US - Support for same-sex marriage is growing - even among groups traditionally opposed to it - according to a new survey by the Pew Research Center. The report, based on a survey conducted earlier this month, suggests public opinion is shifting quickly, two years after the Supreme Court's Obergefell v. Hodges made same-sex marriage legal in all 50 states.

Overall support for same-sex marriage is at its highest level since the Pew Center began polling on the issue more than two decades ago, at 62 percent in favor compared to 32 percent opposed. Support is also growing among groups that have been more skeptical than the population as a whole toward allowing gays and lesbians to legally marry.

Here are six takeways from the survey:

1. Republicans are now split

As recently as 2013, Republicans opposed same-sex marriage nearly two-to-one. They're now virtually split. The survey found that 47 percent of Republican and Republican-leaning respondents favor allowing same-sex marriage, with 48 percent opposed.

2. Older Americans are more favorable now

The survey also found that a majority of Baby Boomers – 56 percent – now approve. That's still considerably lower than younger generations: 74 percent of millennials and 65 percent of Gen Xers expressed support. But it's the first time more than half of the Boomer generation has expressed support for same-sex marriage. Boomers are still much more favorable than their parents; only 41 percent of the Silent Generation favored same-sex marriage.

3. Among White evangelicals, there's a generational divide

There's also a generation gap among another group traditionally opposed to same-sex marriage, white evangelicals. While 59 percent of white evangelical Protestants still oppose same-sex marriage, survey data suggests opinions are changing among the younger generation. Nearly half of white evangelical millennials and Generation Xers said they support legal same-sex marriage, compared to only a quarter of evangelicals born before 1964. Pew says support from the younger group of evangelicals has increased substantially, to 47 percent now, up from 29 percent as recently as March 2016. Meanwhile, the opinions among the older group have held steady.

The Gay Dating Landscape
One of my favorite psychological theorists, Erik Erikson, Ph.D., discussed how human beings pass through predictable developmental stages throughout their lifespan. From about age 18 to 40 is the stage of Intimacy vs. Isolation. This is the time when many or most adults form meaningful relationships with partners or spouses. From age 40 to 65 is the stage of Generativity vs. Stagnation. During this time, we tend to focus on establishing our careers, settling down into a domestic home life with a partner/spouse (and perhaps children), and, over time, develop a sense that we are part of the bigger picture.

For gay men, this can be a sense that we are part of a larger LGBT community, and we might naturally be very invested in seeing that community do well. This might lead us to give financially to LGBT causes, volunteer for certain organizations, and to discuss political and social issues with our peers. At this age, we tend to outside of ourselves, going from a youth that is somewhat self-centered to feeling like we are part of a larger movement that will live on long after we’re gone. 

We also might be debate in our minds about how much we want to work, versus how much we want to begin to “take it easy” and enjoy our lives more recreationally or leisurely. In this way, dating for older gay men might go beyond wanting to just hook up for our sexual side (although more on that, below), and dating might be more focused on how we feel another man shares our values at this time in life. If you are an older man who likes dating younger men, it might be exciting to navigate the difference between the generations, and this can be an interesting contrast, or yin-yang effect. Unlike our youth, dating might be more focused on things that older men are interested in, and we enjoy seeing ourselves “mirrored” in other men who share our values at that stage of life.

Dating for older, single gay men means that the process will only be satisfying if it reflects where are thinking and feeling is for that stage of life. Some older gay men I work get annoyed if the content of dating is too “superficial” or feels like “babysitting” someone who can’t really talk about things they’re interested in. In the dating process, it’s important to ask yourself if the man you’re on a date with feels like he “speaks the same language”, even if there is an age difference. Older gay men might judge how a date went by how they felt afterwards about the quality of the conversation, and perhaps less so on how they felt in terms of physical attraction.

Physical and Sexual Self-Care

However, that doesn’t mean that the physical and the sexual don’t play a role in older gay men’s dating, because they are important. It’s a myth that older men aren’t interested in sex. But for older gay men, sometimes discussions in therapy can “overlap” with issues they might also discuss, in a slightly different way, with their physicians. I’ve educated older gay men who are newly-single about PrEP and HIV prevention, STD prevention and management, erectile dysfunction (which has been a very common topic in my practice lately), and experimenting with different sexual styles (vanilla vs. kink) or roles (top vs. bottom). 

Sometimes guys who were “only” top in their previous long-term relationship want to experiment with bottoming, or sometimes guys who shied away from BDSM play when they were younger want to “explore” now that they’re out on the dating scene again. (In a previous three-part series of articles, I wrote about how therapy can help gay men age gracefully.)

I tend to emphasize the concept of long-term self-care. Older gay men who might have the slightest, earliest signs of “aches and pains” that we tend to associate with much older men might need guidance on how to take better care of themselves, even at middle age. 

They might need a referral for a nutrition consult, support for weight loss, a referral to a personal fitness trainer who “gets it” about older men, or a referral to a urologist or endocrinologist (MD’s) who treats sexual dysfunction like low libido, erectile difficulty, premature ejaculation, or delayed ejaculation (these have all been common topics for clients recently). My work with older gay men often incorporates discussions of the mind, body, and spirit, and putting together a combination of resources that help.

Australia, liberals are attempting to revive the gay marriage debate after 30 of the country’s largest companiessent a letter to its prime minister, Malcolm Turnbull. The letter urges the government to allow a free vote in Parliament to legalize gay marriage. As Australia’s government crawls toward marriage equality, homophobia is still deeply entrenched in the country, especially when it comes to sports.

A recent study found that 80 percent of Australians say they’ve witnessed or experienced homophobia while playing or watching sports. Half of gay men say they’ve personally been targeted, and 75 percent believe an openly gay person would not be safe watching a sporting event. That’s why the strong stance being taken by a gay Australian cowboy is so important.

The rodeo community in rural Australia is steeped in homophobia. But one rider, 18-year-old Josh Goyne, is standing up to the hate he faces on community message boards. “Today I was asked if I thought it was good that gays died of AIDS, and then the guy said he wished it was 1850 so he could shoot me for being a fag,” Goyne said in a video he posted to Facebook. But Goyne pledges to keep speaking out. “The gay cowboy will never be silenced,” he said. “I will forever be an openly gay cowboy. I will happily give a voice to those too scared to speak up.”

Three marchers carrying pride flags adorned with the Star of David say they were asked to leave Chicago’s annual Dyke March this weekend because of the symbol.

They told the Windy City Times that members of the Dyke March Collective told them the flags “made people feel unsafe.”

"Sadly, our celebration of dyke, queer and, trans solidarity was partly overshadowed by our decision to ask three individuals carrying Israeli flags superimposed on rainbow flags to leave the rally,” march organizers posted on Twitter in response to the incident. “This decision was made after they repeatedly expressed support for Zionism during conversations with Dyke March Collective members."

One of the people carrying the flag with the Star of David who was asked to leave is Laurel Grauer, a manager at A Wider Bridge, an LGBT organization that advocates for “equality in Israel” and promotes ties between Americans and Israelis. Grauer said she felt harassed by people at the march for carrying her flag.

"They were telling me to leave because my flag was a trigger to people that they found offensive," Grauer told Windy City Times. "Prior to this [march] I had never been harassed or asked to leave and I had always carried the flag with me."

Shoshany-Anderson was also asked to leave the march. "I was here as a proud Jew in all of my identities," she told the Windy City Times. "The Dyke March is supposed to be intersectional. I don't know why my identity is excluded from that. I feel that, as a Jew, I am not welcome here."

10 Reasons All Men Should Explore Makeup 

Recently, I've started wearing some makeup (that’s me on the left). I don't go full on drag queen, but I do put on some eyeliner here and some face paint there. I even love to throw some glitter on my cheeks. (It never comes off and it gets everywhere, but it’s well worth it.) That said, those are times when I’m trying to serve up a fresh look. However, those aren’t the only times I wear makeup. I also wear makeup (more speci cally, cover up) when my face breaks out or if I have huge bags under my eyes (which is more often that I care to admit). I absolutely LOVE wearing makeup, and to be honest, I wasn’t expecting that I’d enjoy it nearly as much as I do. I really thought I’d try it once, and be like, “Oh… this really isn’t for me,” and then carry on my way. That was far from the case. So here are 10 reasons why every guy should explore wearing makeup!

1. You will stand the f*ck out

When you go out, you want to peacock. More guys will come up and talk to you, simply because it’s easier to start a conversation. “Oh my god, I love your look!” From there, you can actually talk to people and make friends. Since I’ve started hitting the town wearing makeup, I’ve made so many more friends. I know it’s ridiculous to say, but it’s true. 

2. You’re giving a big middle finger to gender norms 

Maybe it’s just me, but I love a good gender bending - a big ol’ F U to gender norms. Makeup is just that. You’re destroying what it means to be masculine and feminine, by wearing makeup.

3. It makes getting ready to go out more fun

Let’s be honest for a second: half of the time, the pre-party is more fun than the actual party. Putting on your makeup with friends is downright fun. They can help you out. You get all excited for going out. It’s just a fun, bonding experience

4. It increases your confidence.

You know when you have that huge zit on your face and you can’t enjoy your night because you’re afraid everyone is looking at it? There is a simple solution to that. Concealer. Done. Problem solved. Confidence = boosted. 

5. You will look fabulous 

Want to look tan? Slap on some bronzer. Want to get rid of bags? Wear some concealer. Want your eyes to pop? Throw some eyeliner and mascara on there! You look Gorgeous Honey.

Governing coalition is divided on the issue and the lower house's legal affairs committee has repeatedly deferred an official vote.

Germany’s highest court has rejected an opposition party’s attempt to force a parliamentary vote on same-same marriage.

The country has recognised civil partnerships for same-sex couples since 2001. While other countries have taken the next step and allowed same-sex marriage and most of Germany’s political parties are in favour of it, Chancellor Angela Merkel’s conservative bloc remains reluctant.

René Mertens, representative for the Lesbian and Gay Federation in Germany, told Gay Star News: ‘The decision of the Federal Constitutional Court is disappointing. Karlsruhe has missed a chance to protect the rights of Lesbians and Gays and open marriage for same-sex couples,’

‘Now it’s important that the German Parliament prepares the way for full marriage equality in Germany. The Christian Democratic Union (CDU) has to stop blocking marriage for all and, they have to start preparing the way for marriage of same-sex couples.’ He said.

The Christian Democratic Union is one of the political parties currently part of the Grand Coalition that governs Germany. Also involved are the centre-left party Social Democratic Party (SPD) and the Christian Social Union in Bavaria.

Parliament’s upper house, the Greens and Left Party have proposed legislation legalizing same-same marriage. The coalition government is divided on the issue and the lower house’s legal affairs committee has repeatedly deferred an official vote.

Saddened by "the epidemic of gay loneliness"? Take heart in all the blessings provided to LGBT people. Read more below. Recently articles have emerged that concern me. They talk about “minority stress” and an epidemic of loneliness among gay men, despite recent gains in equality and acceptance in pop culture and society at large. But worst of all, these articles suggest that we cope with our stress in isolation. 

The trouble - as described in these articles - consists of our pressures. Our pressure to overcome traumatic events, our pressure to keep our trauma to ourselves, our pressure to cope with stressors that, sometimes biologically, our nervous systems are not prepared to handle. That bleak picture, though thoroughly researched, is incomplete. 

I’ve been researching peace for for nine years as part of my documentary film A Chance for Peace, and one of the main lessons I’ve learned is that we can’t know something without first knowing its opposite. So I’m here to put fear aside for a minute and majorly stress an epidemic of love among gay men - because, although “love” and “gay” may be an unpopular pairing at present, it’s a message worth spreading.

1. I am part of a historic political movement.

Whether or not you are active in the LGBT fight for equality, you are aware of the message of the movement. On June 26, 2015, we made history when the Supreme Court found bans on same-sex marriage to be unconstitutional. In the history books, our success will not be a story of war and recession, but one that says lovewins. We changed the law of the land and remain united in our message. June 26 should be marked as a holiday so that every year we can celebrate what it means to be relentlessly loving.

2. By knowing shame, I appreciate differences and beauty in myself and others.

Gay men are confronted with shame early in life. Before we can even identify it by name, it’s there haunting us. But in that unlearning we must go through a healing process few are afforded. It’s not easy, but with each brick we lay in the road to wellness, we learn that not only is shame pointless, but that behind that shame is someone who can see the beauty in anyone and anything, someone who can have fun to the fullest; and someone who knows love truly, because we have gone through the difficult process of learning to love ourselves.

3. I live in a global community without borders.

Social media hasn't just brought us Grindr and the Scruff, it’s also brought us GayBnB and MisterBnb. Traveling teaches tolerance, and when teaching anything there’s power in numbers. When we invite other LGBT people into our homes and navigate our cultures together, it gives us an opportunity to reflect on where we came from. What can we learn from Thai Buddhism about accepting transgender people into society? How can we elevate our spiritual identities to what Native Americans refer to as “two-spirit”? It’s in this close contact with other LGBTs that we can contextualize our experience from a global to a local level.

4. I am an ambassador of diversity.

I genuinely believe that we are here on this planet at this time to contribute to the beauty of diversity. LGBT people come in many colors and creeds, and we’re in every country, determined to bring something different to the conversation. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve traveled to a country where I was warned residents were unkind to LGBT people and ended up having multiple kind, curious souls politely ask me about what it means to be gay. Live that rainbow! Some folks out there are listening.

Considering they’re the first item of clothing you slip into every day of your life, underpants are probably the last item in their wardrobes guys put time into researching. However, it’s worth doing so - getting the right pair of underpants in your armoury not only means you feel better all day long, but also means your clothes will hang better too.

The thing that’s most important when you’re buying pants is to be honest with yourself. This is the layer that sits closest to your skin, so if your underwear doesn’t feel good or doesn’t support you enough, then it’s time to edit.

There are also clear signs that you might be wearing the wrong size altogether. If the leg bands are digging into your thighs, you’re probably wearing a size too small. If your waistband keeps slipping underneath your trousers every time you bend over, you are either wearing a size too big or the elastic has totally gone (and it’s time to have a throw-out).

Here we break down the four major cuts for men’s underwear and the guys they look best on - as well as one option we humbly suggest you avoid altogether...

Briefs

Best for: Men with larger thighs (and those who are, ahem, more well-endowed).

Forget those briefs your mum used to buy you, the new generation of designer models on the market right now are sleeker and more stereotype-breaking than ever. And there’s a reason why you’ve seen footballers who put in the legwork like David Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo wearing them in campaigns: they’re the best choice for guys with bigger thighs. If you’re repping thicker trunks, you’ll tend to find underwear with legs attached like boxer-briefs, tend to ride up during the day, causing a roll in the material that will inevitably show through slim trousers.

Briefs are also good for shorter guys as they expose more of your legs, making them appear longer and you, therefore, taller.

Perhaps most importantly, this style is superbly supportive - so spot-on if you’re a cardio fiend. While for day-to-day dressing we’d recommend going for a pair in 100 per cent cotton, just be sure to look out for versions in a technical fabric for your workouts as these will wick away moisture from your skin - no man-man fibres, unless you’re particularly keen on getting a rash down there.

It might be raining men at the gay club, but that’s not really your scene. You’re ready to make the kind of real connection that’s difficult to make while shouting over a Beyoncé track. You’re looking for more than just someone to share a dance with. You’re looking for someone to come home to. Yet outside of the bar scene, it can be difficult to figure out where to meet other gay guys, especially guys that actually share your interests. So where else can you go to meet gay men?

The trick is to think outside of the box. While opportunities for gay dating might not always seem immediately obvious, once you start getting creative you’ll see that the possibilities for meeting the man of your dreams are virtually endless. There are probably dozens of places to connect with the guy of your dreams right in your own backyard that you haven’t even considered yet.

Are you not quite sure how to get started? Don’t worry. We’ve got you covered. We’ve got the lowdown on loads of fun and totally unique ways to meet gay men. We even broke it down by type so you’re sure to find exactly the kind of guy you are looking for. So if you’re single and ready to mingle, read on for all the tips on how to get your dating life out of the gay clubs and on track to some serious romance.

Where to Meet Funny Gay Men

Is there anything better than a funny guy? We think not. If you’re dying to meet gay men who can tickle your funny bone, you need look no further than your local comedy club. There are lots of amazing gay comedians working right now (Cameron Esposito, Simon Amstell and Sampson McCormick are some of our favorites), but you don’t necessarily have to wait for one of these big names to come to town to enjoy a night of queer comedy.

LGBTQ-friendly comedy shows are popping up all over the place and they can be the perfect spot to meet the hilarious hottie of your dreams. Remember to not just look on stage for your next potential main squeeze - look in the audience as well. Your dream date doesn’t need to be a professional comedian to have a great sense of humor and a comedy show is the perfect place to meet gay men who love to laugh.

Where to Meet Smart Gay Men

Does the deep, intellectual type make you swoon? If you’re looking to meet gay men whose brains are as big as their, uh, hearts, you have lots of options. The trick is to find events that will tickle your brainy future boyfriend’s intellect. Check out your local college or university to see if the Queer Studies department will be hosting any guest lectures that are open to the public, go to a book-signing for your favorite LGBTQ author or join a gay book club.

These sorts of activities are sure to attract the sort of intelligent man you’re seeking. Best of all, when you lock eyes with the brooding hottie across the room, you won’t have to scramble for something to talk about as the event will give you all the ice-breaking conversation starters you need. When your dream guy hears you wax poetic about his favorite work of LGBTQ fiction, he won’t be able to resist your charms.

Where to Meet Politically Active Gay Men

Wondering how to meet gay men who are as politically savvy as you are? To meet gay guys who are engaged in social justice issues, the best approach is to get involved yourself. From your local chapter of GLAAD, to your local LGBTQ community center, to canvassing for political candidates who stand on the right side of LGBTQ issues, volunteer opportunities are everywhere.

Not only are these organizations sure to attract the type of enlightened guy you are looking for, but you’ll get the satisfaction of knowing that you aren’t just dating -- you’re making a difference. When you meet someone who shares your passions, it’ll be no time before you are sharing so much more (maybe even your free sample of Astroglide).

Where to Meet Geeky Gay Men

Do you geek out over comic books, video games and Dr. Who? If you want to meet gay men who can geek out with you there are a few places that you can start. Check online postings for local meetups on sites like MeetUp. A quick search for “gay geeks” should give you all the info about where to go to meet and hangout with gay men who share your interests.

Another great place to meet your next main squeeze is at LGBTQ comic conventions like Flame Con hosted by Geeks Out. Spend a whole weekend mingling with like-minded gay men and you just might make a connection with the handsome geek of your dreams.

Telling your parents you’re gay is one of the toughest things many of us have to tackle in life. After years of parental expectations that we will marry someone of the opposite sex, and have two kids and a house with a couple dogs, we worry that their hopes and dreams for us will be dashed by coming out to them.

That dynamic is particularly powerful in China, where family is central to the culture.

China has an unofficial “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. As long as no one talks about being gay, as long a gay son doesn’t have a long sit-down coming-out conversation with his parents, everyone is accepting of his “roommate” as, well, a very good roommate. A very, very good roommate.

In China, family is everything.

Gay couples often go along with the charade to please their parents. While complete acceptance from their family would be wonderful, culture and traditions dictate a tough road for those gay men looking for long conversations about nontraditional love and marriage.

On top of that, China has no legalized recognition for any same-sex couples.

Yet after talking to various patients of mine in China, I’ve learned there’s one thing that breaks through all of that, something that when included in that long sit-down coming-out conversation breaks down barriers and smooths a path toward more understanding: having children.

Family life in China is cherished, and having children - and ultimately grandchildren - is held as the greatest joy in life.

A large part of the disappointment felt by Chinese parents of gay sons is the idea of not being able to have grandchildren. Having a gay child ends the possibility of growing the family and bringing more children’s laughter into the fold.

Of course, those assumptions about gay couples not having children are remnants of a bygone era in the United States, where gay men have access to modern reproductive technologies and less-conservative views on surrogacy. In China, where assisted reproduction is not accessible for gay couples, the assumption that a same-sex couple will not have children isn’t far off.

Thankfully, that’s changing. While it’s mostly accessible to only wealthier people in China, many are finding fertility and surrogacy options overseas, including here in the United States. I’ve been proud to visit China several times, bringing information and hope about family-building to the LGBT community there.

'My future self knows those special moments in life are for you to remember fondly - not for others to validate.'

I have all the time in the world for regret.

I was scrolling through Twitter this morning – something I’m trying to stop as part of a self-proclaimed ‘free your mind’ mantra – and I noticed a tweet from this guy.

‘Sam’ looks great, his profile picture boasts one of his impressive biceps and I always assume he’s one of these top of the world power gays.

But this particular tweet broke that template.

It read: ‘Insomnia. Sunday blues. Rut. Sad.’

How could someone who looks like him be sad? I realise how ridiculous and pathetic I was for even thinking that. But, that’s where my baseline for happiness is set right now through lack of self-body positivity.

My inner saboteur, who I call Missy, says: ‘Happiness and beauty are one in the same.’

What do you regret in life?

This guy is human, even with the pedestal of beauty I – and many I bet – place him on, he is permitted to be down about something (Missy can’t possibly work out what, however.)

Being aware of this damaging thought process led me to ruminate over the potential irreparable regret of basing my own happiness on appearance. The truth is, as hard as I try and as shallow as it is, that’s where I am now – and I want to change for my own good.

I no longer want Missy to subconsciously trick me into certain beliefs and I will regret it if I allow her to continue.

What if I achieve muscle god power gay status and realise I’m still discontent like Joey is at times? What if, at the end of my life, I find I held myself back from enjoying it because of my demons?

I can’t continue setting myself up for regret. In recent years I’ve slowly begun to get the upper hand on Missy and work every day on changing her/my innate perceptions of reality; it’s a timely process and sometimes I have weak moments.

However, my fear of irreparable regret powers me to work against those convictions and my inner saboteur. Writing this in itself is therapy and motivation to keep going.

Gay men in particular share many self-imposed convictions and I’m certain by listing the things I’m in danger of living to regret I can provide myself – and potentially others – with a map to navigate around – and refer back to – these issues in the hope for a happier future.

1. Letting fear keep you lonely

I was overjoyed to make a few close friends when I moved to London alone. I created a little world for myself, but as it began to expand and gaps appeared I realised I shouldn’t rely on any one individual to provide me with a social life.

That said, those special friends are still in my life now and I wouldn’t change it for the world – I just don’t want to unfairly cling to them.

I have tried submersing myself in social groups or volunteering work but anxiety or fear has always stopped me from going back or properly integrating. I have recently joined a LGBTI Jujitsu club to widen my circle of friends, fill my time and develop a skill.

My future self says I won’t give up and let fear keep me at home, alone.

2. Letting negative body image rule your life

I previously wrote a comment piece about how I felt less of a person because of my body even when other things in my personal life were going so well.

In the piece, I describe how even though I have been successful in a professional capacity and in other ways, including managing to move to London on my own and changing my path – in my eyes, I still couldn’t shake the idea that I was lesser of a person because my body wasn’t ‘up to scratch’.

I wasn’t appreciating the things that were exceptional in my life.

My future self says I will learn to recognise when I should take pride and appreciate something regardless of where I am in other personal journeys.

Sexual exclusivity is a deal-breaker for me. He asked me, quite nonchalantly, if I was the “dating type.” I said I was, but it depended on the guy. We were standing at the free weights, studying our reflections in the mirror, sweating profusely. We later met at the Starbucks near the gym. After some good chatting, I dropped the bomb. “I must warn you,” I said, “I’m hard to date. That’s why I don’t do it often.” He asked what I meant. I explained that I was non-monogamous and polyamorous. The most I could give him was romantic exclusivity, at least for a little bit, but I could never be sexually exclusive to only him. Sexual exclusivity was a deal-breaker for me. He took it in. He looked down at his to-go coffee, mulling it over. “I’m cool with that,” he said, “but why would you want to date if you’re just going to fuck everything that moves?” There wasn’t a second date, and that’s OK. We were never going to work out. This gay man will never be monogamous. Here’s 15 reasons why.

1. Sex and love are different. 

In all discussions on monogamy, nonmonogamy, and polyamory, this is home base. You start here. Sex and love are different. Our culture tends to conflate them, or at least see them as byproducts of each other, but the reality is very different. Sex is an animal act, something you may do with a random stranger or lifelong lover. Love - a word that resists any hard definition (much like “queer”) - is at least a mental and emotional connection with someone that exists independently of sex. Want proof? There are many sex-free couples madly in love. And there are many people who will go home tonight with strangers they don’t know, don’t love, and may not even like very much, and have awesome sex with them for a couple hours. I’m probably one of them.

2. You can love many people at the same time. 

There’s a myth that “real” love comes in a limited amount - that love “shared” or “split” between two or more people is weaker or less authentic than love piled on one person. This is called “starvation economy.” Starvation economy myths are especially tough for people who’ve been emotionally or physically abused or have truly suffered from hunger or not having enough. Our culture tells women to “fight” for a good man. It tells people to lay claim over someone’s love for fear that if you let your guard down, they’ll start loving someone else. These are unhealthy results of starvation economy narratives that our culture enforces over and over. Starvation economies are social myths that tell us there is a limited amount of things which are truly limitless. There is enough love, sex, and pleasure to go around.

3. You’re allowed to have sex with many people.

Polyamorists and non-monogamists embrace a radically simple view of sex: Sex is a good thing. You can’t have too much of it. Sex isn’t bad. Sex isn’t sinful. You’re not a sinful or dirty person for wanting it. Living this way - enjoying your sexuality - will invite social criticism in nearly every culture. You will be called names. People will refuse to date you because you’re a slut. There are many attitudes around sex in the world and most of them are negative. Many religions are concerned with what we do in bed and take great pains to police our sex lives. Don’t listen to them - or listen, but understand that they are the result of centuries of social conditioning and institutionalized abuse.

4. Polyamory and nonmonogamy are real concepts - not made-up ways to “cheat and get away with it.” 

Polyamory and nonmonogamy are not interchangeable terms. You can technically have a monogamous polyamorous relationship. What’s the difference? Monogamy is sexual exclusivity to one person, or a few people. You’re monogamous with your boyfriend when you’re only fucking him and he’s only fucking you. Nonmonogamy recognizes the problems with monogamy (more on that later) and defines relationships in which sexual exclusivity varies. Nonmonogamous couples may occasionally play with a third, or have separate trysts on the side, or have dominant/submissive relationships with other people, or play with others only when they’re apart, or may establish certain freedoms on certain occasions. (For example, many gay couples give each other permission to play freely with whomever they want on Pride weekend.) Polyamory is simply the practice of loving various people at the same time. The difference between these two terms is that “non-monogamy” implicitly defines a “primary” two-person relationship with various secondary and tertiary partners on the side. In contrast, polyamory rejects a central twoperson pairing as the “main” one, and sees all relationships as different, equal, and important, existing in tandem with each other. If nonmonogamy is a web with strands spread out from the center, polyamory is a series of strings laid together, running parallel. “Nonmonogamy” is generally talking about sexual exclusivity — the “focus” of the word is sex. Polyamory (composed of the Greek poly meaning "many, several" and the Latin amor, “love”) defines many loves, many relationships. Its “focus” is affection for multiple people, regardless of sex. I am a non-monogamous polyamorous gay man. 

Last week in Philadelphia, as part of its month-long Pride celebrations, the city hoisted the rainbow flag on a pole outside City Hall. As people clapped and cheered, someone inevitably asked, “Wait, why is there a black and a brown stripe on there?” That person was right to ask why, because, well, black and brown stripes on the Pride rainbow flag are a new thing.

Turns out, Amber Hikes, the head of Philadelphia’s Office of LGBT Affairs, decided to add the stripes as a way to give more visibility to LGBT+ people of color. This makes sense when you consider that Philadelphia has had some issues with racial discrimination over the past year. Throw in that there have long been issues of racial division and discrimination in the LGBT+ community nationwide for years, and it’s a good gesture. This person probably said, “OK, cool,” and moved on like everyone should.

But of course, a lot of people didn’t. They complained that it breaks with tradition, that there’s no brown in a rainbow, and that it singles out people of color for special treatment. Listen, folks, get over yourselves. The flag is just a symbol of an idea, not an official organization or government, and based on some of the tacky uses for the American flag I’ve seen at Pride before, even that has never bothered you. Also, I can tell you this, if there was an official governing body for LGBT+ people, I certainly would have protested to the Symbols and Signs Committee when it decided to make the Babadook an icon. Really, guys? The Babadook? I can totally relate my search for acceptance to being a monster that kills the family dog (I know it’s a joke, guys … settle down).

Many of you may have forgotten that during the ’80s, at the height of the AIDS epidemic, many Pride flags had a black stripe to represent the deaths in the community. Besides, we’ve seen so many variations of the Pride flag over the years, with stars, hearts, triangles, peace symbols, flowers, yada yada yada, what does it matter if we change it up some? If it’s really that important that you get to have your rainbow flag without the dark stripes, then fine, you can stick to the other one.

If it really irks you that people of color wanted to feel represented on a Pride flag, you need to rethink your battle plans, because this is a stupid hill to die on. People of color really have been marginalized and pushed aside in our community, and if you don’t think that’s true, I can probably guess what color skin you have - and no, spray tan is not a skin color. If giving POC their own Pride flag helps them feel welcome, then what the hell should it matter? There are flags for trans, bi, lesbian, bears, allies, leathers, bears; I mean, for God’s sake, there’s probably a flag for queer furries who are only into left-handed Jewish people. If people of color want to have their own Pride flag, let them. The fact that you’re so uptight that they want something as simple as a minor symbol of acceptance says more about you than any sort of “social justice warrior/political correctness run amok.”

US Representative Sean Patrick Maloney introduced the LGBT PRIDE Act today – a year after the deadly shooting at Orlando’s Pulse nightclub.

The bill is seeks to improve data collection on the sexual orientation and gender identity of victims of violent crimes.

Many of the 49 victims at Pulse were gay.

‘Pulse wasn’t an isolated occurrence,’ says Maloney, New York’s first openly gay member of Congress.

Sean Patrick Maloney: 'Pulse wasn’t an isolated occurrence'

‘Anti-LGBTQ violence is way too common – it happens when a transwoman of color is gunned down in the street, it happens when a young gay person is bullied into depression or takes his own life.’

Maloney, co-Chair of the Congressional LGBT Equality Caucus, adds: ‘We have to get more information on where this violence is happening and we have to be more aggressive about doing something to stop it – and this bill is a necessary first step.’

PRIDE in the title of the bill stands for Provide a Requirement to Improve Date Collection Efforts.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) already operates the National Violent Death Reporting System (NVDRS) and the bill calls on CDC to improve the process and would authorize $25 million to fund the effort.

The current system did not record any of the 49 Pulse killings as anti-LGBT murders in any data collection.

The Human Rights Campaign, the largest LGBT rights organization in the US, supports the bill.

‘The LGBTQ community, particularly transgender women of color, continue to face an epidemic of violence,’ says HRC Government Affairs Director David Stacy.

For some gay men, there’s no greater thrill than bagging a straight guy. Last fall, while speaking with registered voters for a marriage equality campaign, I met a middle-aged man who claimed to be able to walk into any straight bar in his mid-sized Midwestern city and take someone home. And then recently a guy dumped me because our relationship was too traditionally romantic; he wanted the straight-friend vibe-but with an erotic undertone.

According to a new study of Craigslist personal ads, we can now say these two fine gentleman and the young man offering a “Blo-N-Go for horny str8-dads-married” in Lake County, Illinois, are not alone. But why do so many gays have this straight guy ideal?

The study, published in the journal Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity, found one in 10 of “m4m” (or men seeking men) ads on Craigslist are looking for a male partner who does not identify as gay-straight, married, curious, bisexual or guys on the “down low.” And only about a quarter of those ads were posted by other non-gay guys. “This suggests that many of the posts are placed by gay men seeking [non-gay identifying] men, perceived by some gay men to be more masculine, dominant, or ‘straight-acting,” wrote the study’s press release.

Current analyses as to why potentially 7.5 percent of Craigslist-posting gay men search out straights range from “Of course!” and asserting internalized homophobia. But most studies like this are not trying to figure out why gay men have this attraction but what sexual behavior it leads to for HIV/STD prevention among all involved.

In an essay for Salon, Tracy Clark-Flory interviewed therapist Joe Kort, Ph. D., who has pointed to a number of reasons that gay men want to sleep with straight men, among them internalized shame and a longing for fitting the “normal” masculine mold. “(These gay men) seek out the privileged male, which is usually the straight man, and gives them the illusion that they are accepted by the type of male who usually rejects us,” Kort argued.

To be fair, he’s not alone: ever-upbeat LGBT YouTube star Davey Wavey once agreed, “Our infatuation comes from a place of self-hate.”

Other Equality Marches are also taking place this weekend around the world.

The Equality March for Unity and Pride, a protest by and for LGBTI people, is taking place on Sunday 11 June.

In January, the Women’s March took place in Washington D.C. In April, it was the People’s Climate March. And today, during Pride month, thousands are taking to the D.C. streets for the Equality March.

Since the election, there has been a rise in hate crimes, especially among LGBTI individuals. And just days before the Equality March, President Trump addressed leaders of anti-LGBTI groups.

According to the organizers, ‘The “Equality March for Unity & Pride” is a grassroots movement which will mobilize the diverse LGBTQ+ communities to peacefully and clearly address concerns about the current political landscapes and how it is contributing to the persecution and discrimination of LGBTQ+ individuals.’

Unlike typical Pride celebrations, this March is more of a protest. The organizers want to show those in political power, including the Trump administration, that they won’t stand for discrimination anymore.

‘The event is grounded in the idea that Pride started as a resistance - as a riot, if you want to call it that,’ Jose Plaza, co-chair for the Equality March and president of the Latino GLBT History Project, told Vox.

‘We need an actual revolution to breathe and walk unapologetically in our truth,’ says Catalina Velasquez, co-chair for the Equality March. ‘It’s an act of resilience. It’s an act of resistance, defiance, and also an act of revolutionary self-love.’

In 2014, a gay activist in England addressed the disproportionately high rate of drug abuse in LGB circles, asking, “Why is drug use higher in the gay community?” His answer: There are negative aspects to the LGB lifestyle that contribute to it. Now, in 2017, a gay writer has addressed “The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness,” asking why gay “marriage” has not cured gay loneliness (among other problems in the gay community), especially among gay men. His answer: “minority stress.”

Strikingly, the 2014 article in the UK’s Pink News did not mention “homophobia” once, while the 2017 article in the Huffington Post, amounting to nearly 7,000 words (and worth reading in full), mentioned it only twice. In other words, neither writer blamed these gay-related behavioral problems or social issues on “homophobia.” Rather, the fault lay with certain realities within the LGB community itself – to which my biblically-grounded, conservative friends would say, “But of course!”

Michael Hobbes, the author of the article on “The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness,” writes with complete candor, noting that, “I’m not going to pretend to be objective about any of this. I’m a perpetually single gay guy who was raised in a bright blue city by PFLAG parents. I’ve never known anyone who died of AIDS, I’ve never experienced direct discrimination and I came out of the closet into a world where marriage, a picket fence and a golden retriever were not just feasible, but expected. I’ve also been in and out of therapy more times than I’ve downloaded and deleted Grindr.”

But his experience, he claims, is hardly unique, noting that, “For years I’ve noticed the divergence between my straight friends and my gay friends. While one half of my social circle has disappeared into relationships, kids and suburbs, the other has struggled through isolation and anxiety, hard drugs and risky sex.” And this has continued, Hobbes observed, even though “the gay community has made more progress on legal and social acceptance than any other demographic group in history.”

Yet, he laments, “even as we celebrate the scale and speed of this change, the rates of depression, loneliness and substance abuse in the gay community remain stuck in the same place they’ve been for decades. Gay people are now, depending on the study, between 2 and 10 times more likely than straight people to take their own lives. We’re twice as likely to have a major depressive episode. And just like the last epidemic we lived through, the trauma appears to be concentrated among men. In a survey of gay men who recently arrived in New York City, three-quarters suffered from anxiety or depression, abused drugs or alcohol or were having risky sex-or some combination of the three.”

Historic move hailed by gay rights activists could result in sanctions from 80 million-strong global Anglican communion.

Scottish Anglicans have voted overwhelmingly in favour of allowing same-sex couples to marry in church. The historic move sets the church on a potential collision course with the global Anglican communion and risks fracture within its own ranks.

The vote at the Scottish Episcopal church general synod makes it the first Anglican church in the UK to allow same-sex weddings, with the first ceremony likely to take place this autumn.

The move, which raises the prospect of gay Christians from England, Wales and Northern Ireland heading to Scotland for a church wedding, was hailed by gay rights campaigners.

Canon law was changed to remove a doctrinal clause stating that marriage is between a man and a woman. A new conscience clause allows clergy to opt out of performing same-sex weddings.

The decision invites the possibility of sanctions by the 80 million-strong Anglican communion. Last year, the US Episcopal church was subjected to punitive measures at the end of a four-day meeting of church leaders in Canterbury. They said the US church’s acceptance of same-sex marriage represented “a fundamental departure from the faith and teaching held by the majority of our provinces on the doctrine of marriage”.

Traditionalists insist that a literal reading of the Bible means marriage must be a lifelong union of a man and a woman and that the church must resist changes in social attitudes or cultural pressure.

Minutes after the vote, Gafcon, which represents conservative Anglicans worldwide, named Andy Lines as a new “missionary bishop” for Scotland. The post is intended to offer alternative leadership for traditionalist Anglicans opposed to the synod’s decision.

Lines told a press conference that the church was “not at liberty to tamper with [God’s] words” and that he would offer help and support to those “who wish to maintain the authority of the Bible”.

Jayne Ozanne, a leading campaigner for LGBT rights within the Church of England, said: “I’m thrilled that the Scottish Episcopal church has chosen to take this brave and momentous step in enabling same-sex marriage. This has been done in a graceful and sensitive way, recognising the differing views on how we interpret scripture, and is a model for others to follow.”

Infidelity is a bitch. If we’re not careful we can let it define our worth and value in the world. “I’m not good enough to keep a man.” “I’m doing something wrong.” “He didn’t want me anymore.” All these things are totally untrue and completely destructive to our well-being. If we decide to stay with a cheater, we’re always going to be dragging a dirty puddle of self-doubt and insecurity. It’s hard to think outside ourselves when we’re in a situation like this, but we have to do it. 

Here are a few of the main reasons why we stay with cheaters:

1. You’ve come to expect it.

Just because you’re a gay couple doesn’t mean you need to expect your man to cheat. It’s not ingrained in us to be natural cheaters. If you want a monogamous relationship and express it to him as such, there are no excuses. We may have Grindr and we may have penises, but you can’t enter a relationship expecting him to cheat. You’ll be spending hours counting down the time until, sure enough, it’ll happen.

2. We think it’s our fault so we try to change ourselves instead.

Usually the first person we blame when our man starts creeping up and down the block is ourselves, not him. Only after we clear away the fog do we realize it was never our fault. Too often, people in cheating relationships keep a hold to their cheating boyfriends thinking that if they tweaked, altered, or rearranged whatever it is that’s fractured, all will be well again. Trust me, it won’t. If you do choose to move on, you need to accept the fact that it happened because it happened and there are no guarantees it won’t happen again. It wasn’t your fault, so stop blaming yourself.

3. Breakups = Loneliness.

It seems like singleness and loneliness go hand in hand, but they don’t. No one gives a crap if you’re single and believe me when I say no one is judging you. If you’ve spent all your life jumping from man to man to man, and you’ve barely had a second to think by yourself, of course you’d think being single means being “alone.” But in my opinion, choosing to stay with a man who’s giving you a fraction of his affection (and the rest to someone else) is the loneliest bubble of all. Food for thought.

4. The fear of failing…

This is a major pattern happening particularly with young guys, or, older men who new to gay relationships. The idea of not having a successful relationship from the get-go keeps us blinded from the truth sometimes. Our eagerness to prove the world wrong becomes the very thing keeping us from exploring potential endings. We want to play it out until the very last breath no matter the consequences. But the thing is, our fear of failure is rooted with how people think of us. It’s impossible for us to fail when we’re the only ones judging our decisions.

'We’re just two very regular guys, in a long term relationship. And not in our 20s anymore.'

Icelandair have released a new promotional video starring what could be the world’s most loved-up couple.

In it, gay guys Roald and Sigurþórs are seen outside Reykjavik’s iconic Hallgrímskirkja church, before seeing some exploding geysers.

The bearded twosome are then seen enjoying a sauna, before checking out the natural springs at Laugarvatn Fontana.

We aren’t in the least bit jealous, of course.

According to the people behind the ad – one of a series – it’s not just the fact the couple are gay that’s important here.

It’s the fact they represent a kind of gay male couple arguably not often represented in media and advertising, they say.

In fact, in an interview with Gay Iceland – of which Roald is editor – an Icelandair Brand Manager has explained exactly why Roald and Sigurþórs were chosen for the cute video. And why their age is important.

‘It was an obvious choice to use a loving middle-aged couple for such an ads’

Jón Skafti Kristjánssonan said: ‘Icelandair’s customers are as diverse as they are many. We think it’s only natural to reflect that in our marketing material and therefore aim for a marketing approach that reaches certain groups and is suitable for certain media. This ad portrays a cultural trip to Iceland and the group it’s aimed at is people who travel to enjoy what life has to offer with their loved ones.

Online and in the media, We have seen 2 very passionate groups when it comes to gays and lesbians(for the rest of the article, gays/lesbians/homosexuals would include bisexuals too) – those who support them and those who don’t. We see a lot of passion involved in the debate over whether they are good or bad, whether homosexuality(and bisexuality) is wrong or not.

What I find intriguing is why is this so important to us?

Personally, we don’t have any interest in finding out anyone’s sexual preferences. Even if we come to know that someone we know or work with is homosexual, we don’t see how it affects our working together.

Why do you think this is an important question? we find this difficult to understand. If you feel this is important, do let the rest of us know your reasons in comments below and enlighten us.Below, we are discussing us ideas about some of the common reasons we have heard why people think homosexuals and/or homosexuality is bad.

1. It is unnatural, against the laws of nature. 

This is probably the most oft quoted reason. Some feel that heterosex, that can produce babies, is the only natural way to have sex. I wonder how did you come to this conclusion? How do you define ‘natural’?

The way I see it, natural is what comes to someone without force or suggestion, what Maslow would have called a ‘Primary need’. If the drive to have sex with people of the same gender comes to someone, without having been forced into it or told to do so, it is probably natural.

2. Homosexuals are mentally ill, they can cause harm… 

They might have been abused as children or they are the product of dysfunctional families. Maybe they have a tendency to abuse others. They may be hetro phobic. They fear the opposite sex…

This just sounds like a fearful response to something people are not sure of. We are used to things being a certain way. When something comes up that we can’t understand, the quickest way to feel safe again is to label it as good or bad as soon as possible. I think, to some extent at least, this response also shows a certain amount of envy towards those who are showing the courage to challenge rules that don’t make them happy. To rise and speak out your will, when it goes against the flow of majority, requires courage. Most people know that this is the right way to do things but lack the courage to do it. How many of us question laid down rules when we don’t like them? Ask yourself, did you ever question the ideas of God, religion, marriage, monogamy, national pride etc.?

How do you think gays and lesbians can harm you?

What is the worst that can happen if someone close to you, maybe a friend, turns out to be a gay or a lesbian? Maybe he/she will show interest in you. Won’t you be able to just refuse and carry on? What do you do when someone of the opposite sex shows interest in you and you don’t want to accept? It may feel uncomfortable to you. But then that is a problem YOU have, not them. They are just expressing their feelings politely.

Are you afraid of soicial ridicule and ostracization? Are you afraid what will people say? There are better ways to live than just trying to conform to society, and they don’t necessarily include being constantly at war with it.

Do you think homosexuals are going to jump on you or attack you? That is just paranoia! The same that a lot of people in the Western world once had against Blacks, that high castes in Indian society have had against low castes, that my mother has against escalators…

Ask yourself these questions – How many homosexuals have you really met? How many of them you know closely? How many of them act in a way that shows mentally unstablility, apart from their sexualy preferences? How many of them have been declared by certified doctors as mentally ill? Do you feel so strongly repulsed by other mentally ill people?