Men have shorter life expectancies than women. While we will all die eventually, there are things we can do to live longer and healthier lives, which improves the overall quality of our lives and our families lives.

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), in 2003 just over one million American men died of heart disease or one of the nine other leading causes of death. That represents 80 percent of all deaths by men that year. Men are more likely than women to die from most of these causes. Luckily, because many of these causes can be prevented, men can take steps to avoid them by knowing the symptoms, by having regular checkups by a doctor or health care provider and by taking steps to live a healthier life.

Jim Obergefell and John Arthur had a love that changed America’s same-sex marriage laws forever

THIS is the story of love that changed America forever.

Jim Obergefell was a plaintiff in the US Supreme Court case that saw same-sex marriage recognised in all 50 states.
The change means same-sex marriage will be a right guaranteed by the American Constitution.
Jim and his partner John Arthur had a deep commitment and love for each other that lasted several decades.
But it was the impending loss of that love and facing the fear of death that led them on the most passionate journey a couple could ever make to be recognised under law.
As the world celebrated the historical law change, Jim expressed his joy and grief on the personal journey the couple took, in an open letter to the White House.

“My husband John died 20 months ago, so we’re unable to celebrate together the Supreme Court’s decision on the case that bears my name, Obergefell v Hodges,” he said.

By Thomas C. Weiss
Brief Synopsis: Significant associations exist between sexual orientation and covariates of disability.
"The odds of gay and bisexual men experiencing a form of disability are notably higher than for heterosexual men when sociodemographic characteristics are considered."
While America celebrates the national granting of the right to marry to members of the LGBT community, one of the issues that appears to be ignored is the fact that many people who are gay also experience forms of disabilities. The old perspective of failing to include People with Disabilities remains pervasive. When a population such as the LGBT community is fighting for its rights, it is easy to forget that we, as People with Disabilities, are very much a part of the discussion.

Great silences exist surrounding disability, to include within LGBT communities. Similarly, non-heterosexual sexualities are many times left out of the discussion entirely within disability rights organizations and elsewhere in the disabled community. 'Disability,' is a term that encompasses a wide range of sensory, physical, cognitive and psychological abilities and affects many people, both visibly and invisibly.

Gay marriage, and especially gay parenting, has been in the cross hairs in recent days.
On Jan. 6, Republican presidential hopeful Rick Santorum told a New Hampshire audience that children are better off with a father in prison than being raised in a home with lesbian parents and no father at all. And last Monday (Jan. 9), Pope Benedict called gay marriage a threat "to the future of humanity itself," citing the need for children to have heterosexual homes.
But research on families headed by gays and lesbians doesn't back up these dire assertions. In fact, in some ways, gay parents may bring talents to the table that straight parents don't.

Children raised by same-sex couples are healthier and happier than those raised by opposite-sex pairs, says a new study out of Australia, adding to the growing body of research indicating positive outcomes for these children.

Researchers at the University of Melbourne, led by Simon Crouch, surveyed 315 gay parents with a total of 500 children, up to age 17. Kids from gay-headed families scored 6 percent better, on average, than the general population on measures of general health and family cohesion, Crouch and his team reported in the journal BMC Public Health.
On other health measures, there was no difference between children of gay and straight parents.

The higher scores are likely due to lack of rigid gender roles in households led by same-sex couples, Crouch said.
“Previous research has suggested that parenting roles and work roles, and home roles within same-sex parenting families are more equitably distributed when compared to heterosexual families,” he told the Australian Broadcasting Corp.

“The traditional nurturing role is shared, it’s not one parent over another, the traditional breadwinning role is shared,” he continued. “So what this means is that people take on roles that are suited to their skill sets rather than falling into those gender stereotypes, which is mum staying home and looking after the kids and dad going out to earn money. What this leads to is a more harmonious family unit and therefore feeding on to better health and well-being.”

During a late-night monologue, the talk show host David Letterman once asked a series of questions about gay marriage.

“Who gets the bachelor party?” the comedian wondered. “Who goes downstairs in the middle of the night to check on the noise? Who forgets the anniversary? Who refuses to stop and ask for directions? And which one of you will take forever to get ready?”

The joke generated the expected laughs from the audience, but it was also a telling example of the effort to define same-sex marriage by comparing it with heterosexual marriage. While there are many similarities between gay and straight marriages, a decade of social science research shows that same-sex couples have also adapted the institution in various ways.

Gay relationships tend to be more egalitarian, in part because same-sex couples don’t divide work along traditional gender lines. Gay couples also report less conflict and more happiness in their relationships. And because gay couples often lack the support of family members, they tend to receive social support from an extended network of friends.

Now that two Supreme Court rulings have paved the way for more same-sex couples in the United States to marry, relationship researchers say there are important lessons to be learned by continuing to study both successful and unsuccessful gay marriages.

Recently, the National Institutes of Health approved a $1 million study of gay and straight couples who have been tracked for 10 years by researchers at San Diego State University. One of the largest studies of its kind, the research began after Vermont legalized same-sex civil unions in 2000. The original study focused on nearly 1,000 couples, including same-sex couples and their heterosexual married siblings. The inclusion of siblings allowed researchers to compare similarities and differences between gay couples and heterosexual couples of similar ages, family and religious backgrounds.

Today, about 750 couples remain in the cohort, and the new N.I.H. study will be a 10-year follow-up to determine how the couples have fared.

“The same-sex couples who got civil unions in Vermont in 2000 will always be the longest legal gay couples in North America,” said Esther Rothblum, a professor of women’s studies at San Diego State University and an author of the research. “There is so much to learn by following them, but we really know very little. Most of the questions people ask me about same sex marriage, my answer is, ‘We don’t know yet.’ ”

A study of modern-day love has revealed that, generally, homosexual couples are more content than heterosexual ones – and that actions really do speak louder than words

Gay couples are likely to be happier and more positive about their relationships than heterosexuals, according to a major study by the Open University published today.
However, they are less likely to be openly affectionate towards each other – holding hands in public, for instance – because they still fear attracting disapproval.

The study of 5,000 people – 50 of whom were later followed up with in-depth interviews – aimed at finding out how modern couples keep their relationships on track through life’s difficulties.
It found that simple things – like making a cup of tea in the morning and taking it up to them in bed – were the most treasured by couples as examples of intimacy rather than more dramatic gestures such as declaring “I love you”.


It was on the relative happiness of people within different types of relationships that the survey threw up the most interesting insights into modern day life, however.
“LGBQ participants (lesbian, gay, bisexual and queer) are more generally positive about and happier with the quality of their relationship and the relationship which they have with their partner” the research concludes.

“Heterosexual parents are the group least likely to be there for each other, to make ‘couple time’, to pursue shared interests, to say ‘I love you’ and to talk openly to one another.”

But it added: “Public/private boundaries of ‘couple display’ remain fraught. Many LGBQ couples, especially the younger ones, say they would not hold hands in public for fear of reprisal.”

The study, funded by the Economic and Science Research Council, found that couples without children were generally likely to be happier than parents.

In addition, mothers were the least likely group to be satisfied with their partners.
Asked who is the most important person in their life, fathers were far more likely to select their partner than their children. In comparison, 74.8 per cent of mothers with children under five selected a child as their most important person – increasing to 78 per cent for the mothers of five-to nine-year-olds.

If you are in a relationship you must know that you cannot settle for a monotonous life. Your partner is not only your best friend but also the person who is sharing a life with you. That takes honesty and in some cases more effort than others.

That means improving your sex life as well. After five years in a relationship, for example, sex is something that constantly needs fresh ideas. Your partner may seem totally committed to you in every other way besides sex.

How can you improve your sex life then?

A little spark in your love life is the answer. But of course your partner's a man and doesn't know how to communicate that. Don't blame him, blame the human genome.

These easy steps can help you reclaim your sex drive:

1. Most important: don’t panic! 5 gay years equals about 25 and you can both go through a mid-relationship crisis. Although you realise that your perfect for each other, the crises may tend to reflect on your sex life. No worries though, this is an easy fix.

2. It's time for action! Go to your local sex shop (if there isn't one close by, search for one on the net). Time for some raunchy role-play. Buy a few extremely freaky items from the kinky store. Think outside of your comfort level (i.e. swings, penis rings, flavored lubricants, maybe even chaps).

Most people who realized that their sexuality was gay or LGBT+ in their teenage years have had to experience negativity from an early age: hiding a secret from everyone, being worried about being bullied, and holding themselves back from their secret.
Yes, growing up as gay, or LGBT+ in school is very difficult. Most people reading this would also agree that it is not easy, nor a pleasant experience, but it is something that should be brought to the attention of teachers, professors, and principals alike. In a world where “the norm” is a desired status, being different can be an unnerving experience, especially for teens and pre-teens in an environment where kids can be particularly singled out and picked on for being different.

Bullying of LGBT+ children in schools

Bullying. A word that triggers strong emotions and reactions from a large group of people, and a major problem in schools.

Bullying is an experience all of its own; it can degrade even the strongest-willed, self-confident individuals down to nothing. Studies have shown that LGBT children who are bullied are twice as likely to attempt suicide. 

This is a major concern. Not only are these children being exposed to mental and physical violence, but due to this exposure, their grades and self-esteem drop significantly. 

This affects the well-being of these children not only in the short-term, but also the long-term. Harassment by individuals can lead the target to believe that school is an unsafe place to be, and in the mind of the target, it is. 

This often leads to the bullied child skipping class, and in some cases, dropping out, inevitably leading to stress down the road for the victim. Some schools offer support through guidance systems and LGBT+ groups, but that is often not enough. Schools must crack down on this unacceptable treatment of kids, through disciplinary measures to those who bully.

Understand important health issues for gay men and men who have sex with men - from sexually transmitted infections to depression - and get tips for taking charge of your health.

All men face certain health risks. However, gay men and men who have sex with men have some specific health concerns.

Although your individual risks are shaped by many factors beyond your sexual orientation and practices - including family history and age - it's important to understand common health issues for gay men and steps you can take to stay healthy.

Protect yourself from sexually transmitted infections

Men who have sex with men are at increased risk of contracting HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, as well as other sexually transmitted infections, including hepatitis, human papillomavirus (HPV), herpes simplex, gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis.

To protect yourself from sexually transmitted infections:

• Use a condom or other protection. Use a new latex or polyurethane condom every time you have sex, especially during anal sex but ideally during oral sex as well.
  Use only water-based lubricants, not petroleum jelly, hand lotion, cold cream or oils. Oil-based lubricants can weaken latex condoms and cause them to break. Don't share sex toys, and keep them safe by protecting them with a condom and cleaning them before and after every use.
• Be monogamous. Another reliable way to avoid sexually transmitted infections is to stay in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who isn't infected.
• Limit the amount of alcohol you drink, and don't use drugs. If you're under the influence, you're more likely to take sexual risks. If you choose to use injectable drugs, don't share needles.
• Know the risks associated with sexual venues. Sexual venues such as bathhouses, sex parties and the Internet can facilitate multiple sexual partnerships and anonymous sexual encounters, as well as higher risk sexual behaviors.
• Get vaccinated. Vaccinations can protect you from hepatitis A and hepatitis B, serious liver infections that can spread through sexual contact.
  Not all sexually transmitted infections are prevented by vaccines, however. Hepatitis C is not covered by any vaccine and can lead to liver failure, liver cancer and death. The HPV vaccine is available to men up to age 26. HPV is associated with anal cancer in men who have sex with men.
• Get tested and have your partner tested. Don't have unprotected sex unless you're certain you and your partner aren't infected with HIV or other sexually transmitted infections.
  Testing is important because many people don't know they're infected, and others might not be honest about their health.
  Different types of tests have a different "window period," the period of time between HIV infection and when signs of the infection show up on a test. Being tested during this time might result in a false negative. It is possible to transmit the HIV infection to someone during this period.

• Consider the drug Truvada. In July 2012, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved the use of the drug emtricitabine-tenofovir (Truvada) to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted HIV infection in those who are at high risk. Truvada is also used as an HIV treatment along with other medications.
  When used to help prevent HIV infection, Truvada is only appropriate if your doctor is certain you don't already have an HIV or hepatitis B infection. The drug must also be taken daily exactly as prescribed. And it should only be used along with other prevention strategies such as condom use every time you have sex.

A growing number of governments around the world are considering whether to grant legal recognition to same-sex marriages.
Nearly two dozen countries currently have national laws allowing gays and lesbians to marry, mostly in Europe and the Americas.
In Mexico, some jurisdictions allow same-sex couples to wed, while others do not.

The United States is sinking into the moral decay of tribal warfare. No longer can Christians state their case without a torrent of hatred coming from both atheists and those in the gay rights cabal. Any opinion that does not toe the progressive line will not be tolerated. This comes from the party of tolerance. Your identity, your lifestyle, even you very dignity will be trashed if you do not comply.

This way of thinking will soon be a coercive force in every citizens life. Much of it starts with those who speak out from within the gay community, or those who have been raised inside the gay community and have felt its corrosive way of thinking first hand.

The guarantees of equal protection rights for gays have had an impact not only on those forcing others to think the way they do, but also on some of the children in such a marriage.

By Matt Slick

It is not true that homosexual behavior harms no one. The homosexual lifestyle is highly promiscuous and brimming with disease although pro-homosexuals will try to separate the behavior from related illnesses in their attempt to demonstrate that homosexual behavior doesn't harm anyone. But the evidence doesn't support that notion.

• Homosexuals more likely to suffer from depression: "A new study in the United Kingdom has revealed that homosexuals are about 50% more likely to suffer from depression and engage in substance abuse than the rest of the population, reports Health24.com . . . the risk of suicide jumped over 200% if an individual had engaged in a homosexual lifestyle . . . the lifespan of a homosexual is on average 24 years shorter than that of a heterosexual . . . While the Health 24 article suggested that homosexuals may be pushed to substance abuse and suicide because of anti-homosexual cultural and family pressures, empirical tests have shown that there is no difference in homosexual health risk depending on the level of tolerance in a particular environment. Homosexuals in the United States and Denmark - the latter of which is acknowledged to be highly tolerant of homosexuality - both die on average in their early 50's, or in their 40's if AIDS is the cause of death. The average age for all residents in either country ranges from the mid-to-upper-70s."(onenewsnow.com/Culture/Default.aspx?id=255614)

A deep look at the fringe movement that just lost its only shred of scientific support.

By Gabriel Arana

Early in my freshman year of high school, I came home to find my mom sitting on her bed, crying. She had snooped through my e-mail and discovered a message in which I confessed to having a crush on a male classmate.

“Are you gay?” she asked. I blurted out that I was.
“I knew it, ever since you were a little boy.”

Her resignation didn’t last long. My mom is a problem solver, and the next day she handed me a stack of papers she had printed out from the Internet about reorientation, or “ex-gay,” therapy. I threw them away. I said I didn’t see how talking about myself in a therapist’s office was going to make me stop liking guys. My mother responded by asking whether I wanted a family, then posed a hypothetical: “If there were a pill you could take that would make you straight, would you take it?”

A kind woman, who would never intentionally offend another person, writes: “I love gay people, I just cannot support their gay lifestyle.”

A pastor stands at the pulpit, holding an electric cord as a prop, and warns the congregation, “Don’t mess with God’s original design. Gay sex is not natural, the parts don’t fit.”

A man thinks he needs to “protect” his family from his Christian gay brother. He tells to his brother, “Homosexuality is a perversion, and until you change, I cannot allow you in my home with my children.”

Parents send their lesbian daughter to a program they heard about at church. The visiting speaker says he is no longer gay. The newly-encouraged parents plea-fully say, “We want what is best for our daughter and we know she can change her preferences.”

About their fellow Americans, some may say: “I don’t mind gay people having civil unions. I just do not want to redefine marriage. Marriage is not a civil right, and they want special rights.” 

Thinking they are pleasing and even defending God, moderate Christians assert: “I might be fine with gay people getting together, but it’s God and the Bible that are clearly against homosexuality. We love gay people and need to tell them the truth.”

I would have made every one of these statements a decade ago.

For the most part, people that make these comments believe themselves to be considerate and sincere, and would not intentionally participate in “hate talk”. Yet, each comments is unkind, flawed, ill-informed, or ignorant.

Well-meaning, reasonable people repeat phrases like these again and again not understanding the offense and discrimination their words support and encourage. Many of the statements are rooted in ignorance or based on gay stereotypes. As an advocate for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community, in particular the Christian LGBT community, these may be some productive insights for those who no longer desire to participate in the unjust treatment of LGBT people.

The “gay lifestyle”

When communicating, it would be a major improvement to not use the term “the gay lifestyle.” What is a “gay lifestyle”? The manner in which LGBT people live their lives is as varied as the manner in which heterosexual people live theirs.

The gay and transgender people I know have “lives”, not “lifestyles”. If you feel compelled to condemn the way others express their sexuality, it might be more honest to stop using silly clichés. What many people really want to say is “I don’t like the concept and thinking about same-sex sex.” Simple, then don’t participate in it. And, if it bothers you to simply think about people having same-sex sex, easy, don’t think about it.

My “heterosexual lifestyle” is not the same as other heterosexual women. I have a life, not a lifestyle, and I conduct my own according to my faith, values and ethics. Likewise, it is also true with gay and transgender people. Grouping about 5% of the population together under one “lifestyle” umbrella is foolish.

Just as it wouldn’t be appropriate to reduce me to a sex act, the same also true for my gay and trans friends. We are each humans with beautiful diversity, that includes the way we express ourselves sexually, romantically, and emotionally.

Day 1:

Coach Brad is a magnificent, roaring Clydesdale of a man, standing 6-and-a-half feet tall, with blond hair, a golden complexion, and deep-set blue eyes. He speaks in a core-shaking baritone. His head looks like it ought to be atop a pedestal in the antiquities wing of the Met, where it could be quietly admired. His facial features are so architectural that I scribble in my notebook, “Looks part Klingon.” Then Coach Brad slaps his hands together and booms: “Excellent! You should all be taking notes, like this guy!” I haven’t a clue what he’s been talking about for the past five minutes to our timid group of misshapen nerds, but have jotted down odd words like “burpee,” “snatch,” and “jumping squat.”

Thirty days in a gay CrossFit cult By Chadwick Moore

Photography by Luke Austin-Paglialonga

Daniel Murphy of the New York something or other recently made a comment that he is against the "gay lifestyle" 100 percent. I have to tell you it made me feel a little disgusted and here is why. First, aren't athletes supposed to give it one hundred and TEN percent? And secondly, this whole gay lifestyle thing sounds so decadent and hedonistic and sinful, like a two thousand calorie dessert and here I am gay and living my boring little life, paying my children's college bills, remaining faithfully married to my husband and taking out the trash. Clearly, I have missed out on the lifestyle I was entitled to.

Somewhere along the way, I made a choice to love men, just as Daniel Murphy made a choice to become a professional athlete. We're pretty much the same. We both get undressed and shower with other men, except his lifestyle affords him fancy cars, big homes, six figure salaries and adoring fans. What do I get? One lousy, committed and loving husband, five kids and big expenses.

I'm joking, of course. I didn't make a choice to love men. I made a choice to love one man and if I'm being completely honest, it was less of a choice and more of an inescapable conclusion. Love finds us. We do not find love. But the fact remains that my lifestyle falls short of the hyped up one that Mr. Murphy and many other religious zealots would ascribe to me.

Unless of course, it is not the lifestyle they are referring to, but the man on man sex? Then, yes, I've got that in spades. It is only with one man, but there is that whole "man shall not lie with man" thing in the bible, so I guess he's got me there. But what about all of the other no-no's mentioned in the bible?

Otis wasn't the sort of boy you could take home to Mother. He was a career burglar and small-time drug-dealer who managed to look both fey and aggressive. His hair was cropped short, his leather jacket was worn like armour.
But his shirts were blindingly clean and pressed as were his impossibly tight jeans, worn to display his considerable advantages fore and aft.
He had a pierced ear and wore a gemstone earring long before it was commonplace to do so. He was of mixed Mauritian/ British parentage and quite obviously completely gay.

We met when I was teaching in an open prison. His family were middle- class and he was highly educated but would attend classes to alleviate the boredom of the daily routine.

We had several, fairly predictable interests in common - Fifties kitsch, grotesque seaside and religious ornaments, bad B-movies, medical textbooks, records by the Andrews Sisters and a love of cats.

We became very good friends and went on writing to each other after I moved to London.
The women who tended to seek out the company of gay men in the period before Seventies feminism were usually totally frustrated with a dominant male culture that harassed them sexually and denied them any intellectual space. They also included badly damaged women, those who had been sexually abused or had no self-esteem and could not cope with any of the pressures of heterosexual life. 

Although I had much in common with the fag-hag mind- set, including a longing to be androgynous, my friendships with gay men arose largely because I was bisexual and was accustomed to living amongst gay people of both genders. Although I was extremely fond of my gay men friends, however, I had never been in love with one. It had sometimes occurred to me that it might be OK if I was because although I would get furiously jealous if a male partner had other girl-friends, I was never remotely bothered by how many male lovers they might have.

Eventually Otis was released from prison and started attending art school in London. We spent more and more time together and gradually established a routine. I would go over to his studio flat in the evening and mix up the most revolting cocktails from recipes in Fifties seduction books or old copies of Playboy, criticising them in the affected jargon of wine snobs. The television would be on with the sound down and we would play show tunes from South Pacific, Porgy and Bess and children's Disney songs, singing while we got dressed, camping up the most emotional moments and snorting cocaine. Otis would put on his rose-coloured lamps and the air would fill with drifts of sequins, sparkles, powder and scent. It was the era of dress-up clubbing. Otis favoured demure Anne of Green Gables drag with rather more than a hint of underlying debauchery - fish-net stockings and jewelled eyelashes. He said the crackling of net petticoats was the most beautiful sound in the world. 

'Am I gay?' is a question that's often asked by young people.

In Britain, being gay is common. The Office of National Statistics says that there are about 480,000 gay men and women in the UK, plus around 245,000 bisexual people.

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) organisations tend to believe that the real figures are much higher than that, and they may well be right – especially as close inspection of the ONS statistics reveals that 3 per cent of the population that they surveyed did not answer the question about sexual orientation.

'Am I gay?' is a question that's often asked by young people, now there is much more openness and honesty about discussing male homosexuality and lesbianism.

Frequently asked questions (2/2)

Should I tell people that I am gay?

Coming out is the process of revealing your sexuality to other people, and it's the most popular topic that bgiok readers get in touch with me about. Coming out is a personal step that you may choose to take, to one degree or another, when you feel ready. See the dedicated coming out section for guidance.

I don't want to be gay. I feel bad about it.

Sometimes the person with the biggest issue with you being gay... is you! There are some things in life that we don't have any control over. Your sexuality is one of them. You need to work at feeling better about who you are and making the best of what life has given you: a healthy body, a powerful mind and, hopefully, many years ahead in which to have many positive and enjoyable experiences. In other words, you've got the same foundations to build from as most straight people you know.

Frequently asked questions (1/2)

What is 'being gay'? Am I gay?

A gay person is someone who is sexually attracted to members of their own gender; guys who like guys and girls who like girls. 'Gay' is a popular term for homosexual, usually used to describe gay males. A woman who is attracted to other women is known as a lesbian, though some people use the word 'gay' to describe homosexual women too. If a person is attracted to both sexes they are known as bisexual. People who are attracted to the opposite sex are heterosexual, often referred to as 'straight'.

You might hear people talk about the sexuality or the sexual orientation of a person. These terms refer to what gender a person is attracted to. Your sexual orientation might be gay, bisexual or straight. 'Sexuality' is also used as a broader term that can refer to a person's sexual behaviour and how they express themselves sexually e.g. what a person likes to do with a partner in bed. Sexuality isn't a choice. Liking girls, guys or both is simply a part of who you are, like eye colour or intelligence.

What is Sexual Orientation?
“Sexual orientation” is a term frequently used to describe a person’s romantic, emotional or sexual attraction to another person. A person attracted to another person of the same sex is said to have a homosexual orientation and may be called gay (both men and women) or lesbian. Individuals attracted to persons of the other sex are said to have a heterosexual orientation. Sexual orientation falls along a continuum and individuals who are attracted to both men and women are said to be bisexual. Sexual orientation is different from gender identity, which refers to the internal sense of whether one is male or female. Sexual orientation is a relatively new concept. In fact, although same sex behavior has always existed, the idea of a homosexual identity or a homosexual person is only about 100 years old.

The concept of sexual orientation refers to more than sexual behavior. It includes feelings as well as identity. Some individuals may identify themselves as gay lesbian or bisexual without engaging in any sexual activity. Some people believe that sexual orientation is innate and fixed; however, sexual orientation develops across a person’s lifetime. Individuals maybe become aware at different points in their lives that they are heterosexual, gay, lesbian, or bisexual.

Is Homosexuality A Mental Disorder?

No. All major professional mental health organizations have gone on record to affirm that homosexuality is not a mental disorder. In 1973 the American Psychiatric Association’s Board of Trustees removed homosexuality from its official diagnostic manual, The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Second Edition (DSM II).
The action was taken following a review of the scientific literature and consultation with experts in the field. The experts found that homosexuality does not meet the criteria to be considered a mental illness.

What causes Homosexuality/Heterosexuality/Bisexuality?

No one knows what causes heterosexuality, homosexuality, or bisexuality. Homosexuality was once thought to be the result of troubled family dynamics or faulty psychological development. Those assumptions are now understood to have been based on misinformation and prejudice. Currently there is a renewed interest in searching for biological etiologies for homosexuality. However, to date there are no replicated scientific studies supporting any specific biological etiology for homosexuality. Similarly, no specific psychosocial or family dynamic cause for homosexuality has been identified, including histories of childhood sexual abuse. Sexual abuse does not appear to be more prevalent in children who grow up to identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual, than in children who identify as heterosexual.

What is “Coming Out”?

“Coming out” is the term used to describe the experience in which a person identifies himself or herself as gay, lesbian or bisexual. Coming out is not a one-time event, but a lifelong process of identifying as gay, lesbian or bisexual to family friends and other significant members of one’s social world. Each person’s experience in coming out is unique and the process always stimulates anxiety as well as provides challenging possibilities for personal empowerment and emotional growth. There are many resources available to people coming out. See below for some of these resources.

In the general population, anal cancer is a rare disease. Few people knew about it before Farrah Fawcett made public her struggle with the illness. Among men who have sex with men (MSM), the incidence of anal cancer is significantly more prevalent and increasing annually. However, the majority of MSM's know little about the disease, have ever been tested for it, nor know that screening tests exit. Health care professionals, too, remain divided on how and whether to screen for it. In fact, a standardized screening protocol for anal cancer does not yet exist.

(illustrating image)

Each year anal cancer is diagnosed in about 2 people out of every 100,000 people in the general population. Current estimates are that HIV negative MSMs are 20 times more likely to be diagnosed with anal cancer. Their rate is about 40 cases per 100,000. HIV-positive MSMs are up to 40 times more likely to diagnosed with the disease, resulting in a rate of 80 anal cancer cases per 100,000 people.


Anal cancer is caused by the same strains of Human Papillomavirus (HPV) that cause cervical cancer in women. HPV is the most common sexually transmitted infection. There are over 100 different types of HPV, although only several strains are believed to increase the risk of cancer. Approximately 75% of all sexually active adults acquire HPV, often within the course of early adulthood, and often in the first two years of becoming sexually active and often without any symptoms.

In MSMs, it is transmitted through both protected and unprotected anal intercourse and skin-to-skin contact. Among heterosexual women, the vast majority of infections are cleared naturally by the body within a few years, usually by age 30, but this appears to be less true for MSM, where the infections are often still present in later adulthood. Again, not all HPV infections lead to cancer.
Anal HPV is present in approximately 65% of HIV negative MSMs and 95% of MSMs who are HIV positive. Although HAART (highly active antiretroviral therapy) has decreased overall mortality from HIV, it has not reduced the incidence of anal squamous cell carcinoma. And, since it is spread through sexual skin-to-skin contact, condom use only partially reduces the risk of transmission. Other factors that increase the risk of anal cancer include a high number of sex partners, alcohol, drugs and tobacco use. Although many men have no obvious symptoms, one of the most common manifestations of HPV infection is genital warts which can affect the anus, the penis and/or the peritoneum. Other possible symptoms are abnormal discharge from the anus, bleeding from the rectum and anus, itching of the anus, pain or pressure around the anus, and a sore or sores around the anus that do not heal.


Cancer of the anus, like the cervix, develops slowly, beginning with minor cell changes. For women, a simple pap smear is used to detect these cell changes in the cervix in their early stages. With regular screening and proper treatment, cervical cancer can be prevented. In fact, since cervical pap smears have become a routine part of women's health care, cervical cancer rates have dropped dramatically, from rates that resemble HIV+ MSM's anal cancer rates (80 per 100,000) to the current rate of approximately 2 per 100,000.

Being gay is something that isn't a choice, but there are ways to tell if you are gay. If you are having sexual feelings toward the same sex, if you constantly are confused about who you like and if you have some unexplained attraction, those can all be ways to tell if you are gay. It took me a long time to realize that I was gay, but I am and now I am out and proud. It's a hard road, but it's one that can be easy to spot, if you know what you are looking for.

1. Unexplained Attraction to the Same Gender as You

One of the surefire ways to tell if you are gay is if you have a lot of unexplained attraction to the same sex. This isn't a bad thing, this is something that is normal and you shouldn't try to repress it at all. If you feel attraction toward the same and opposite sex as you, that could dictate if you are bi-sexual too.

2. Constant Feelings of Guilt

When I was first realizing that I was gay, I had a lot of feelings of guilt. Guilt that I was going to disappoint my parents and upset my family. I didn't realize that these feelings of guilt could be one of the ways that I could tell if I was gay. I just thought that I was feeling guilty or depressed from events totally unrelated. If you have a nagging feeling of guilt a lot of the time, think about what sex you are attracted to.

Determining your sexual orientation can be a confusing experience, but only you can truly determine it, on your own terms. There's no test for it yet, so the most reliable method is do look at your history, your feelings, and make an educated guess. Below is some helpful information on figuring out a little more about your sexuality. Note: In this guide, the term gay has been used to include all forms of homosexuality and bisexuality, whether that be people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or pansexual.

Part 1 of 3: Things That Don't Mean You're Gay or Lesbian

1. Understand that fantasizing about members of the same sex does not necessarily mean that you are gay. 

Straight people do have the occasional "same-sex fantasy": a woman having a strange dream involving a lesbian experience, or a man wondering about what it feels like to kiss that guy in the locker room. Just fantasizing or daydreaming, however, does not necessarily mean that you were responsible for the fantasy or welcomed it.
That being said, fantasizing mostly about members of the same sex is a pretty strong indication that you lean primarily in that direction, especially if you find yourself fantasizing about the same sex often. If you only fantasize about members of your own sex, and rarely or never fantasize about members of the opposite sex, consider finding a way to experiment with members of the opposite and same sex. Though do remember it's not necessary to experiment with others to know for sure what you are.

2. Understand that having a homosexual encounter does not necessarily mean that you are gay. 

Smoking one cigarette does not mean that you are a smoker. Of course, there will always be people out there who say that smoking one cigarette does make you a smoker. Don't listen to them. What makes you a smoker, or gay, or straight, is having a history of behaving in a certain way, and using that history to predict how you'll act in the future.

Understand that you could be somewhere in between. Many people who later identify as gay have had heterosexual encounters, many of them quite satisfying. Many straight people, too, have experimented with people of the same sex, out of curiosity or attraction. One night does not define your sexual orientation.

Also be aware that choosing an orientation for yourself will not flip a switch in your brain changing everything about how you feel. You can try, but chances are you won't be very successful. Moreover, there are no rules against identifying with a different orientation at a later date. Many transgender people identify first as gay before discovering more about themselves.

If you've had an encounter with someone of your own sex and feel anxious or unsettled about it, they probably weren't the right person for you. Resist making a generalization about your orientation and stick with what you know: the person you were with wasn't right for you.

3.Understand what it means for someone to be transsexual or transgender. 

Transgender people are a smaller minority than homosexuals and most people have some misconceptions and confusion about them.

Many if not most of us have had some experience hearing about or maybe talking to a transgender woman (male to female). Some of us may have even been attracted to or kissed a trans woman. Trans women are women, just as female as any other. If you're a guy, this does not mean you are gay! In fact, you may not know if you've met a trans woman. Often transgender people are very focused on appearing like a "normal" man or woman and concealing the fact that they are trans.

On the other hand, if you find yourself attracted to the idea of woman who has male genitalia, this probably means something about your sexuality. Even this doesn't necessarily make a man homosexual or bisexual; You could be polysexual, or pansexual. Do your research! There are hundreds of sexualities and gender identities. Educate yourself on the situation if you're confused.