Thailand is a fantastic travel destination for anybody within the LGBT community. A country full of sun, fun and freedom awaits you. Before you head off to the land of smiles, there are a few things to know.
Gay Life and Culture In Thailand
Straight or gay — the distinction isn't made in Thailand as it is in the U.S. In this largely Buddhist country, sex and sexuality come without the guilt and other baggage that accompany them here. Many Thais engage in sex with both men and women, without worrying about how to label themselves.
Thailand does have a gay culture, but much of it has been created by westerners. As a visitor, looking for nightlife, for gay sex, or for gay friends, this is largely the culture you'll most readily find. Here you'll meet outgoing and friendly Asian men who are interested in meeting westerners.
This can give the impression that most Thai men who we'd think of as gay are looking for westerners. That's not the case. But those you meet will often be interested in meeting Americans.
Thai culture does not place a premium on youth in the way that western societies do. If you're over 35, you probably feel over the hill in the U.S. You can still be quite desirable in Thailand. This comes as a pleasant surprise to middle-aged and older gay Americans!
Until quite recently, the visible, public gay establishments in Thailand were virtually all commercial: bars, go-go clubs, saunas, and massage parlors. These still account for the majority of gay spots, and you won't really have seen gay Thailand until you visit a go-go boy bar. But the largest cities now have a few discos, bars, or coffeehouses that lend themselves to non-commercial encounters, as well. The largest cities have gay karaoke bars and other establishments just for local gays. The best way to find them is to ask some locals.
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Gay Life and Culture In Thailand
Straight or gay — the distinction isn't made in Thailand as it is in the U.S. In this largely Buddhist country, sex and sexuality come without the guilt and other baggage that accompany them here. Many Thais engage in sex with both men and women, without worrying about how to label themselves.
Thailand does have a gay culture, but much of it has been created by westerners. As a visitor, looking for nightlife, for gay sex, or for gay friends, this is largely the culture you'll most readily find. Here you'll meet outgoing and friendly Asian men who are interested in meeting westerners.
This can give the impression that most Thai men who we'd think of as gay are looking for westerners. That's not the case. But those you meet will often be interested in meeting Americans.
Thai culture does not place a premium on youth in the way that western societies do. If you're over 35, you probably feel over the hill in the U.S. You can still be quite desirable in Thailand. This comes as a pleasant surprise to middle-aged and older gay Americans!
Until quite recently, the visible, public gay establishments in Thailand were virtually all commercial: bars, go-go clubs, saunas, and massage parlors. These still account for the majority of gay spots, and you won't really have seen gay Thailand until you visit a go-go boy bar. But the largest cities now have a few discos, bars, or coffeehouses that lend themselves to non-commercial encounters, as well. The largest cities have gay karaoke bars and other establishments just for local gays. The best way to find them is to ask some locals.
Modesty
Public discretion continues briefly in the bedroom. "I came out of the bathroom, and my date was already under the sheets," recalls Mike, a gay American visitor to Bangkok. "I peeled off my shorts, got in with Chai — and discovered he was still wearing his t-shirt and underwear! I thought he must have lost interest somewhere along the line."
No — Chai was just being Thai. "A few kisses, a little cuddling, and that underwear was quickly gone. He turned out to be a real acrobat! We were on the floor, on the dresser, in positions I'd only dreamed of. There wasn't an inhibited bone in his body!"
Public nudity is verboten in Thailand. The country's few nude beaches are created, and largely populated, by Westerners. Even in the same-sex locker room at a gym, men often change clothes under a towel, and shower in private.
If you bring home a date, you may not see him naked before he gets under the sheets. But once things get started, anything can happen.
Well, perhaps not anything. Few Thai men are interested in S/M, B/D, water sports, or much of anything beyond vanilla sex. Many are interested in being only a top, or only a bottom. If you're versatile, you're pretty sure of having a fun and uninhibited time. If you have specialized interests or expectations, discuss them in advance to avoid disappointment all around.
Public discretion
"In America, you can say anything but you can't do it. In Thailand, you can do anything but you can't talk about it," noted one observer.
What two adults do in private is their own business in Thailand. Public displays of sexual affection, however, are considered highly inappropriate. Kissing in public is frowned upon.
This isn't an anti-gay prejudice: Heterosexual kissing is also unacceptable. In fact, it's amusing for American visitors to see two Thai men walking down the street arm-in-arm, when heterosexual Thai couples never do so. What's going on? The two men are non-sexual friends, and thus aren't crossing the line.
If you're seen walking arm-in-arm with a Thai boyfriend, people can figure out what's going on. Your boyfriend may not mind, so if he takes the initiative in this direction, go right ahead. It's better for you not to initiate any public displays, however: You could put him in the uncomfortable position of having to choose between either offending you, or acting in a way he feels in inappropriate and embarrassing.
Katoeys
Cross-dressing is far more accepted, and publicly widespread, in Thailand than in any other country. Males who cross-dress are referred to as katoeys, or ladyboys. Drag shows are popular at gay clubs, and also in many establishments catering largely to a straight clientele.
While Thais do not, by and large, make moral judgments about being gay, there remains a strong pressure to marry and have a family. Since they aren't into labeling themselves, it's common for Thai men to have predominantly same-sex relationships while in their twenties, then to marry and have kids, without feeling like they've switched from gay to straight.
An increasing number of Thai men do identify as gay. Frequently, just as in the U.S., they'll leave their hometown to get breathing room. Those in the plains and hills of the north and northeast generally move to Bangkok or Chiang-Mai. Those in Bangkok may go abroad for a few years.
Safety
Theft is rare, violence even rarer. But of course, there are no guarantees in life. It's always wise to keep valuables in the hotel safe when traveling, and not to tempt fate. Someone who came home with you only for love might reconsider if he sees a wallet on the dresser with the equivalent of a month of his wages — and realizes that to you, it's little more than enough for a night on the town.
The bars know who they hire, so taking home a bar boy creates an extra element of protection. In addition, it's common for hotels to request the ID's of overnight visitors, and your guests should be ready for this.
Public discretion continues briefly in the bedroom. "I came out of the bathroom, and my date was already under the sheets," recalls Mike, a gay American visitor to Bangkok. "I peeled off my shorts, got in with Chai — and discovered he was still wearing his t-shirt and underwear! I thought he must have lost interest somewhere along the line."
No — Chai was just being Thai. "A few kisses, a little cuddling, and that underwear was quickly gone. He turned out to be a real acrobat! We were on the floor, on the dresser, in positions I'd only dreamed of. There wasn't an inhibited bone in his body!"
Public nudity is verboten in Thailand. The country's few nude beaches are created, and largely populated, by Westerners. Even in the same-sex locker room at a gym, men often change clothes under a towel, and shower in private.
If you bring home a date, you may not see him naked before he gets under the sheets. But once things get started, anything can happen.
Well, perhaps not anything. Few Thai men are interested in S/M, B/D, water sports, or much of anything beyond vanilla sex. Many are interested in being only a top, or only a bottom. If you're versatile, you're pretty sure of having a fun and uninhibited time. If you have specialized interests or expectations, discuss them in advance to avoid disappointment all around.
Public discretion
"In America, you can say anything but you can't do it. In Thailand, you can do anything but you can't talk about it," noted one observer.
What two adults do in private is their own business in Thailand. Public displays of sexual affection, however, are considered highly inappropriate. Kissing in public is frowned upon.
This isn't an anti-gay prejudice: Heterosexual kissing is also unacceptable. In fact, it's amusing for American visitors to see two Thai men walking down the street arm-in-arm, when heterosexual Thai couples never do so. What's going on? The two men are non-sexual friends, and thus aren't crossing the line.
If you're seen walking arm-in-arm with a Thai boyfriend, people can figure out what's going on. Your boyfriend may not mind, so if he takes the initiative in this direction, go right ahead. It's better for you not to initiate any public displays, however: You could put him in the uncomfortable position of having to choose between either offending you, or acting in a way he feels in inappropriate and embarrassing.
Katoeys
Cross-dressing is far more accepted, and publicly widespread, in Thailand than in any other country. Males who cross-dress are referred to as katoeys, or ladyboys. Drag shows are popular at gay clubs, and also in many establishments catering largely to a straight clientele.
For Thais themselves
While Thais do not, by and large, make moral judgments about being gay, there remains a strong pressure to marry and have a family. Since they aren't into labeling themselves, it's common for Thai men to have predominantly same-sex relationships while in their twenties, then to marry and have kids, without feeling like they've switched from gay to straight.
An increasing number of Thai men do identify as gay. Frequently, just as in the U.S., they'll leave their hometown to get breathing room. Those in the plains and hills of the north and northeast generally move to Bangkok or Chiang-Mai. Those in Bangkok may go abroad for a few years.
Safety
Theft is rare, violence even rarer. But of course, there are no guarantees in life. It's always wise to keep valuables in the hotel safe when traveling, and not to tempt fate. Someone who came home with you only for love might reconsider if he sees a wallet on the dresser with the equivalent of a month of his wages — and realizes that to you, it's little more than enough for a night on the town.
The bars know who they hire, so taking home a bar boy creates an extra element of protection. In addition, it's common for hotels to request the ID's of overnight visitors, and your guests should be ready for this.
Tips for Travellers
This attitude directly contradicts the Buddhist ideal of openness and tolerance. This kinder attitude is the one that tourists will generally find in Thailand.
My advice for travellers would be to follow one simple rule: to respect the local customs and not to publicly draw attention to oneself. Thais are shy people, and do not like to be centre of attention, and nor do they like others to flaunt themselves publicly.
Other than that, Thailand is a very liberal place for LGBT travellers. This is a place to let your hair down and be yourself. Whatever you are looking for, from religious retreats to gay-friendly bars, from elephant riding to lazing on the beach, you will find Thailand a warm and welcoming travel destination.
Best places to go Thailand
This attitude directly contradicts the Buddhist ideal of openness and tolerance. This kinder attitude is the one that tourists will generally find in Thailand.
My advice for travellers would be to follow one simple rule: to respect the local customs and not to publicly draw attention to oneself. Thais are shy people, and do not like to be centre of attention, and nor do they like others to flaunt themselves publicly.
Other than that, Thailand is a very liberal place for LGBT travellers. This is a place to let your hair down and be yourself. Whatever you are looking for, from religious retreats to gay-friendly bars, from elephant riding to lazing on the beach, you will find Thailand a warm and welcoming travel destination.
Best places to go Thailand
Thailand is a huge country, with each destination unique and intriguing. Here is a list of the top destinations in Thailand, and tips on how you can make the most of them.
Bangkok is a fascinating metropolis of palaces, temples and bustling nightlife, bringing the old and new together. Enjoy the river cruises on Chao Phraya, the Muay Thai matches and tourist shopping area of Kao San Road. For the gay nightlife spots, head to Soi 2 to 4 in Patong, or Sukhumvit Road, Sapa Kwai and Ramkamhaeng.
Pattaya is the party beach area, easy to reach from Bangkok. There are several beaches to relax, and Dongtan Gay Beach is especially for the gay community. There are a multitude of Go Go bars (where scantily-clad ladies dance) and beer bars (where the ladies call every man who walks by ‘handsome’, while inviting them to drink more and more), and a vibrant gay scene in Boyz Town and Sunee Plaza. Attractions include the floating market, several nearby islands including Koh Samet, and Nong Nooch Gardens.
Koh Samui does not have a gay beach or gay scene as such, but it is the perfect place to visit as a couple. Relax on Chaweng Beach, lounge in luxury hotel pools, and indulge in the spas. This tropical island has a variety of activities to enjoy, such as snorkelling, kayaking and cruises.
Koh Tao is close to Koh Samui, and is a haven for diving and snorkelling. Sairee Beach is the place to be for a party. There are a few gay bars, such as the ladyboy cabaret show The Queen’s Cabaret in Sairee, and C*ck and Mocktail Bar in North Sairee.
Koh Phi Phi Islands have no gay scene but they are so chilled out that visitors have little need of one! Here you will find stunning scenery, boat trips to Maya Bay where The Beach was filmed, and time to relax on the beach.
Chiang Mai is the ancient capital of Northern Thailand. The city walls surround the old town, and the city sprawls beyond. The most gay-friendly spots can be found in the trendy Niammanhaemin and Santitham areas, towards Doi Suthep Mountain. The Rachamanka Boutique Hotel has a friendly atmosphere and a pool to meet like-minded people. Chiang Mai is the place to visit the mountains, ride an elephant, or take a cookery class.
Koh Phangan is the Full Moon Party destination. While there is no gay scene as such, plenty of LGBT people head there for the huge parties on Haad Rin Beach.
Phuket is a gem on the Andaman Sea, offering pristine beaches with crystal clear waters, and many activities. Soi Paradise is the place for LGBT travellers, offering guesthouses, Go Go bars, gay saunas, restaurants and bars. In April 2015 an extravagant gay-pride parade, based out of Soi Paradise, hit the streets of Patong. Phuket is a great base for diving and for visiting the stunning Phang Nga Bay National Park.
Krabi is known for its beautiful beaches, limestone cliffs and clear seas. Railay Beach is a fantastic place to visit for the day. Krabi and the seaside resort of Ao Nang are yet to create a gay scene, although you are likely to meet other gay travellers.
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Bangkok is a fascinating metropolis of palaces, temples and bustling nightlife, bringing the old and new together. Enjoy the river cruises on Chao Phraya, the Muay Thai matches and tourist shopping area of Kao San Road. For the gay nightlife spots, head to Soi 2 to 4 in Patong, or Sukhumvit Road, Sapa Kwai and Ramkamhaeng.
Pattaya is the party beach area, easy to reach from Bangkok. There are several beaches to relax, and Dongtan Gay Beach is especially for the gay community. There are a multitude of Go Go bars (where scantily-clad ladies dance) and beer bars (where the ladies call every man who walks by ‘handsome’, while inviting them to drink more and more), and a vibrant gay scene in Boyz Town and Sunee Plaza. Attractions include the floating market, several nearby islands including Koh Samet, and Nong Nooch Gardens.
Koh Samui does not have a gay beach or gay scene as such, but it is the perfect place to visit as a couple. Relax on Chaweng Beach, lounge in luxury hotel pools, and indulge in the spas. This tropical island has a variety of activities to enjoy, such as snorkelling, kayaking and cruises.
Koh Tao is close to Koh Samui, and is a haven for diving and snorkelling. Sairee Beach is the place to be for a party. There are a few gay bars, such as the ladyboy cabaret show The Queen’s Cabaret in Sairee, and C*ck and Mocktail Bar in North Sairee.
Koh Phi Phi Islands have no gay scene but they are so chilled out that visitors have little need of one! Here you will find stunning scenery, boat trips to Maya Bay where The Beach was filmed, and time to relax on the beach.
Chiang Mai is the ancient capital of Northern Thailand. The city walls surround the old town, and the city sprawls beyond. The most gay-friendly spots can be found in the trendy Niammanhaemin and Santitham areas, towards Doi Suthep Mountain. The Rachamanka Boutique Hotel has a friendly atmosphere and a pool to meet like-minded people. Chiang Mai is the place to visit the mountains, ride an elephant, or take a cookery class.
Koh Phangan is the Full Moon Party destination. While there is no gay scene as such, plenty of LGBT people head there for the huge parties on Haad Rin Beach.
Phuket is a gem on the Andaman Sea, offering pristine beaches with crystal clear waters, and many activities. Soi Paradise is the place for LGBT travellers, offering guesthouses, Go Go bars, gay saunas, restaurants and bars. In April 2015 an extravagant gay-pride parade, based out of Soi Paradise, hit the streets of Patong. Phuket is a great base for diving and for visiting the stunning Phang Nga Bay National Park.
Krabi is known for its beautiful beaches, limestone cliffs and clear seas. Railay Beach is a fantastic place to visit for the day. Krabi and the seaside resort of Ao Nang are yet to create a gay scene, although you are likely to meet other gay travellers.
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