We’ve all dated men knowing we’re too good for them. Most of us love the feeling of having a boyfriend so much that we sacrifice our own dignity. It’s difficult to admit that we might be better than our partner. Doing so might make us feel arrogant or cocky, but the truth of the matter is there are certain people who are only meant to remind of us what’s missing. Perhaps it’s time to reconsider the compatibility with your man. Here are a few signs:

1. You Dumb Down Conversations

There’s nothing worse than being with a man who isn’t on your intellectual level. When you find yourself constantly having to dumb down important points of conversation you’re almost always going to max out your patience. Eventually you’ll see that it’s not just him. His entire universe (friends, family, coworkers) seem to live in another world and stooping down to their level is exhausting. You deserve more.

2. He Constantly Needs Encouragement

You’re not meant to be his life coach, but rather his partner in crime. No one wants to date a Debbie Downer, especially one who’s become independent on your advice, false hope and encouragement. A little goes a long way but when it turns into the basis of your entire relationship, you’re in for a worser fate down the road. You’re stable. He’s not. Eventually the imbalance will affect your own infrastructure.

3. Inconsideration Of Time

A man who’s always late or makes every opportunity about himself is clearly not considering the time you have together. Not only is this rude, but it’s also a sign of an unhealthy ego. Dating a man who values his time over anyone else is never going to welcome a fair and balanced relationship, especially when you’re putting in more effort.

4. He Can’t Take A Joke

A man who takes himself too seriously is consciously closing himself off. Not only will this result in you consistently having to walk on eggshells around him, but it’s also a springboard towards a controlling atmosphere. You like to laugh and enjoy life while he is too comfortable filtering out the world. It’s clear you have higher potential at contentment and satisfaction with the people around you. Don’t let him steal it away.

5. He Lacks Curiosity

A major part of living life to the fullest is curiosity. Without it, it’s nearly impossible to want to push the boundaries of our own situations. If he’s never mentioned the places he wants to do, the people he wants to meet, the goals he’s set for himself, things he’s always wanted to experience, he’s probably not going to add anything interesting to your life except sex. No one wants to date a man who’s taking up all your oxygen.

6. Your Friends Don’t Like Him Very Much

Friends see what you never do. Being in a relationship can build up blinders to enormous red flags you might not have noticed otherwise. The people closest to you are able to see compatibility much more easier than you are since they’re going based on what they see rather than how you feel. If they don’t like him, chances are, it’s not going to end well.

7. You’re Paying For EVERYTHING!

He doesn’t know how to pay his bills or keep a job so, chances are, you’re the one forking up the bill. There comes a time when you leave boyhood and enter manhood, and here in good old Man Land, we switch off who pays for what. For him to constantly be in need of your credit card shows exactly how he views the relationship. Don’t make it a habit – you’re too good for that.

At the end of last year, Australia legalized same-sex marriage. While Lauren Price and Amy Laker were the first couple to wed after the announcement, Ilan Buchman and Oscar Shub recently became the first same-sex Jewish couple to do so.

The wedding

Five months after the legalization, Buchman and Shub married at Sydney’s Emanuel Synagogue on 2 May. The wedding was officiated by Rabbi Jeffrey Kamins. Guests, 168 total, came from all over the world to celebrate the couple’s big day, including from South Africa, Israel, England, Canada, Perth, and Melbourne.

(Ilan Buchman and Oscar Shub became the first Jewish same-sex couple to wed in Australia)

Emanuel Synagogue is a pluralist congregation that welcomes the Masorti, Progressive, and Renewal sects of Judaism-all which advocated for same-sex marriage in Australia.

‘Certainly the reason we chose to get married in a synagogue – and we believe it’s an appropriate message to send to the Jewish community – is that times have changed and that if people suddenly discover that they have gay children or gay grandchildren, those children or grandchildren can still lead a regular existence,’ Shub told Plus61J.

‘For young people and those not out yet, hopefully by us getting married, officially with a rabbi officiating, it sends a good message,’ Buchman echoed.

‘It was an incredible honour and privilege, on behalf of Emanuel Synagogue, to officiate at the first same-sex ceremony under the legislation,’ Rabbi Kamins told J-Wire.

‘We look forward to more ceremonies in the coming months. My associate, Rabbi Jacqueline Ninio, who has been the strongest advocate of marriage equality in our community for more than 10 years, will be conducting with me another same-sex marriage early June.’

‘When he said, “I pronounce you husband and husband” and the whole synagogue broke into clapping; it was just amazing – it was fantastic!’ Shub said after the wedding.

This week on Falling for Angels, Here TV’s neighborhood-specific anthology series exploring the diversity of gay life in Los Angeles: Aging gays! Bed death! Non-judgmental treatment of sex work! Truvada for PrEP! High-earning gays’ relationship ennui in fussily decorated Bel Air one-levels!

I kid, of course. This week’s episode is another chamber piece with just enough plot for a 21-minute story about two gay men who have it all: a great house, great friends, careers, long-term commitment-except they’ve “fallen out of sex,” as the episode puts it. So it often goes in a long-term relationship.

(The latest episode of Falling for Angels eschews the usual stories of the young.)

The episode opens with Chase (Jason London of Dazed and Confused) and Bentley (Kevin Spiritus) really in their element, throwing a successful little birthday get-together. Both are wearing those soft-colored, vertically striped dress shirts that are basically the uniform for classy middle-aged gays. I’ll assume that the friends of Dorothy at the party are always this demonstrative, but even the hets in attendance are behaving en pointe for this spirited little gathering. Nobody does parties better than us. Everyone, of course, has a glass of champagne in hand. There’s a blazing fire.

“This beautiful man makes every day of my life, no matter what I’m going through and what is happening, brighter and better than I could have ever imagined,” Bentley toasts the birthday boy. We have no reason to doubt it.

The first half is cut, however, with anxious, sterile black-and-white shots of a hand placing pills on a plate and fingers fidgeting with wedding rings. Falling for Angels never has time for much nuance. “Bel Air” is a vignette and knows it.

“I wanted to show a long-time married couple in their most quiet personal state,” says writer–director David Millbern, an alumnus of the Actors Studio and Northwestern who is himself around the age of his leads. After the guests leave, the two have an easy, not-unpleasant scene in bed together, but it’s practically all business. Chase has an early flight, so they, with their flannel pajamas and matching sleep blindfolds, set an alarm, give a quick peck and turn out the lights. They settle in with their backs facing each other.

There’s no more inane question to me than one of the most frequently uttered in the gay community than, "Are you a top or a bottom?"

I literally can’t tell you the intense negative visceral reaction that it causes.

Technically I am top.

And by that I mean I have never been fucked in the ass.

This is not to say the notion hasn’t occurred to me. I think early on in dating life, my “top” status was driven mostly by my intense phobia of acquiring HIV more than anything.

Also putting things in your butt hurts the first few times for the most part.

My first boyfriend and I dated, on and off, for over eight years.

In that time we consummated (i.e. fucked) maybe a handful of times. People give me weird looks when I tell them that, and I guess for a lot of people for whom fucking is the end and all and be all (or at least a good 90 percent) of sex, that makes sense.

Ryan and I were best friends first and foremost, and we’re both truly versatile in all senses of the word - I think. A lot of our sexual experiences revolved around our adolescent- or college-aged fantasies (we both had played NCAA sports in college) and was definitely more mental than anything else. Our intense friendship which begat the relationship, and physical similarities, added to an intense attraction and love that stays with me to this day.

That’s to say, our sex life involved a lot of dirty talk, foreplay, porn, and jockstraps.

And ecstasy.

It was the '90s after all.

Also if ever there was a time I was going to bottom, it would have been with him.

But alas, unlike Goldie Locks, we couldn't find "just right" and he proved too big for what I was comfortable with.

My next two relationships I was the top in, and involved more fucking, but also led to what I thought was a funny sort of role play in my own life.

I often wore my hat backwards, I was athletic, I was outwardly “straight” acting. I was also very loudly out, but I found myself often playing a version of me that wasn’t an act per se, just a certain combination of actual elements of myself that interacted with the person I was talking to’s perception of me seamlessly.

I remember once going to the Lure, which was a legendary leather club in New York City’s meatpacking district. Every Wednesday, they had an “open” night called ‘Pork’ that allowed the non-diehard leather, Chelsea, and East Village gay boys to dip their toe in the fetish laden bar.

My memories of nights at the Lure are highly titillating, yet at the time, they required copious amount of beer drinking to get to the point I felt even vaguely comfortable talking to, let alone participating in anything with, some of the guys. But one interaction has always indelibly remained in my mind.

This hot guy wearing a leather harness and other superhot accoutrements came up to me, a self-identified “top,” when I was just buzzed enough to make eye contact, and not knowing the proper etiquette of my surroundings, I simply nodded “S’up” (wearing a backwards baseball cap, navy blue Del the Funky Homosapien hoodie, baggy jeans, and Adidas) to which he replied “Get over here boy and get on your knees.”

Force faced calls to drop out over perceived failures to tackle crime against the LGBT community.

Toronto’s police force has withdrawn its application to march in the city’s Pride parade after organisers highlighted perceived failures by the force to properly investigate crimes against the LGBT community.

The organisers of Canada’s largest Pride event had asked Toronto police to withdraw their application to join June’s parade.

In January the force charged Bruce McArthur with six counts of first-degree murder, months after Toronto’s LGBT community began voicing concerns that a serial killer was targeting men in the city’s Gay Village. Hundreds of missing persons cases are now being re-examined.

(Justin Trudeau, the Canadian prime minister, marches in the 2016 Pride Toronto event. Photograph: Xinhua/Barcroft Images)

As recently as December the force had said there was “no evidence” of a serial killer in the Village – a denial that further damaged the already fragile relationship between the Toronto LGBT community and the force.

“This has severely shaken our community’s already often tenuous trust in the city’s law enforcement. We feel more vulnerable than ever,” said Pride Toronto in a statement posted to Facebook and Twitter this week. The statement was signed by Pride Toronto’s executive director, Olivia Nuamah, and a number of advocacy groups around the city.

“Marching won’t contribute towards solving these issues; they are beyond the reach of symbolic gestures,” the statement added.

Mark Saunders, the Toronto police chief, said on Tuesday the force was listening to the LGBT community. “I will be withdrawing the application we have made to the organising committee of the Pride parade,” he said. “My hope is that this move will be received as a concrete example of the fact that I am listening closely to the community’s concerns.”

The city’s annual Pride parade, one of the largest in the world, can trace its originsto raids on four gay bathhouses in 1981, known as Operation Soap, in which Toronto police arrested more than 300 people. 

The so-called male G-spot is allegedly the source of mind-blowing orgasms - but are they good for your health as well?

The prostate is a mysterious and oft-misunderstood organ. A walnut-size gland found between a man's bladder and his rectum, the prostate's main function is to produce fluid that is expelled as part of semen during ejaculation; it's also the source of prostate cancer, which is the most common cancer in men. While many men dread their first prostate exam, the so-called "male G-spot" can also be a source of mind-blowing pleasure, according to those men who have experienced prostate orgasms.

While many men are wary of anal stimulation, the male G-spot is increasingly becoming a subject of conversation. While prostate massagers (like this Aneros Progasm) are typically viewed as toys for gay or kinky men, they're increasingly becoming more mainstream. According to the pleasure product company HealthyAndActive, prostate massager sales have increased by 56% over the past five years, particularly among straight men over the age of 45. This trend is reflected in Google searches as well: according to Google Trends, searches for "prostate massager" have more than tripled since 2004.

Does Your Penis Size Matter?

Additionally, some doctors are encouraging men to perform regular prostate massages (either by doing it solo, or with a licensed practitioner), claiming they can potentially help alleviate the symptoms of various health issues. While it's worth noting that some experts are skeptical of these benefits - "[they] may be an excuse for guys to persuade their partners to hunt for that elusive male g-spot," says Jesse N. Mills, MD, an associate clinical professor of urology at the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA -, we decided to speak to doctors and men's health experts to determine the potential benefits of prostate massage.

1. Erectile Dysfunction

While there isn't much scientific literature to definitively prove that prostate massage can improve erectile function, every doctor we spoke to say that it could help in theory. (What can also help? Our Men's Health course on erectile dysfunction.)

"The theory behind the potential benefit involves an improvement in blood flow resulting from vigorous milking or massaging of the prostate. Because erections are largely the result of good blood flow, any increase could potentially lead to better boners," says Joshua R. Gonzalez, MD, who has his own practice in Los Angeles.

2. Urine Flow

Urine should come out in a steady steam, but if a man has a swollen prostate or an inflammation, the prostate can irritate the bladder, causing the urine flow from the bladder through the urethra to be slow or even cut off.

"The improvements seen in urine flow from prostate massage again can be the result of decreasing inflammation in the prostate, which may be contributing to a man's urinary problems. Manipulation of the nearby pelvic floor muscles, which contract and relax in a coordinated fashion during urination, may also improve urine flow," says Dr. Gonzalez.

It’s the standard Hollywood teen fare – except its protagonist is gay. I just wish it had been around when I was young.

As many LGBT viewers bask in the peachy afterglow of Call Me By Your Name, 2018’s first big “gay film” comes bouncing up in the shape of something very different: a teenage romcom called Love, Simon. Based on the hit young adult novel Simon vs the Homosapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli and directed by Greg Berlanti (husband of professional US football player Robbie Rogers), Love, Simon, is the story of a 17-year-old high school student who strikes up a secret internet relationship with another closeted teen. The film follows Simon’s quest to find out who his potential Romeo is and how it affects those closest to him.

Love, Simon is remarkable in that it is the first film from a major studio, in this case 20th Century Fox, about a same-sex romance. Early reviews have been positive, noting this, but have included occasional sniffiness that the film isn’t radical or daring enough, and perhaps isn’t even needed.

Those of my fortysomething generation will remember sitting up late, chair pressed against the door, volume low so as not to be caught, watching the gay-themed films of the time. For me it was Daniel Day-Lewis dribbling champagne into the mouth of Gordon Warnecke in My Beautiful Launderette and, as I remember, naked men basking on rocks in Derek Jarman’s Sebastiane.

Jarman was a brave, pioneering hero, and My Beautiful Launderette a brilliant, groundbreaking film. But as a teenager, I didn’t need art-house dreamscapes or an investigation of the gritty politics I would eventually come to feel massively passionate about: at 12, what I really needed was reassurance that one day I could get a date and that we could hold hands in the cinema and go for a slice of pizza afterwards with our friends. I cannot tell you how much I needed that.

One review suggested that this is more a warm hug for the older generation than a helping hand for today’s queer kids who are rocking their own worlds and setting their own agendas. It’s something I heard over and over when I was writing my book Straight Jacket, about LGBT mental health: that the new generation “were over it” and didn’t need any help.

But that’s not what the young people I spoke to told me. Yes, of course it is far easier now in many ways. But some told me of being spat on in the street, or of being so bludgeoned by anxiety they didn’t go out, or of being bullied by families – one told me his stepfather wouldn’t allow him to have dinner with his siblings in case his sexuality “was catching” – and of course, when it comes to those from religious backgrounds, the problem is still huge and one which we are scared to speak about. Even today it is estimated that a quarter of homeless young people identify as LGBT. There is still a struggle to find solid healthy ground on to which young LGBT kids can pitch their identities. There is still a lack of positive representation.

But do you want to get married?

You might think that young gay men are all about the single life and dating apps.

But it turns out that polyamory and open relationships are not the dream, it’s monogamy.

Researchers have found surprising new relationship trends among gay men aged 18 to 39.

Lanz Lowen and Blake Spears, a non-monogamous couple for 36 years, looked into the experience of other same-sex couples.

The pair says: ‘There wasn’t any roadmap and we assumed long-term couples might offer valuable perspectives and hard-earned lessons.’

They surveyed a range of men, both single and in relationships. 42% of the respondents were single, the other 58% in relationships.

Of those in relationships, 632 identified as monogamous, 152 identified as ‘monogamish’, and 48 identified as non-monagamous.

92% of young gay men want to get married

If you're in a relationship, are you monogamous?

MonogamousMonogam-ishOpen relationshipSingle/Prefer Not To Answer

The study found 92% wanted to get married one day. 90% stated they were seeking monogamous relationships.

Half of the men identified as being in long-term monogamous relationships.

Previous studies have found two-thirds of couples who have been together for five years or more are in an open relationship.

But however, more younger men are seeking monogamy.

Two US army captains who met during ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ have become the first active-duty gay couple to get married at a famous military academy.

The wedding significantly took place in the glorious surroundings of the United States Military Academy West Point.

Capt. Daniel Hall, 30, and Capt. Vinny Franchino, 26 exchanged vows this weekend at the estate’s picturesque chapel, the New York Times reports.

The pair are Apache helicopter pilots. They met in 2009 when Hall was a senior and Franchino was a freshman.
It was at a time the former President Bill Clinton’s policy ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ was still in effect.

It stopped gay or bisexual members of the military from serving openly.

‘We were certainly never going to get kicked out of the Army’

‘We couldn’t tell the truth for fear of what would happen to us,’ Franchino told The New York Times.

A gay Democrat living with HIV has been elected as the new Speaker of New York City council.

Corey Johnson was elected to the role this week in a near-unanimous vote of the 50 city councillors. 

Mr Johnson replaces the outgoing Speaker Melissa Mark-Viverito.

The new Speaker Johnson previously made history as the only openly HIV-positive politician in the State of New York, and has also pioneered LGBT rights.

Mr Johnson made national headlines as a teenager in 2000 when, as captain of his high school football team at Masconomet Regional High School, he came out as gay.

Aged just 17 at the time, Mr Johnson was featured in the New York Times and on 20/20 to talk about his life and LGBT rights. He later became a contributor for gay blog Towleroad.

He joined the New York City council representing the 3rd District in 2014, and has fought on issues including homelessness, criminal justice, health and women’s rights.

His confirmation as Speaker follows a tough race, but his nomination was approved by 48 votes to 1 – with council member Inez Barron the lone dissenter, lamenting the lack of African-American candidates.

Taking up the role, Mr Johnson noted the body’s role in LGBT rights reforms previously.

He said: “If we become unmoored and lose our way, we need only listen to the voices of those we represent to correct our course.

“At this time, 32 years ago, in this very chamber, the city council considered legislation that would finally outlaw discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation in housing, employment and public accomodations.

Everyone deserves excellent non-biased, non-judgmental, LGBT-affirming care. Seeing practitioners who are part of the LGBT community can heighten the relationship and improve outcomes. We can all maximize our health care by understanding our own personal needs and desires, with constant reevaluation and reassessment.

The rise of LGBT-friendly medical culture is addressing closeted issues head on. And it’s about time.

During the aging - or should I say, maturing - process, change recalibrates one’s expectations, and without constant analysis, we may never reach our true potential. Here’s what you should consider in order to maximize your sexual health consultation and care:

An Open and Honest Doctor-Patient Relationship

First and foremost, it is important to define your doctor-patient relationship. The true understanding of individuals comes through open lines of communication. As patients, we tend to put up so many barriers. But we need safe outlets where we can receive high-quality gender- and sexual-specific care. A true and honest relationship lends itself to the delivery of unsurpassed health care.

That being said, our country is so divisive in the care one receives that responsibilities tend to fall on the patient, demanding a practitioner with a comprehensive understanding of all the sensitivities and concerns that fall within the LGBT community.

All facets of your health - be it psychological, social, or physical - should be evaluated at least yearly, if not more, depending upon one’s risk. If this is lacking or missing, then find another practitioner who hits the mark. There are many accessible medical leaders, and now with websites - like Lighthouse LGBT - highlighting sex-positive professionals, the move is yours to make. Trust me, you will not be disappointed.

Your Sexual History: What the Doc Needs to Know

The cornerstone of the mind, body, and spirit lies within one’s sexual history. All the rest of the medical analytics are routine and standard across the profession, with limited standard deviation on the care one receives. Yet, the sexual taboo continues to be in full force in my profession and it is incumbent upon the client to be educated on the appropriate questions one should ask.

This ranges from defining one’s sexual interests and desires to functional and risk assessments, all helping to minimize any harm or disease. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has developed a simple categorization of sexual history questions to paint an accurate picture of what should be the gold standard of evaluation. It’s “The Five P’s For Sexual Behavior History Taking.” Let’s break it down.