the views with which they disagree.”

The “particular views” of the movement that don’t square with Catholicism include a rejection of the notion that homosexual activity is any less natural or normal than heterosexual activity—in other words, a rejection of Judeo-Christian- and natural-law-based thinking about sexual ethics. GLSEN labels such thinking “heterosexism.”

There is a clear push for people with same-sex attraction to identify themselves as “gay,” and thus, inherently different than everyone else. GSA’s commend kids for “coming out of the closet” and letting everyone know what their attractions are, so that their identity is further solidified.

Finally, for most (if not all) gay advocacy groups, it goes without saying that gays should be open to romantic relationships with people of the same sex, and that depriving them of that would be depriving them of love.

And while they may or may not overtly promote sexual activity, GSA’s encourage teens to talk about their sexual “identity” and attractions without any expectation that abstinence be promoted or even discussed. If we think that doesn’t send a clear message to the average teen, we’re kidding ourselves.

The Catholic approach is obviously very different. As far as “sexual identity” is concerned, Blessed Mother Teresa, who started New York’s first AIDS hospice, sums up the Church’s approach. She refused to call people “homosexual,” instead she insisted they be called “friends of Jesus.” In the words of the Ontario Conference of Catholic Bishops, “the orientation of an act is homosexual or heterosexual but the person is not.” A person simply cannot be reduced to or defined by a sexual attraction.

They spent a month traveling in Vietnam in April and May of 2015 and found it to be open-minded and gay-friendly country. We never once had problems booking double rooms and locals were never once bemused by us.

There’s an active gay scene in Saigon and in Hanoi where there has been a Pride parade since 2012. The Viet Pride 2015 is due to take place from July 31 to August 2. More up to date information about it can be found on their official website or their Facebook page.

We met a very sweet and confident local gay man Quan in Saigon, who traveled with us and gave us his perspective on gay Vietnam and coming out.

When Lin Xiaotao came out as gay to his female best friend, in 2007, she responded in the way that many caring BFFs in China would: She offered to marry him so he could keep his sexuality a secret from his parents indefinitely.

"I was in my mid-20s and she was the first person I came out to," says Lin. "She half-heartedly said we should marry. She said she'd help hide my sexuality and keep my mum from being heartbroken. But after thinking about it for a few months, I decided this wasn't the way to go."

Lin, who is from Ganzhou in Jiangxi Province and is now 28, kept his sexuality secret for another three years. He describes his mother's personality using a Chinese phrase that translates as, "Having a mouth like a knife and a heart like tofu," meaning a person who is outspoken but has a soft heart. "I had a feeling she would accept it, but I had no real clue as to the specifics of how my parents would react," he says. "When I told them, they didn't go into denial. They just sort of … acknowledged it."

June is Men’s Health Month. Across the country many organizations are celebrating and spreading awareness with screenings, health fairs and other education related to men’s health and wellness. Here are 7 things men need to know.

1. More younger men are being diagnosed with Prostate Cancer
The number of younger men diagnosed with prostate cancer has increased nearly six-fold in the last twenty years. Today, over 10 percent of new prostate cancer diagnoses in the U.S. occur in men younger than 55 years old. What’s more alarming is that for younger men, the disease is often much more aggressive. Prostate cancer typically affects men in their 60s, 70s and older, and is often slow-growing. For this reason, older men are likely to die of causes other than prostate cancer, even if they ave the disease. But when younger men are diagnosed with prostate cancer, it is likely because they have developed a tumor that is growing quickly and aggressively.

Last year a friend of mine asked me, since I’ve been chronicling the black experience in Japan, when I would get around to writing about the experience of black people in the LGBT community here. “We’re a minority of a minority of a minority,” he’d said.

I told him I was on it, but I wanted to do it right. What I meant by that was, I wanted to find the right voices from the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community — people who were fully knowledgeable, representative and well-spoken as well as outspoken. And, fortunately, in my travels, I’ve come to know two such gentlemen. Though both are situated in Tokyo, they are from different generations and their tenures here in Japan are vastly different, so I was able to get some fairly disparate perspectives.

The first, a man by the name of Darien Alexander Williams, I met for the first time quite recently. He attended a Kwanzaa event I held in Yokohama last month. He’s a 23-year-old high school teacher from North Florida and has been living in Tokyo since August 2014.

It’s no secret: the older we get, the more care our bodies need. Even if we stay active, eat healthy, and check in regularly with our doctors, no one is immune to the effects of aging. There are also health issues that disproportionately affect older gay men, such as HIV and mood disorders, that can lead to worsening health and premature aging.

Maybe we all won’t be as spry as Sir Ian McKellen at his age, but there are a few common health issues that you can discuss with your doctor to make sure you’re living healthy at any age.

Cardiovascular Health

Cardiovascular issues, including heart disease and stroke, are the leading causes of death in men worldwide. Cholesterol can gradually block arteries in the heart and brain, which can eventually form a blood clot. The onset of cardiovascular issues occurs much earlier in men than in women, so it’s important to stay vigilant.

You can reduce your risk of cardiovascular disease by getting your cholesterol checked regularly, quitting smoking, and increasing your physical activity to at least a half-hour per day. The foods you eat have a major effect on your cardiovascular health, so add more fruits and vegetables to your diet and try to cut trans fats!

"The older we get, the more care our bodies need. No one is immune to the effects of aging".

Prostate Cancer

This is another big one: one in six men will be diagnosed with some form of prostate cancer in their lifetime, and early detection is key to preventing some of the worst complications. The earlier prostate cancer is detected, the better the odds that it can be successfully treated, but it’s important to ask your doctor about treatment options.

Many older gay men have expressed concern over treatment-related sexual dysfunction. Since most information about prostate cancer comes from older straight men in long-term relationships, it’s important to discuss your sexual history and activity with your doctor.

HIV and AIDS

HIV and AIDS are still prevalent health issues for older gay men, and will most likely be ongoing concerns in the next decades: while 29 percent of people living with HIV or AIDS are currently over 50, 70 percent of the same population are over 40.

There are very few prevention programs targeting older adults, and it’s rare for physicians to discuss HIV and AIDS prevention with older patients. Luckily, the National Institutes of Health are supporting new studies of HIV and AIDS in an aging population, focusing on age-related changes in immune functions, metabolic complications, and different responses to treatments.

We are Stefan and Sebastien, gay couple travelling the world and owners of the Nomadic Boys travel blog. We spent 18 months traveling in Asia last year and absolutely loved it.

Although most Asian countries don't have the best reputation when it comes to gay rights, here are our five reasons we think traveling to Asia is fun, romantic and above all, important for supporting and inspiring local LGBT communities.

1. Asia is (very slowly) waking up to gay unions and pink ceremonies.

And we mean very slowly!

Gay marriage is still illegal everywhere on the continent. But steps towards civil unions are slowly being made, led by Japan and Taiwan who each now have 3 districts each recognising civil unions. In Taiwan, the newly elected female leader,Tsai Ing-wen, even came out in support of equal marriage rights earlier this year.

As a country's government is starting to accept and recognise gay unions, it not only sends out a positive and encouraging signal to its LGBT community, but also a symbolic nod to gay tourism.

Although the other countries in Asia are slow to catch up with marriage equality, small political moves by a few show a willingness to start to embrace the gay honeymoon market. For example, in Thailand the government started to draft the Civil Partnership Act laws in 2012, but it has since been put on hold due to political instability. And in Vietnam, the government recently legislated to accept gay marriages - ie, if you get gay married in the country, it won't be recognised as legal but they will no longer arrest or fine you.

It's baby steps, but a symbolic step in the right direction.

Not caring about what happens to gay men is like not caring about prison rape. Prisoners are our brothers, too, and so are gay men. We must care deeply about the abuse of our brothers in prison and we must care deeply about the lives led by our gay brothers.

Prison rape seems a world away from us, a subject we try not to think about, yet it is rampant, dehumanizing and deadly dangerous. In the same way, we avert our gaze from the lives led by gay men. Certainly ignoring the lives of gay men is what the paladins of the gay movement want us to do. If others peek behind the curtain of the white-picket-fence-homosexuality they have built up for public consumption, support for the movement would wither and probably die.

I do not equate sex between gay men and prison rape. I draw the parallel simply to compare how we look away from certain things and act as if the subjects of those acts are not part of us, part of society, part of the human family. The active gay man and the prisoner are our brothers and we have to be concerned with both. But we quite deliberately look away from the reality of both.

But look we must, particularly since we are being asked to consider that homosexuality is on par with heterosexuality, that same-sex marriage and opposite-sex marriage can be the same, that gay sex can in fact be spousal.
The arguments made by our best defenders of man-woman marriage focus almost exclusively on the definition of marriage and the rights of children to have both a mother and a father, and they explicitly say their arguments have nothing to do with the underlying question of homosexuality. Their arguments are very effective and I do believe they are making converts to the pressing cause of marriage. But in those arguments, one of the things lost is the real lives of gay men. It is as if we really do not care about them.

This is a difficult topic that no one wants to talk about. Brian Brown of the National Organization for Marriage tells me that these arguments are not effective during active political campaigns. These arguments can backfire in those situations. Even so, we should show greater regard for our gay brothers by paying more attention to their lives.

The decade of your 40s is the most crucial opportunity to reinvent yourself and make your body leaner, stronger, and fitter for life.

Thanks to breakthroughs in medicine, health, exercise, and nutrition, a forty something today has a chance to live longer, stronger, and leaner--to remake his body into a sleeker, fitter, stronger version of its younger self.

Exercise physiologists, nutritionists, and gerontologists now agree that during the decade of your 40s, men still have enormous potential for remaking their bodies, improving energy level and brain function, and transforming decades of bad habits into a healthier lifestyle that will prime them for smooth sailing the rest of their lives.

You believe it, too, otherwise you wouldn't be interested in taking control of your health. There could be any number of reasons why you suddenly decided that you want to get back into shape. Perhaps you signed up to coach your daughter's soccer team and quickly got winded when you took a lap with the team. Or perhaps you felt a tightness in your hamstring reaching down to tie your shoes and realized--smartly--that this was your body's first warning signal for a bit of needed change. Or maybe, like Joe Maroon, MD, you were performing brain surgery one day, and filling 18-wheel tractor-trailers and flipping hamburgers at a truck stop in Wheeling, West Virginia, the next.

"Marriage should be between a spouse and a spouse, not a gender and a gender."

1. INCREASE AMOUNT OF CHILDREN SUCCESSFULLY ADOPTED.

Most adoption agencies discriminate against gay couples and make it incredibly difficult for them to adopt children. Many agencies will only release children to "married" couples, therefore rejecting stable, loving, homosexual parents. By legalizing gay marriage in ALL states, adoption agencies will be forced to grant the same respect and right to homosexual couples. Gay marriage will increase the chances for thousands of foster children to gain loving parents and families.

2. FOSTER SOCIETAL ACCEPTANCE OF GAY COUPLES AND GAY INDIVIDUALS.

Legalizing gay marriage will help establish a social norm that includes and respects homosexual lifestyles. Couples as well as individuals in the LGBT community will seem less "different" from heterosexual lifestyle, so straight couples and individuals will be more inclined to accept homosexual couples into their communities.

Romantic comedies and Disney flicks end when the star-crossed couple finally gets together and lives “happily ever after.” But do they really? Anyone who’s been in a relationship knows that trite phrase generally lasts about six months before the doubt starts to creep in. Whether you’ve made it to six months or six years, it’s not unusual to have difficulty bringing up delicate problems with your partner—not the big dealbreakers but the uncertainties that plague every couple. To help you avoid sitting on that angst, I address the 10 most common questions that come up for gay men in relationships, including the ones you feel uncomfortable asking.

1. Now that we’re married, will things change?
Answer: Perhaps not right away, but yes.

Though most things don’t change, gay couples who get married tend to take on more traditional gender roles. That means one may end up cooking, cleaning and caring for the kids while the other may be the breadwinner. Couples who don’t legally marry tend to share those tasks more evenly.
Others’ view of you also changes. Outsiders-especially those of the heterosexual persuasion-start to put more heteronormative expectations on your relationship, especially monogamy and having kids.

2. We never fight. Is that a good thing?

Answer: Not necessarily.

The key is whether the conflict is constructive or destructive. Constructive conflict focuses on the problem at hand, seeks an agreed upon solution and each person accepts responsibility for his part; it works to strengthen the relationship. Destructive conflict picks on the other person, brings in resentments from the past and each person seeks to “win” the argument; it works to weaken the relationship.
But if you never have any conflict, your relationship may be in trouble! “Conflict-free” couples are usually avoiding issues that need to be resolved, and they usually end up drifting apart.

3. How can I stop him from doing annoying things?
Answer: You can’t. (But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.)

All partners do annoying things, from texting during dinner to leaving the cap off the lube. As long as it doesn’t threaten his or your health, or the relationship itself—like binge-drinking or PNP antics, which require a more serious approach—then you do the following:
First, tell your partner you’re annoyed by what he’s doing and ask him to change. If he does, even partially, give him support and praise for every positive step. Focus only on what he does well, not what he fails to do. If the annoying habit persists, continue your gentle persuasion but add in acceptance for yourself.

Acceptance doesn’t mean you like something; it means you’re letting go of your demand that he change it. You’ll feel less burdened as a result, and you’ll be able to focus on other things. If you do achieve acceptance, you won’t be leaving an otherwise good relationship because of a silly annoyance.

The appendix is a thin tail, tube or appendage growing out of the caecum, which is part of the large intestine located on the lower right side of the abdomen. The precise function of the appendix in the human body is something of a mystery, although it clearly plays a role in digestion for other animal species.

Appendicitis means inflammation of the appendix. Food or faecal matter can sometimes lodge in the narrow tube of the appendix, and the blockage becomes infected with bacteria. This is a medical emergency. If the appendix bursts, its infected contents will spread throughout the abdominal cavity. Infection of the lining of the abdominal cavity (peritonitis) can be life threatening without prompt treatment.

Anyone of any age can be struck by appendicitis, but it seems to be more common during childhood and adolescence. It is less common for anyone over the age of 30 years to develop appendicitis. Treatment options include surgery.

Re-examining long-held beliefs can be frightening and confusing, but it is without doubt admirable. Thinking deeply about your moral compass is an important part of leading an ethical life. If can be hard to accept something you don’t feel you understand. Fortunately, understanding LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) people is pretty simple.

1. Seeing gay men

Dismiss stereotypes. Some gay men and lesbian people fit into all the popular stereotypes, some fit into none of them, and most fit into some, but not all. Some straight people “seem gay,” and some gay people “seem straight.” There is no sure-fire way to tell someone’s sexual orientation by looking at her, listening to the way she speaks, or watching her mannerisms. The more you learn to let go of stereotypes, the easier it will be to begin seeing LGBT people as people.

Respect their humanity. This is the most important part of understanding gay and lesbian people. They are as complex and unique as anyone else, and they have dreams, goals, and passions that are much more central to their identities than the gender they are attracted to. If you feel you understand straight people, then you are well on your way to understanding gay and lesbian people as well.

Rein in your ego. Just as you are not attracted to every single member of the opposite sex, gay people are not attracted to every single member of their own sex. You might not be their type. Do not assume a gay person is attracted to you just because she shares your gender. She probably isn’t.

Interact with LGBTQIA people. Studies have shown that people with homophobic beliefs report having less personal interaction with gay and lesbian people. Having LGBT+ people in your life will make it much easier to see them as regular people like you, and not as mysterious aberrations. If this is impossible, you might try reading books or watching television shows and movies with gay characters, or watching documentaries about LGBT+ issues.

Learn from other allies. There are lots of organizations whose aim is to increase heterosexuals’ acceptance and understanding of LGBTQIA people. Look up your local PFLAG chapter, or spend some time on the websites of GLAAD or the Human Rights Campaign.

2. Realizing It’s Not a Choice

Investigate what the scientific community has to say. While some individuals may insist that sexual orientation can be changed, virtually all major mental health organizations have released statements asserting that this is not the case, and cautioning against treatments that purport to “convert” LGBT people. Some states have even banned gay “conversion therapy” in response to scientific evidence suggesting such therapy may actually be damaging or abusive.

Think about why someone would choose to be gay. 
While life has improved greatly for LGBT Americans over the last couple decades, many gay and lesbian people suffer greatly because of their sexual orientation. About 40% of homeless youth are LGBT-identified, and 68% of those reported family rejection as a major factor. LGBT youth are 4 times more likely than heterosexual youth to attempt suicide. They also experience higher levels of bullying, substance abuse, and sexual assault. There are many countries where homosexuality is illegal, or even punishable by death. Bearing all this in mind, ask yourself, “Why would these people chose to be LGBT?”

Research objective information about the “ex-gay” movement. Even among the ex-gay community, few believe complete conversion is possible. Many ex-gay organizations have shut down in recent years, and admitted that they could not “cure” gay people of their homosexuality. There is no meaningful scientific evidence that people who are not attracted to the opposite sex can be converted to heterosexuality. On the other hand, there is plenty of evidence that attempts to change a person’s sexual orientation can have a profoundly damaging impact.

Six months after he was nominated by President Obama to serve as Army secretary, Eric Fanning received approval from the U.S. Senate Armed Services Committee today, reports the Washington Blade.

With the Armed Services Committee’s favorable recommendation, that means a vote from the full Senate is the final hurdle before Fanning becomes the first out person to lead the Army or any U.S. military branch. Fanning is a civilian with 25 years of national security experience, previously working as undersecretary and acting secretary of the Air Force. 

He stepped down from his position as acting secretary of the Army in January, in what was billed “as a show of comity” with the U.S. Senate as Republicans placed his nomination on hold as a protest of Obama’s plans to close the military prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. LGBT military advocacy group Outserve-SLDN reports that the senator leading the effort to stall Fanning’s confirmation, Kansas Republican Pat Roberts, still has not signaled that he will allow Fanning’s nomination to come to a vote on the Senate floor.

“We urge the Senate to move to confirm Eric Fanning quickly,” said Outserve-SLDN executive director Matt Thorn in a statement today. “We are far past the time for a confirmation vote. Our service members are risking their lives to serve and protect our country and should be afforded the respect of having a Secretary who will advocate for them, think about their needs and serve them the way that they serve our country. "

Society is changing. There are an increasing number of countries that have adapted their laws to recognize the rights of its homosexual population. There is a multicoloured wave that is sweeping the planet and what was once inexplicably taboo is becoming openly accepted. With the legalization of same sex-marriages last year in Brazil, France, England and Wales the total number of countries where same-sex marriage is legal has risen to 17. If you include countries where it is legal in certain areas, like the U.S., where 18 states and the District of Columbia have adopted a law and in Mexico where 2 states are on board, the population that now lives in an area where same-sex marriages are legal has risen dramatically in a twelve-month span. Tony Pitman, a Melbourne based activist has compiled a list of these countries along with their population estimates. As of January 1st 2014, 700 million people live in a country where same-sex marriages are legal. The current worldwide population is approximately 7 billion; basically 10% of all individuals on the planet now live in a country where same-sex unions are legal.

2013 was a banner year for the legalization of same-sex union movement, but laws are not the only aspect to look at when wondering whether or not a country is gay friendly. There is also general societal acceptance, services and events that must be considered when attempting to rank the top gay-friendly nation. A recent Pew Research Centre survey asked citizens in 39 countries a simple question: whether or not homosexuals should be accepted in society. Although some of the traditionally gay-friendly countries were omitted from the survey, it does provide insight into general views on homosexuality by regions. Europe is by far the most accepting, while the African continent is behind in its views.

In October last year I received a flurry of giddy emails from a dear friend in New York declaring that she had fallen in love, or as her email subject heading put it, she had gone ‘BACK TO THE GYNE!’ Although this woman, let’s call her Georgia, had begun her romantic life moored to the Isle of Lesbos, she had since drifted into perilous heterosexual waters and paid a hefty toll: ten years of blasted affections with men who resembled kidney beans in cardigans.

‘I am dating a girl!’ ran her first email. ‘Her name is Lindsay and she is a magical unicorn princess. We met on Monday and it’s fair to say we’re pretty much girlfriends.’ Naturally, I was delighted for her, although the pictures of her and her belle swishing their shiny long hair and cavorting around Central Park in matching lip gloss did become mildly nauseating. I congratulated her, but also worried that maybe the announcement was a little bit hasty. This, she informed me, was very heteronormative thinking: ‘In classic lesbian form, we’ve decided to skip the hetero norm of ‘hanging out’ for a month, then ‘seeing each other’ for a few more months, and have moved straight to dating. I’ll make her my girlfriend (WIFE) by the end of the month.’

It’s still early days (although decades in lesbian years) but the relationship seems enviably good. When apart they Skype constantly (often just gazing in wonderment at each other) they greet each other with thoughtful gifts and on a deeper level they share many of the same values, humour and life experiences. There’s no gender expectations: just a heady mix of imagination and love.
Georgia is not alone in finding greater happiness with the ladies. Last week the Open University published a study of 5,000 people which found that gay and lesbian couples were likely to be happier and more positive about their relationships than heterosexuals. To be more precise, it found that childless people were happier than those with kids, but the most interesting aspect of the study was what it suggested about gay and lesbian relationships :

‘“LGBQ participants (lesbian, gay, bisexual and queer) are more generally positive about and happier with the quality of their relationship and the relationship which they have with their partner” the research concludes. “Heterosexual parents are the group least likely to be there for each other, to make ‘couple time’, to pursue shared interests, to say ‘I love you’ and to talk openly to one another.”

It’s a fascinating turn-around from only thirty years ago when psychological literature pathologised lesbians and gays as disordered and unstable. These days studies suggest that lesbians make better parents and now it seems they also make better lovers, partners and wives.

So what can straighty-one-eighties couples do to be more like gays and lesbians?

1. Share the labour of household chores and family responsibilities: 

One of the delights of gay and lesbian relationships is that they don’t come with pre-defined gender roles. Nor do the structural disadvantages that women face in the workforce find their way into power-imbalances in their relationships. In the Open University study fights over money and unequal sharing of the labour of housework and parenting rated very highly on straight peoples list of what they liked least in their relationship. This is obviously largely attributable to the fact that women are paid less than men (in fact 17.4% less than men) and so they’re probably going to be more likely to stay at home looking after the kids. For straighties, this is difficult to overcome, but maybe you could start thinking about whether money is really more important than your happiness. Spending equal-time on paid work and parenting responsibilities would surely lead to a richer home-life than a 1950s model of a male breadwinner and a resentful, bored housewife.

A. TEN SIGNS YOU MAY HAVE KIDNEY DISEASE

More than 26 million American adults are living with kidney disease and most don’t know it. “There are a number of physical signs of kidney disease, but sometimes people attribute them to other conditions. Also, those with kidney disease tend not to experience symptoms until the very late stages, when the kidneys are failing or when there are large amounts of protein in the urine. This is one of the reasons why only 10% of people with chronic kidney disease know that they have it,” says Dr. Joseph Vassalotti, Chief Medical Officer at the National Kidney Foundation.

While the only way to know for sure if you have kidney disease is to get tested, Dr. Vassalotti shares 10 possible signs you may have kidney disease. If you’re at risk for kidney disease due to high blood pressure, diabetes, a family history of kidney failure or if you’re older than age 60, it’s important to get tested annually for kidney disease. Be sure to mention any symptoms you’re experiencing to your healthcare practitioner.

If growing up as a gay kid in rural America wasn’t difficult enough, puberty brought a new, intimidating wave of issues, like the strange feelings about my male classmates, both in my head and “down there.” But, as all gay teenagers will come to know, difficult situations are learning experiences from which we can grow. My childhood, it seems, was a grand lesson in shame.

A shame that was, at the time, inexpressible. A shame that comes with feeling unsafe in your own skin, school, and home. A shame that comes with knowing everything about your formative years will be atypical from what is presented to you by your peers, mass media, and your culture. A shame that comes with being different.

I left high school with absolute certainty my horizons held something special and inviting, that when I reached college I would be immersed into some sort of expansive homosexual society that seemingly only thrived in urban environments. I felt I had been deprived of something. I felt I was incomplete.

I was almost done with my first semester when I was fully exposed to the world of Grindr, an environment I instantly detested. Suddenly, the shame I had felt in high school was manifest, and I could put all of those inky feelings into words. Plastered upon most every profile were the campaign slogans of Denver gays: “straight acting, u be 2,” “looking for gym buddy, no fems,” “if ur a faggot it won’t work,” or my personal favorite, “be a man, i’m not looking for a bitch.”

I finally understood that my shame had been birthed from the unconscious knowledge that who I was just wasn’t good enough.

I couldn’t date a straight guy, and I couldn’t pass for one; it seemed that even gay guys didn’t want to date gay guys. I had never felt more disappointed.

There have been countless voices saying similar things about the horribly discriminatory ways that gay men have been known to treat each other. There is a vicious, prejudiced cycle that traps many gay men and governs the ways in which we see each other as friends or partners, both in person and online. Many writers have already done great work by pointing out how these words can be indicative of internalized misogyny or latent racism. But this message is not for these authors. It is for the gay men behind these words.

I get it. Marking yourself as someone who is “straight-acting” and only seeking the same may seem like the perfect way to make yourself sound more appealing. Most of the crushes we develop, especially those during our formative years of childhood, are on straight boys who make it obnoxiously and abundantly clear that we can never have them. Like me, however, many gay men are not attracted to someone who firstly – and often only – identifies himself and his ideal partner as something intrinsically opposite to who they are.

We hope that we all embrace love and respect, regardless if you are Straight, Gays or Lesbians or LGBT.

How it started
 
I’ve always loved to travel and I have always dreamt of traveling with someone that I love. It all began 3 years ago and thanks to one Social Networking site. This is where it all started! His name is E!

We chatted online for 2 days and agreed to meet. Unfortunately he never showed up! I went home and told myself he’s not interested.

Several hours later I received a text message from him apologizing and telling me the reason why he was delayed. He asked if we can still meet but unfortunately at that time I had a scheduled flight to Jakarta and planned to stay there for 2 months. I thought that was an end to that, I could not have been more wrong.

Whether your back pain is chronic or acute, it's possible to find some relief.

"All back pain can't be eliminated, but by being proactive you can make bad episodes less frequent and less painful," says Noah Finkel, M.D., an orthopedic surgeon in private practice in Huntington, N.Y., and a spokesman for the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons.

Chronic low back pain is pain that persists for more than three months. Often, the cause is difficult to determine. Acute low back pain lasts from a few days to a few weeks, according to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS). Most acute back pain is caused by a back injury or a degenerative condition such as arthritis.

The other day when I tweeted my distaste for the latest Kylie Minogue single (a form of sacrilege in some circles) one of my followers replied with one of my least favorite phrases: "We're going to revoke your gay card." Not only is this trite rejoinder (thanks to Ellen DeGeneres, we've been joking about earning toasters for nearly 15 years now) but it maintains the illusion that one must like certain things in order to be gay.