You can tell a service is in the popular consciousness once people use it to describe their idea for other services. If you want to start an on-demand service, you’d lay it out as “Uber for something.” Similarly, for anything connecting people for, well, another kind of on-demand service, you could say the “Grindr for something.”

Let’s go beyond the obvious ones, like Grindr for lesbians or straight people. What about Grindr but for naps? Grindr but for petting kittens? Or, Grindr but for Golden Girls marathons and late-night cheesecake sessions? (Okay, that last one is my suggestion.)

The cultural imprint of Grindr can’t be denied. The release of Grindr stickers (called “Gaymoji”) was accompanied by a piece in the New York Times. The list of shows dropping references to it are too long to list. But 8 years is a long time in the app world, and if past is precedent then now is the time to wonder what the future looks like.

I’ll never forget the night I sat on the ledge of an upstairs window at The Edge, a gay bar in London’s Soho Square, and told my friend Roland that my life was almost over.
I was two years away from turning 30, which, as I saw it at the time, meant the end of my life as I knew it. After all, I was a gay man, and, like women, we age at an accelerated rate that was at least 10 years ahead of straight men. In gay years, I would be a decade from 50!
I’d always considered 30 to be the turning point where I’d finally grow up. It would be a new age as tame and lame as new age (cue Yanni — ugh!). “I’d better enjoy the next two years because after I turn thirty, I’m never going out again,” I told an unbelieving Roland, who tried his best to break my resolve. “You’re only as old as you feel,” he offered, along with some other time-worn clichés intended to hold back the years. 

But he was only 23. What did he know about aging? I was determined to cut myself off: “No more bars, no more clubs, no more dance floors.” Who wanted to see an old man of 30 cavorting with a bunch of twentysomething twinks to a teen-pop soundtrack?

I’d pretty much given up on becoming the 30-year-old I’d always expected to be: one with a longtime companion, a thriving career and maybe one or two kids. If I were as fortunate as Meryl Streep, who was 30 when she won her first of her three Oscars, for Kramer Vs. Kramer, I might even have had an Academy Award on the mantle of my two-story house in Nyack, New York. Of course, I’d have to be cast in a movie first, and maybe take acting lessons.

How far I hadn’t come from one year earlier when I was being scolded over the telephone by another Academy Award winner.

“Give me a break. Give me a fucking break!”

Cher was so over me. I was interviewing her for People magazine, and I dared to bemoan the impending arrival of my 27th birthday. Once she finished berating me (only half-jokingly), she told me that her forties, which were a year away from being over, had been her best decade. When they began, she was dating a guy half her age. She had a big music comeback, hit movies and an Oscar all on the way. My life, she insisted, was just beginning.
I hung on to my mental checklist anyway and consulted it on my 30th birthday. I was half a 30-year-old success: I was a staff writer at People, a position I’d been promoted to exactly one year earlier, on the day I turned 29, and I was in love. My boyfriend Tommy and I rang in my new decade with a huge party at Cheetah, then one of New York City’s hottest night spots (formerly known as Sound Factory Bar, aka, N.Y.C.’s best gay nightclub ever). There was music, there was dancing and there was a lot of drinking.

Being gay should mean the freedom to embrace your preferences – not conform to the same tastes.

Unless you were raised by gay parents or were fortunate enough to be surrounded by LGBTI role models, it’s likely you experienced some struggle in accepting your sexuality.

You probably felt like an outsider: ‘The only gay in the village’.

The relief many of us feel when we finally come out is hard to describe to those who have not been through the experience. Suddenly, you feel that you’ve found your club: other gay people offer some sense of belonging.

Except, it doesn’t always work out like that, does it?

I was reminded of this when a friend posted a status update to Facebook about a first date that had gone awry.

Much has been made of how gay men are supposed to be obsessed with youth and not on intergenerational gay dating. It’s true that many of the commercial images used to sell things to our community tend to suggest one standard of male beauty: buffed, hairless, white and young. Not everyone fits this standard. No matter how much time you spend at the gym, the only way to stay young and buffed all your life is to plan on dying young.

For those whose main connection with the gay community is the bar and club scene, it is possible to live in a very age-segregated world. This is understandable - human beings often tend to hang out with people pretty much like ourselves in age or class or interest - but it can distort our perspective. At some bars, a 35 year old man who walked in might be the oldest guy around.

I occasionally hear older men comment on the age discrimination they feel they have experienced in such bars. Talking to them a bit more, it often seems that the “discrimination” involves finding that the younger men in these places aren’t especially eager to cruise or connect with them. Talking further, though, will often reveal that these guys aren’t interested in frequenting places with a more diverse clientele because they are only interested in young guys!

I’d like to suggest a new way of addressing ageism in our community. I think the real ageism is the failure to find someone our own age attractive. There is no particular reason why a younger man should find an older man attractive - although many younger men do prefer guys older than them. But when we hold up a standard that says in effect “Only men younger than me are hot or worthy of my attention,” we are setting ourselves up for a great deal of unhappiness in life.

Suited and booted by day, working in the financial capital of Frankfurt, locals like to let off steam at night in the gay clubs and bars in the city. Compact and friendly, there is something for all tastes.

Our guide to gay bars in Cape Town.

Frankfurt’s gay district is known as the “Bermuda Triangle”, an areal around Alte Gasse, north of Konstablerwache train station and at the crossing of Zeil, the shopping street and Konrad Adenauer Strasse.

Here you will find the city’s most popular gay cafes, night clubs and bars. The Mahnmal Homosexuellenverfolgung” memorial to gay and lesbian victims of the Nazi years is in nearby Klaus-Mann Square.

Unlike many cities, there is no specific time for bars to close in Frankfurt. Many are open all night on weekends. On weekdays bars typically close at around 1am, however if there are people in the bar, the barman will generally keep serving until everyone has left the bar.

Love Men To Men - ‘Nobody has the right over another person to be a parent or not to be a parent.’

There are a number of ways for gay couples to become parents – whether you choose adoption, fostering or to conceive with the help of a surrogate.

For Neil and Andrew, and Scottish-Bavarian couple Scott and Sascha, surrogacy was the way forward.

Ahead of speaking at this weekend’s Family and Surrogacy Conference in London, they spoke to GSN about their excperiences.

Neil and Andrew

Nine years aog, Northern Irish couple Neil and Andrew met through a mutual friend.

Their surrogcacy story started five years ago, when they first made the decision to have children of their own.

"Marriage should be between a spouse and a spouse, not a gender and a gender."

1. Foster Societal Acceptance Of Gay Couples And Gay Individuals.

Legalizing gay marriage will help establish a social norm that includes and respects homosexual lifestyles. Couples as well as individuals in the LGBT community will seem less "different" from heterosexual lifestyle, so straight couples and individuals will be more inclined to accept homosexual couples into their communities.

2. It Will Diminish Youth Suicide.

One of the main reasons why teenagers are commit suicide are due to the child being bullied at their school as a result of his/her sexual orientation.
The same acceptance that will come about due to legalizing gay marriage will show teens that homosexuality is accepted and respected in society. We need to explain to younger generations that being different is not a social disability, so that they will never feel the need to take their own lives because they are gay.

3. Gay Marriage Is Already A Reality.

In New York, thousands of gay couples have already gotten married. Manhattan is expecting $9 million revenue during the first year that marriage was legalized. Sure, the economic boost is a plus..but the reality is that millions of gay partners already practice monogamous. loving relationships in the United States. The trouble is that they are not legally protected as married couples, even though their lifestyle mimics marriage! Gays already practice marriage in their homes, so whats wrong with granting the LGBT community the rights they deserve?

4. It Will Decrease The Divorce Rate.

More than 50% of married couples in America get divorced. Studies show that the US has one of the highest divorce rates compared to other countries. Allowing gays the opportunity to get married will increase marriage rates because less couples will get divorced due to incompatibility or infertility. Legalizing gay marriage will decrease divorce rate because it cannot get any worse than it is right now.

Straight guys and gay men are two peas in a pod. If they’re the yin, we’re undoubtably the yang. For most gay guys, starting a friendship with a straighty can be fantastic. Unfortunately for many straight men out there, getting too close to a gay guy seems like unchartered territory. But I’m here to tell you that both straight and gay men benefit from calling each other bestie. Here’s why:

1. We Give Firsthand Knowledge On LGBT People

They hear it from the horse’s mouth so speak, rather than their broody straight friend who probably knows next to nothing about gay culture. There are too many misconceptions in the world for a straight guy to contemplate which is why having a gay guy present to answer can be fabulous.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “So… if you’re gay, aren’t you, like, boning all your other gay friends? You know, to help each other out or something?” As much as we like to think these questions are ridiculous, they’re pretty much everywhere! It’s probably best for a gay guy to set the record straight.

2. It’ll Keep Phony “Machismo” At Bay 

There is an epidemic happening in today’s world and it’s called the Religion of Manhood. Too often we depend on machismo, masculinity and testosterone to define who we are as a man. Being gay has nothing to do with masculinity or femininity, but unfortunately much of the world sees it that way. Because of this, men try to amp up their masculine attributes in an effort not to appear “gay.” In the end they only look foolish and are too lost in their head to appreciate the person they are. We’re all guilty of it, both straight and gay guys. Appreciating each other for who we are, aware of the contrast in orientation, will slowly break away all forms of pretending. Authenticity will soon blossom.

3. To Hone Their Insight On Women

Let’s face it. As much as straight guys like to think they know everything about girls, they only base their ideas on how women react to their charms. If they have a bad game, chances are they’ll have wrong interpretations on women’s brains. There are a lot of straight men who don’t have the empathetic skills to interpret a lady’s feelings which is why gay guys should be brutally honest. Having a gay guy to translate is always going to enhance a straight man’s insight, which will then bubble over to how he views the world as a whole. It’s a win, win.

4. Both Our Self-Confidences Improve

Look at the big picture. It’s rare for two straight guys to reveal their sensitive sides to each other. Tears are seen as a sign of weakness in today’s man culture, but the thing is without tears there are almost no lessons to be learned. I’m not saying life has to be a never ending Oprah segment, but sometimes a non judging voice of the same sex will help you get things off your chest. Gay guys are a little less intimidating than straight guys when it comes late night therapy sessions after a drinking binge of mimosas on a Sunday. That’s just a fact.

There are many ways to cheat at the battle to stay young…everything from extreme dieting and weight-loss supplements to more aggressive and invasive ways like surgery. While that may be the fast and more appealing road, keeping the same habits will get you back to the same spot sooner than later. Putting in the time and effort to stay young and healthy will lead to results that could last a lifetime. Below are a few simple all natural tips that can help you fight against the aging process without going broke or having potentially dangerous surgeries:

1. Get Your Vitamins On

Making sure you get the right nutrients into your system is crucial is you want to prolong your youth. My daily routine consists of:
- Multi-Vitamin (High in Vitamin D)
- Vitamin B Drops
- Omega 3

Single gay mens don’t want your pity. Hell, we don’t even want your help most of the time. It might surprise you to know that many of us are happy and don’t need a boyfriend or husband to define our self-worth, but chances are you probably won’t believe us no matter how many times we repeat it. Trust me when I say that single gay guys are no different than any other single. We know there’s a perfect man waiting for us, but we don’t want to rush into it. Stop reminding us of everyone else our age with a husband and children, in fact, stop saying all of the following:

1. “I don’t understand why you’re single. You’re such a catch.”

Thanks for the knife jabbing compliment. Chance are I didn’t say anything to inspire you to speak those two sentences nor are we in an appropriate environment that warranted the statement, yet, you said it anyway. Ugh.

The debate over gay marriage – or “same-sex marriage” – has been contentious in national and state politics for nearly twenty years. After voters in many states rushed to ban same-sex unions, the tide turned. In recent years, sixteen states and the District of Columbia have legalized same-sex marriage and another three states have approved civil unions or domestic partnerships that include full spousal rights for lesbian, gay and bisexual couples. Despite this progress, as of the end of 2013, only 37% of Americans live in a state with marriage equality; and many lesbian, gay, and bisexual people still do not enjoy the full rights and benefits associated with marriage. This is unfortunate for moral and economic reasons. Equally important, a growing body of public health research documents the many health benefits associated with legal same-sex marriage. 

Same-Sex Marriage Improves Health and Access to Health Care

Research on marriage and health reports a consistent and well-established theme: married people live happier, healthier and longer lives.
Consequently, expanding and supporting marriage for same-sex couples should enable lesbian, gay, and bisexual adults to live happier, healthier and longer lives. In fact, studies conducted in states that have adopted same-sex marriage have already established significant improvements in health and access to care:

- A study in Massachusetts followed a group of gay and bisexual men before and after the legalization of same-sex marriage and discovered that these men became less likely to need mental health or medical care visits.

- Two studies found that lesbian, gay, and bisexual adults who married following the California Supreme Court ruling in favor of same-sex marriage reported less psychological distress and were more likely to gain health insurance coverage.

The health benefits from legal same-sex marriage extend beyond the adults themselves – particularly to the 220,000 children in the United States being raised by same-sex parents. Employers who offer health insurance to dependent children often require minors to be related to the employee by birth, legal marriage or legal adoption. Thus, children are left with diminished protections in states that do not allow legal marriages or adoptions for lesbian and gay couples.

A study recently reported in Pediatrics found that children with same-sex parents were less likely to have private health insurance than children with heterosexual parents. The study also found that disparities in private insurance coverage diminished for children of same-sex parents living in states with marriage equality or laws supporting gay and lesbian adoptions. 

A relationship survival guide with holiday tips for gay couples, and the hottest hotels and hotspots

Your vacation, that beloved time of the year which can become a real issue for all couples - gay included.

It’s a time when you could find yourself falling in love with your other half all over again. Or, find a million reasons to break up, before even getting off the plane…

Spending so much time with your boyfriend can help you discover hidden aspects of his character, good and bad.

To help you survive, we, the gay travel experts Travel by Interest (ex Destsetters), bring you this guide to navigating the minefield that can be a romantic holiday. If you don’t want to spend yours sleeping in separate beds, pay attention to these top tips…

Find the destination: a strategic procedure

The first and most important step of the vacation process is deciding what destination to visit. Be careful, however. It’s not the final decision that matters most, but the whole deciding procedure.

“It was not uncommon to hear ‘There is no worse fate than to be fat and gay.’”

Statistically, gay men suffer from more eating disorders and body image concerns than straight men. So is it true that they struggle more with body image, or are straight men just less likely to admit to these struggles?

Here’s Stuff Mom Never Told You‘s Cristen Conger, examining some of the top theories on body image among gay guy. Can you relate to any of these struggles?

This information is a good start to fostering a healthy body image that everyone deserves.

Hey everybody. This week on Ask Cristen I’m a little raspy, sort of throaty, which can only mean one thing. Winter is coming!

So this week’s Ask Cristen question is coming from a gentleman who asked to remain anonymous because of the personal nature of what he was sharing with me. Specifically the struggle that he’s been having recently coming out as gay and also coming to grips with his overweight body image.

He said in his letter, “It was not uncommon to hear ‘There is no worse fate than to be fat and gay,’ and I’m finding this to be true in my own experience.”

I feel like the most I can really do is start a conversation about it, especially because I am, well, I’m a straight woman.

Research estimates that gay men have eating disorders at rates three times higher than that among straight men. 15% of all gay men have bottled anorexia or bulimia at some point in their lives. More broadly, research has confirmed a very strong correlation between the gay community and the so-called pursuit of muscularity – of that v-back, six-pack ab, chiseled body being very much an Adonis ideal.

Of course there are a number of non-Ryan Gosling in Crazy Stupid Love kinds of body types and body hair types within the gay community that are particularly attractive to certain kinds of guys, i.e. bears, otters, et cetera. But a lot of gay men, not all of them, but a lot of them feel an out-sized – pun – pressure to conform to an often unrealistic attractiveness standard. And this was something that BuzzFeed entertainment editor Louis Peitzman wrote about in a really gripping personal essay a couple of years ago, “It Gets Better, Unless You’re Fat.”

1. Big = Manly

Cristen: One of the big puzzles, though, when it comes to gay body image is why this is, why this particular pattern seems to exist. Yeah, there are some pretty homophobic theories that, “Oh, well, basically it’s because gay men are just like women.” Ugh!

There are also some more compelling theories about how there is this strong link between muscularity and masculinity constructs. And that perhaps some of it is motivated as a way to combat broader homophobia by essentially making yourself look like this idealized man to protect yourself in a way.

Let me start by saying that I love my girlfriends. Each and everyone of them has taught me something about myself and I value their friendship very much. They make me laugh when I’m about to cry and they are always down to party. What more can you ask for in your best friends? I absolutely adore being their G.B.F.

But there are sometimes when having girlfriends is just not enough. There are some questions they just can’t answer and some feelings they just can’t empathize with or induce. Sometimes you just need a good guy friend there for you. Not just any guy, a straight guy. 

The moment I was initiated into my fraternity, I knew from then on, I would have brothers for life. These group of guys would always be there for me, even after college. I know it sounds cliche, but it’s true. My fraternity brothers gave me something that my girlfriends could never give me. Gay guys need at least one straight male best friend and here are five reasons why.

1. Equality Over Everything

Even though we, as a society, are making big strides in making equality a reality, there are still some people who are just hateful. Or ignorant. Or fearful of things they can’t comprehend. Sometimes you expect straight guys to be weary and dodge us gays when we are near them. Having a straight male best friend changes your perspective on straight guys. He treats you just like he treats any of his other guy friends. He talks about sex, farts, burps, encourages you to do stupid shit, and hits you for no apparent reason. Even though everything he does is disgusting and sometimes painful, you love him for it.