Adoption is an increasingly popular option among LGBT individuals and couples, and many adoption agencies are welcoming and supportive. Some states still have laws restricting LGBT adoption, so it's important to conduct plenty of research and and find a good agency to guide you. Meeting other people who have been through the process is a great way to learn essential information and form a strong support network as you start your adoption journey.

Start the year with a clean bill of health: All you need to do is pass these five fast and painless tests to ensure you're on track for a long, healthy life—and don't worry, no latexed finger or cold tube up your poop chute required (you're too young to screen for prostate or colon cancers). Take it from 38-year-old Stephen Dahmer, MD, a family physician at the Continuum Center for Health and Healing in New York City, who will be checking off these tests on his own to-do list in the new year.

1. How Much Milk Should You Drink at the Age of 50 and Also Over 50?

Drinking your milk is not just a good idea for kids. Every year, weakened bones account for approximately 1.5 million bone fractures – 300,000 of them hip fractures, according to the Harvard School of Public health. Getting enough calcium to keep your bones healthy and strong is especially important as you age. Drinking milk is one way for people 50 years old or older to get enough calcium to support their bone health.

Contrary to popular belief, gay men and women often want children. The only difference is, like a straight couple with fertility problems, they are somewhat limited by biology. Gay parents aren’t something new – they are already out there and have been for some time.

Today’s ruling that sweeps away bans on same-sex marriage - a victory for gays opting to wed -- could pose big challenges for U.S. workers who’d rather live with an unmarried partner.
The landmark U.S. Supreme Court decision being cheered as a step toward equality is also poised to carry unintended consequences, including some that could make life harder for employees, gay and straight alike.

With marriage now legal for all workers, surveys suggest that more than one-fifth of large employers may drop health coverage for unmarried workers’ domestic partners of either sex. Gay employees posted in less-tolerant countries may also have a harder time obscuring their status. On the plus side, workers may see lower bills in states that tax their benefits.

In a country which prides itself on diversity and tolerance, there's no shortage of gay-friendly camping options here in the UK. From up-market luxury camping in Wales to stripped back privacy in Norfolk, here is an introduction to eight of the finest gay-friendly caravan parks on home soil.

Tips for Staying Healthy in Your 60s

Ahhhh, our golden years—retirement, early bird dinners, senior discounts, endless hours to enjoy our grandchildren, garden and golf game...for some, maybe, but more often than not these days, life in our 60s is very different than we imagined it would be. Compared to earlier generations:

I know a lot of guys may not want to hear this, but men, in general, are less healthy than women by practically any measure. Life expectancy for men is currently about 75 years. For women: 80 years. About twice as many men as women die each year from heart attacks. And the rates of other major diseases such as stroke, diabetes and chronic lung disease are all higher for men.

Part 1: Just Too Tired

Everyone has phases of low energy when we just want to veg out on the couch. But prolonged mental and physical fatigue and chronic low energy can be a sign of serious health problems. Men have a unique set of reasons why they may experience fatigue for more than a few weeks at a time.

Celebrating any birthday involving a zero tends to be a big deal, even for guys. So moving from your 20s to your 30s deserves some special attention - especially as it relates to your health. After all, the last time your internal odometer ticked past a number containing a zero you'd technically been a teenager.
By the time you roll into your 30s, life's probably gotten a bit more serious. There are likely bigger responsibilities -- such as home ownership, a real career and maybe a child or two -- on your plate. So it should come as no surprise that the health conditions that strike in your 30s could be more serious, as well.

The good news is that if you take a few simple steps now, you may be able to breeze through this decade without more than a sprained or bruised muscle from a little weekend-warrior action. But "now" is the key word here. You most likely won't feel much different physically in your 30s, and in fact, there are components of your health that will even reach their peak, like your muscle mass. It will be easier than ever to pass up doctor visits and medical tests.

In December 2005 Gino and Mike Meriano became one of the first gay couples to tie the knot. They talk about what has changed – and what remains to be done.

Phones switched off, a nice quiet meal at home and a good film to watch on the telly – that, say Gino and Mike Meriano, is the perfect way to celebrate their 10th anniversary on Monday.

It’s a far cry from the excitement of the day itself when they were the focus of international attention, appearing on news channels around the world in their wedding suits when, at 8am on 21 December 2005, they were one of three couples who simultaneously made history by tying the knot in the first civil partnerships in England and Wales for same-sex couples.

Men’s health topics often consist of building muscle or shedding fat, but with a greater mortality rate than women, there are other important factors to consider for the optimal health and well-being of the male population. Matthew Ruscigno, M.P.H., RD, a plant-based dietitian who specializes in sports nutrition and co-author of “No Meat Athlete,” explains, “The big health risks are cardiovascular diseases like heart disease, Type-2 diabetes, stroke and others like cancer and Alzheimer’s. 

Much of the risk for these is related to lifestyle; mainly smoking, diet and exercise, yet we don’t prioritize prevention.”
June has been declared Men’s Health Month in an effort to heighten awareness of detection, treatment and prevention of preventable health problems in men and boys. Read on to learn more about the health issues men face, including mental illness, sexual health and cancer, and what actions you can take to help yourself or any of the men in your life.

1. Mental Health

Men are more likely to focus on physical symptoms while underestimating how physical problems can have underlying mental or emotional causation. Studies show that depression is underdiagnosed in men and that suicide is the third leading cause of death for young men 15 to 24 years old. Mental health can have far-reaching negative effects. For example, a recent study found an association between long-term depressive symptoms and an increased risk of having a stroke. It is important for men to seek help for mental health issues. Gary Libretti Jr., M.S., RDN, LDN, CSCS, a Chicago-based dietitian, suggests utilizing mindfulness when managing stress to increase health and well-being. ACTION: Discuss emotions, including stress, depression or anxiety, with your health care provider at every checkup and regularly check in with yourself about your mood and stress levels.

2. Sexual Health

Did you know that sexual health screening should be part of a regular physical exam? Though it can be a difficult topic to breach, start a conversation with your doctor about your sexual health. Research has shown that it’s uncommon for men to discuss prevention of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections with their health providers. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates 20 million new sexually transmitted infections occur each year, so it is important to get screened. Men may also need help with infertility, family planning, urinary tract infections, erectile dysfunction or other sexual concerns. Some medications, including heart medications like diuretics and beta-blockers, can also cause sexual health problems. And with one in three American men affected by cardiovascular disease, these prescriptions are commonplace. ACTION: Request screening for sexually transmitted infections yearly. Discuss any sexual issues you are having, including erectile dysfunction or fertility questions.

3. Eating Disorders

The National Eating Disorders Association highlights the fact that disordered eating behavior should not be assigned to women only; eating disorders do not discriminate on gender. Men are especially at risk when they participate in professions or athletic activities that have weight requirements -- wrestling, rowing, bodybuilding, dancing, gymnastics, swimming or even track. An estimated 10 percent of individuals with eating disorders are male, and studies show that rates of eating disorders are likely being underestimated in this population. A 2014 study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association Pediatrics found that many men also struggle to gain weight or muscle, and in an effort to enhance their physique they use potentially unhealthy products. The use of anabolic steroids or overuse of physical activity may be signs of disordered behavior. ACTION: Be aware that men do struggle with disordered eating too. It is important to seek treatment if you or someone you know is exhibiting signs of an eating disorder.

4. Substance Abuse

In the U.S., alcohol, drug or tobacco use among men is statistically higher than in women. Men were twice as likely to have consumed five or more drinks in one day, and they lead in smoking by five percent. The CDC estimates that smoking is considered the leading cause of preventable death in the U.S. -- six Americans die each day from alcohol poisoning, and more than 76 percent of those cases are male. Given the evidence of how substance abuse affects the male population at a higher rate than women, men should be proactive about speaking with their health care providers about behavior and risk factors for substance abuse. ACTION: Commit to quitting smoking today! Enlist friends and family for support or speak with your doctor to get more information on helpful aids during the process. Talk to your medical provider about tobacco, alcohol and drug use and seek information and support for help quitting or getting the treatment you need.

Even very small changes in muscle size can make a big difference in strength, especially in people who already have lost a lot of muscle. An increase in muscle that's not even visible to the eye can be all it takes to improve your ability to do things like get up from a chair or climb stairs.
Your muscles are active even when you are sleeping. Their cells are still doing the routine activities they need to do to stay alive. This work is called metabolism, and it uses up calories. That can help keep your weight in check, even when you are asleep!

To do most of the following strength exercises, you need to lift or push weights, and you need to keep gradually increasing the amount of weight you use. You can use the hand and ankle weights sold in sporting-goods stores, or you can use things like emptied milk jugs filled with sand or water, or socks filled with beans and tied shut at the ends.

Men's Health: Time passes, you might notice that you wake up earlier or throughout the night. You may find that you get fewer hours of shut-eye, or you fall asleep during the day.
Rest assured, there are things you can do to get the sleep you need.

How Much Is Enough?

There's no “right” amount of sleep. What you consider a good amount can be entirely different than what your neighbor needs. Still, experts recommend adults get 7 to 9 hours every night.

Results from a large cross-sectional survey of 2,325 men in Canada, aged between 55 to 97 years old, reveal the hidden health concerns men experience.

The study was led by Dr. Cara Tannenbaum, Geriatrician and the Michel Saucier Endowed Chair in Geriatric Pharmacology, Health and Aging at the Institut universitaire de gériatrie de Montréal (IUGM), which is affiliated with the Université de Montréal.

A new survey has found disturbingly high levels of depression, low self-esteem and suicidal thoughts among gay men.

The survey – published in FS magazine – surveyed over 600 men to learn more about depression and poor mental health in the gay community.
The survey found that 24% of gay men admitted to trying to kill themselves, while 54% admitted to having suicidal thoughts.

Same-sex couples are happier and more satisfied—and have better sex—than everyone else. Use their secrets to supercharge your own relationship.
A funny thing happened when gay couples were told by judges that they couldn't tie the knot: They invented a whole new kind of relationship blueprint. And then researchers checked it out and found that it seemed to be working better than the other one.

The landmark 2008 study, published in the journal Developmental Psychology, followed gay couples for three years and found that by nearly every metric, they reported higher-quality relationships and felt more satisfied than straight married couples did.
This wasn't exactly news to me. As a gay man, I know we defy the expectations of typical relationships.
And while one study doesn't mean we have all the answers, it does mean we could have something to teach you. After all, we date guys like you—we are guys like you. Here's what gay couples are getting right. Prepare to revise your blueprint.


Gay Guys Make Sex an Adventure

It wouldn't shock many people to learn that men have their minds on sex in a way most women do not. So put two (or more) men together who find each other attractive, and you can take a wild guess what happens. A study in the Journal of Sexual Medicinefound that gay men do, in fact, tend to have more active sex lives—at least in terms of having more partners.


But here's where things get interesting. In the Developmental Psychology study, gay couples were also shown to have higher levels of affection and intimacy. That's partly because we access a greater number of sensual tools in order to enjoy sex to the fullest. People in same-sex relationships tend to be more satisfied with things like deep kissing, touching, and undressing their partners than people in heterosexual relationships are, according to a study in the Journal of Sex Research. Of the four groups studied—straight men, straight women, gay men, and lesbians—straight men actually scored the lowest sexual satisfaction from those same things.


Where do they go wrong? A more narrow-minded approach to sexcould be partly to blame. "Sometimes straight men undervalue sexplay other than intercourse," says Men's Health sex and relationships advisor Debby Herbenick, Ph.D. "It's the variety ofsex—kissing, touching, breast stimulation, toys, and oral sex—that adds a much-needed dimension to a couple's sex life. Gay men often have a larger menu of things to choose from." Which seems counterintuitive, since men have matching parts. But gender roles, Herbenick says, can be more flexible among gay men, so there's less stigma attached to things like the use of sex toys. Gay porn also eroticizes behaviors like mutual masturbation, which you don't see much of in straight porn.


Straight couples also often struggle to be blunt about what they want from sex, says therapist Rik Isensee, a counselor based in San Francisco and the author of Love Between Men. "It can make some men feel vulnerable to admit that they could learn anything new about how to please their partner."


When you have that talk, start with simple requests, Herbenick says. If you normally have sex at night, see if she's game first thing in the morning, or head to the basement and christen the pool table. Spontaneity and unpredictability are thrilling, and the residual excitement will leave her wanting more. Then follow up the next day, Herbenick says. Try something like "Wasn't that fun last night? Here's what I'd like to try next. . ." and give her a chance to respond. You'll likely wind up with new material to fuel your sex life for months.


Or you could take a cue from another source of our creativity: porn. As Joe A. Thomas wrote in his chapter of Sex for Sale, a classic look into the sex industry, "Porn has always held a more accepted, even exalted, position in gay culture than in straight." Thomas cited a study that revealed that gay men watched porn at more than twice the rate of straight men—and that research was 10 years ago.


Gay couples quickly learn what a lot of straight couples take a long time to figure out: Used as fantasy fuel, pornography can actually spark sexual novelty and creativity, which is valuable given that two people in a relationship almost never have identical sex drives. "If there is something insanely hot, I will say, 'You've got to see this,'" says Darren, 36, a marketing executive in Beverly Hills. "It's how we get ideas to wow each other."


That said, if you're going to show porn to your wife, be careful what you click on, says Herbenick. "Most women don't like mainstream porn, but female-oriented options are becoming increasingly available, like those from Make Love Not Porn, which depict women enjoying sex and being respected during the act."


Where you get your ideas, however, doesn't matter as much as what you do with them once you're both feeling inspired. I once had a boyfriend who propositioned me to have sex on my fire escape. I would never have done that. (But I'm so glad I did.) That kind of openness and honesty doesn't just translate to more sex—it translates to better sex.
"We go out by the pool and leave the gate unlocked," says Darren. "We suggest little things like that to keep the excitement in our sexlives." Then they follow through.

Middle aged men health: The most common causes of death for men of middle age and older are all the usual suspects--cancer, stroke, heart disease, Alzheimer’s, respiratory disease, injuries, and suicide. Fortunately, some minor changes to bad habits can reduce the chances of dying of one of these perils.

Smoking

The negative effects of smoking tend to be worse in older people. They are likely to be heavier smokers and to have smoked for longer, which means their lungs have sustained more damage. 90% of all cases of Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disorder, the fourth leading cause of death in men, are caused by smoking, as are 80 to 90% of lung cancer cases. Men over 65 who smoke double their chances of fatal stroke.

Eat more bananas

Blood pressure tends to rise as we age. To combat this problem and lower stroke and heart attack risk, you should eat less sodium and more potassium. 
Further, many hypertension medications have a diuretic effect that lowers both sodium and potassium levels in the body. "Both of those electrolytes are necessary in a certain amount, but you need more potassium than sodium," Rasmussen says. 

As a husband, father, homeowner, and perhaps boss, he's farther up the mountain but his backpack feels heavy. He might wake up one day and discover that he now weighs, oops, 102 kgs, with very little of it muscle. He might find nothing in the tank for sex if it's a Tuesday and past 9:30. Maybe he hasn't met all the goals he set at 30. Worse, maybe he did. These are complicated burdens. Attempting to fix any one of them could be a huge challenge. How convenient, then, would it be if he could pop a pill that purported to be the rejuvenating answer? Given the choice between making life changes and filling a prescription for testosterone, it's an easy decision. But is the easy answer an effective one?

The fight to thwart male decline has been going on ever since the first guy with hair growing out of his ears plunked down a cheque for a four-wheeled mojo enhancer. But in the few years, the struggle to stay vital is increasingly being approached as a biochemical problem, one requiring pharmaceutical intervention in the form of testosterone replacement therapy (TRT). And we're not just talking about men over 50, or even 40.

Having unprotected penetrative sex is the easiest way to pass on a sexually transmitted infection (STI).

Using a condom helps protect against HIV and cuts the risk of getting many other STIs.

There are more gay men living with HIV than ever, so having sex without using a condom is extremely risky.

Gary Williams from Birmingham's Healthy Gay Life project says that many STIs are more difficult to treat if you've got HIV. Some, likesyphilis, may even accelerate HIV's progression.

"We're also seeing a rise in cases of hepatitis C, particularly in men who have HIV. Hepatitis C is treatable in some cases, but it's a long and drawn-out process. So to prevent its spread, use a condom."

Screening for hepatitis C isn't routinely carried out, but if you think you're at risk or have been exposed, speak to your GP.

Find your local hepatitis C support service.

"Gay men should have a check-up at least every six months at a sexual health clinic because, for some infections, you will not see any symptoms," says Williams.

Gonorrhoea ('the clap')

This bacterial infection can cause stinging when urinating or the feeling that you want to urinate but can't. It's treated with antibiotics.

Non-specific urethritis (NSU)

This is an inflammation of the urethra that's caused by bacteria. It's caught in the same way as gonorrhoea and often has similar symptoms.

NSU can also be caused by having lots of sex or masturbating a lot, which causes the urethra to become inflamed. It can be treated using antibiotics.

Chlamydia

This is a bacterial infection of the urethra, rectum or throat. There may be a discharge and pain when passing urine or pain in the testicles (although chlamydia can be symptom-free).

It can be caught during sex with an infected person in the same way as gonorrhoea and NSU. It's treated with antibiotics.

How risky is sucking co.k?

It is possible to get HIV from sucking co.k but the likelihood of this occurring is low. No one knows exactly how risky sucking co.k is, partly because most men who suck co.k will also fuck or get fucked as well and it is impossible to know which sexual act is responsible for the transmission of HIV. Very few men whose only reported risk is from oral sex have caught HIV, which leads us to believe that the risk is relatively low but also indicates that there is some risk. Oral sex is the most frequent kind of gay sex, so it says a lot that so few men have caught HIV from oral sex. We do know that well over 95% of HIV infections in gay men are due to fucking.

In its latest episode, the LGBT politics show Critical Thinking on Gay Chicago TV takes on the topic of bisexuality, which has for far too long been the focus of jokes, discrimination, misinformation, and just plain ignorance from both anti-equality forces and the LGBT community itself. Extreme biphobia and bi erasure, meant to make the bisexual community invisible even within the larger LGBT rights movement, have created an atmosphere of misunderstanding that the episode addresses head on.

Looking to have fun in the bedroom, no matter what your sexual orientation?

Sex is just sex until you've learned the secrets gay men use to drive each other to orgasm.

Whether you're in a committed relationship and are looking to spice up your routine, or are looking to improve your single sex life, there's always room for improvement in the bedroom. If you're grossed out by the thought of two men having sex, then this article probably isn't for you. But even heterosexual couples can pick up some sweet between the sheets tips here. What would you try if you weren't held back by shyness or insecurity? Ready for the goods?

Okay... drum roll. Wait, one more caveat! I'm asking you to keep an open mind and truly consider what I'm about to share with you as options for enhancing sexual pleasure between you and your partner. Without further adieu:

5 Gay Sex Tips Heterosexuals Want To Try But Won't!

1. Rimming.

 
Guys if you've gone down on your ladies, you know how great oral sex is. And, for you ladies, if you're a fan of giving blow jobs, you know how much your partner loves them. So what's stopping you from taking it to the next level? Granted, a clean anus is most desirable when you're the one who will be rimming your partner. Once at your destination (the butt!) gently grasp the butt checks in hand and get acquainted. Go for gentle sweeps that becomes more and more aggressive with slight insertions every so often. I'm sure some of you are gagging and saying "No way, no how." Your loss!

2. Tea bagging.

 
This sex act is titled for its likeness to dipping a teabag into a mug of hot water; the man's testicles act as the teabag and their partner's mouth, the mug. Some guys claim they're "only into tea bagging." Kind of crazy to think that this act, and this act alone can bring someone to orgasm, but it is an art. Sure, at some point, ladies, you may have given your guy a blow job and he might have requested you move further south. Now's your chance. The art is in the gentle caress with your tongue. Be communicative about firmness, tension and pressure - communication is key!

3. Nipples, nipples, nipples, nipples.

 
Two people, four nipples, four times the pleasure. If you're a heterosexual guy, then you probably just dive in and not use much nuance. Fine, keep acting like a teenage boy playing with a woman's breasts for the first time and making it "all about you". But if you're ready to move into a more mature state, pay attention! It goes for you ladies, too. If your man has never been a big fan of his nipples being touched, he's seriously missing out. Many gay men find nipple play just as powerful as blowjobs and anal penetration. Used effectively, hot breath, light licks, gentle to aggressive bites, pinching and twisting on the nipples lead to very good things.

“Sex now?” Yes, we’re asking. Because for this milestone 150th issue of FS, our aim is to present a snapshot of the kind of sex that gay and bisexual men are having in Britain and Ireland today in all its real glory. 
We asked single guys, guys who are dating, guys in open and monogamous relationships, and married/civil partnered guys all about the best sex, the worst sex, the most sex, the least sex, what type of sex… and a whopping 3,141 of you responded.
SINGLE MEN

“This is the biggest survey that FS has ever carried out,” says Matthew Hodson, GMFA’s Chief Executive. “With over 3,000 responses it gives a fascinating snapshot of the kind of sex that gay and bisexual men in the UK are having, what they enjoy and what they are doing, or not doing, to maintain their sexual health.”

42% of the gay and bisexual men who took our survey identified themselves as single. 

When asked when they last had sex: 

• 6% said they’d had sex today (the day they took the survey). 
• 33% said in the last week. 
• 19% said a couple of weeks ago.

Who did they have sex with?

• 58% of single men said the last man they had sex with was a casual sex partner. 
• 19% said it was a sex buddy. 
• 16% said it was someone they were dating or a long-term partner. 
• 4% said it was group sex, and 
• 3% said it was a threesome. 
• 44% met that last partner via a dating/sex app.

When asked how many sexual partners they had in the last year:

• 9% of single men said they’d had no sexual partners in the past year,
• 9% had just one partner, reiterating that being single doesn’t necessarily equate to having lots of sex. 
• 26% said they had 2-4 sexual partners in the past year. 
• 27% said 5-12 partners. 
• 15% said13-29 partners. 
• 11% said 30-99. 
• 3% said over 100.

So what’s sex like for single gay and bisexual men?

“I have lots of sex but with guys I’m not emotionally involved with,” says Dan, 26 from Essex. “I would like to have intimate, loving sex.”

“I love sex and get a good amount of satisfying, varied sex,” agrees David, 25 from Belfast. “I would like to have a more regular partner though.”

“I have casual sex with guys I meet on Grindr, which might be enjoyable a lot of the time but is ultimately quite unfulfilling,” admits Simon, 39 from Bristol. “I would prefer to be in a relationship.”

“I’m very happy, but sometimes I think I should be monogamous after having two STIs,” adds Jack, 21 from Cambridgeshire. “I love having fun though. Sex is constantly on my mind”. 

“When I’m involved with someone it’s great, and I only engage in anything sexual when I know the person sufficiently well,” says Lee, 34 from Liverpool. “Although my work/life balance always gets in the way of being able to make enough time for that.”

“The reason my sex life is on its arse, and not in a good way, is because I’m a workaholic,” admits Josh, 24 from Sheffield. “I’m a classical musician, and more often than not I put practicing and work before any kind of sex life. Also, I guess on some level, gay sex terrifies me.”

“Because I lack self-confidence I don’t go to gay bars or date,” says Alex, 46 from London. “So the sex I get is through online apps or sites.”

“It’s horribly unpredictable,” says Joe, 22 from Waterford. “You can get lucky with sex buddies and have it a few times a week. On the other hand, you can go weeks or months without it.”

“I am happy but it’s hard not to compare yourself to your peers,” says James, 23 from London. “Sometimes it feels like I’m not having enough, because my friends seem to be having more. Then you actually talk to them and it turns out they’re boasting because they’re also insecure about how much sex they’re having, and the cycle continues.”

Q: Dear Mona:I'm in my mid-twenties and I'm a virgin. I've been intimate before with both girls and guys but have never gone all the way. I'm dating this great guy right now and I'm not sure how to tell him. I don't want him to run from my lack of experience. My friends have advised me just to hook up with someone random so I can avoid this awkward situation but that's not me.  I want to be with someone I really care about and I think this guy could be it. -Arthur

Last month I published an article entitled  ‘The 15 gay guys to avoid in 2015‘. The intention of the article was to challenge readers to think about the people in their lives who may be doing more harm to their general well-being than good. Many readers received the post positively while some did not. In the spirit of open dialogue and debate, I welcome criticism and comment, in fact I embrace it – this is the point of The Modern Gay Guide to Life. So when the ever-so-humorous and witty Casey Patrick Comans wrote a clever list of rebuttals against the original list it needed to be published.

Here is Casey Patrick Comans’ 15 ‘MOS TO MINGLE WITH IN 2015: 

Is there such a thing as a healthy open relationship? I can only go on my own experiences, which were mixed.
I met Adam in the early 2000s. He was six foot two, tattooed, broad and masculine and counterbalanced my more twinky look. He was hairy and I was smooth, lean and blond with boyish looks. We were smitten in no time at all and entered a really passionate relationship. I was less experienced than him and in my late twenties. He was in his mid thirties and had been around the block a fair bit, trying things that I never had but which turned me on at the very thought of them. He’d had scores of anonymous one night stands, attended an orgy or two and engaged in numerous threesomes. The very thought of this made me squirm with lust.

The sex was brilliant and we were very compatible. One minor problem was that we were both quite insecure about our looks and both a little bit possessive. I resented his friendship with an ex; he mistrusted me with my gay friends. The usual things. We’d been together a couple of years and were on holiday when we ended up in a bar with a back room. The combination of drink and holiday atmosphere led to us entering into a mass fumbling session and both ending up with sticky hands, hangovers and regrets the next day.
It sparked something off though and we started to fantasise together about threesomes and about group sex. The next holiday we went on we entered another gay bar and this time ended up taking a hot young Swedish bloke back to our hotel room. It was a pretty good experience. This started the bizarre pattern we followed for the next few years.

Both of us were incredibly tempted by the array of horny blokes on offer on the gay scene. Both of us disapproved of infidelity. We came to a dangerous compromise. We would have a semi-open relationship. We could both sleep with other people of our choice but the other partner had to be present, either watching or joining in.

We set ground rules: safer sex only, we both had the right to say we didn’t want to pursue someone and we both had to agree. This worked for a while. We met a variety of blokes, some sexier than others, some duller and weirder and some more wildly exciting than we could have hoped for. We trawled the internet, saunas, back rooms and bars and managed to pull a fair bit.

Naturally the problems soon set in. Firstly: I fancied big, manly blokes who were slightly older. He fancied younger blokes who were more effeminate. Who did we choose? The ideal was another couple like us but that wasn’t always so readily available.

Nearly half of gay men questioned felt there was a stigma attached to bottoming or being the receptive partner.

In a poll run by TheGayUK sixty per cent of readers thought that there was or weren't sure if there was a stigma attached by bottoming or being the receiving partner during penetrative sex. Only 40 per cent said no there wasn't a stigma.

ALSO READ: BIG BROTHER's Aaron Shows How to Twerk Whilst Bottoming

However when questioned men who considered themselves more of a receiver said that bottoming meant that they felt they were in control.

One reader said,

'Being a bottom does not imply a position of weakness. I usually control what happens"

MANHOOD QUESTIONED?

The question of manliness and gender roles was raised with those polled pointing out that others' expectations often put gay, bisexual and MSMs (men who have sex with men) into a gender role according to which position they took during sex. Some suggesting that being a bottom meant being 'less of a man'.

David said,

"As a bear type, it's an almost inevitable look of shock and confusion when guys hit on me then find out I'm a bottom! It's almost like they think I'm pretending to be someone I'm not!?!? It's usually little twinklets that get all snotty and look at me like I'm less of a man!"

Young love is one of the most beautiful things a person will ever experience.

The moment your lips first touch those of your partner’s is the forming of a period in your life you’ll remember forever. There’s something magical about the way a gentle kiss makes the body tingle with electricity. And how the stomach, in its surprised state, begins to knot, churn and bounce. The mind, so overwhelmed by all the glorious dopamine, begins to pity anybody who’s not standing in your shoes, holding hands with their dearly beloved.

It’s nothing short of mind-blowing.

But, everything evolves. It changes. Given time, the booming choir of angels singing ‘Hallelujah!’ every time you meet Mr. Right becomes more of a white-noise than a tear-jerker.

Young Love Soon Becomes Old Love

It’d be unfair to say love is only beautiful in its infancy. It isn’t. It just has fewer obstacles in its way. The newness and the intensity serve as rose-tinted goggles that block out anything that would compromise such a feeling. (These are the things that cause problems later on.) But one thing remains despite the emergence of imperfections and the reduction in infatuation: they’re still your soul-mate.

Relationships After 40

40 is an odd age. It really is. It’s young enough to feel optimistic, yet old enough to realize life isn’t the glamorous fairytale we believed it to be when we were 20. Some may say that’s depressing, but it isn’t. It’s this wisdom that makes us more successful in business and in love. A man’s peak, according to Oxford University in bonny England, is 45-years-old. Everything you were doing before you joined the over-40 club, was, essentially, practice.

What changes

Psychologists believe there are several stages to a relationship:

• First contact
• Romantic realization
• Courtship
• Honeymoon period
• Reality
• Dissatisfaction/Contentment

By the time you’re 40, assuming you’ve been in a long-term relationship for some time, you’ve reached either the Reality phase, the Dissatisfaction phase, or the Contentment phase. (Hopefully it’s not the middle one.) The two phases on either side of the dissatisfied one above differ drastically from their predecessors. Mainly because of habit, life consciousness, and self-permission to work towards singular objectives, rather than relationship ones.