Gay Lifestyle - “I don’t think there’s enough passion between us”, “I don’t think we are a complete match”, “I’m not feeling a click”, “I don’t think there’s enough chemistry on my side”, “We’re not sexually compatible”, “I’m not ready for a relationship”, “It’s not you; it’s me”, “I’d like for us to remain friends”.
Oh…the perils of dating! We’ve all been on the giving or receiving end of these statements and it never feels good either way. Sometimes nothing is ever said, and the situation just fades away causing us even more confusion. Dating can be very difficult, especially in the online environments we often find ourselves.
So how do we take care of our personal well-being in dating situations?
Here are some dating survival tips to consider:
1. Date for dating’s sake – Get rid of the expectation of finding “the one” and just date. Meet people with the intention of getting to know them and learning about who they are. Avoid getting emotionally caught up too soon. Release the pressure and expectation that this might be “the one” for the long-term.
As the song says, “Breaking up is hard to do.” Finding closure after the end of a relationship is often harder.
“Closure” is a psychological term that simply means closing the door on something or someone.
Closure means you leave the past in the past rather than dragging it out into the present again. In relationships, this means learning how to let go of that relationship and move on to another, possibly better, relationship.
There are many ways to find closure. In fact, how you find closure will depend entirely upon your personality and particular situation.
Here are the top ten ways to find closure after a relationship ends:
1. Declare out loud to a close friend that you accept that the relationship is over. Choose someone who will support you and help you stay focused on the present and future rather than dwelling on the past.
3. Find a new hobby or activity to replace the time with your ex. If you always went out on Friday nights, invite some friends over, instead, and watch movies. Or you could volunteer for a worthwhile charity.
7. Create a mantra or saying that helps you refocus. Keep telling yourself this mantra and before too long you’ll start believing it. You’ll also start acting differently as well. “I am strong and I am over him.” could be all you need to say, but it may be something more detailed like “I’m a wonderful person who is worthy of love, respect and happiness.”
9. Remove things that remind you of your ex. At some point in the future you’ll be strong enough to look at these things with fondness rather than being tugged back to the past.
- Take them off your speed dial.
- Remove photos of the two of you.
- Box up gifts they gave you.
10. If you’re feeling particularly sad over the break up, don’t hold it in. It’s natural for you to feel upset about the end of the relationship. Go ahead and cry. You may even want to write in a journal how you feel so you can get the feelings out rather than holding them in.
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Oh…the perils of dating! We’ve all been on the giving or receiving end of these statements and it never feels good either way. Sometimes nothing is ever said, and the situation just fades away causing us even more confusion. Dating can be very difficult, especially in the online environments we often find ourselves.
So how do we take care of our personal well-being in dating situations?
Here are some dating survival tips to consider:
1. Date for dating’s sake – Get rid of the expectation of finding “the one” and just date. Meet people with the intention of getting to know them and learning about who they are. Avoid getting emotionally caught up too soon. Release the pressure and expectation that this might be “the one” for the long-term.
2. Stay focused on your life – Make time to plan activities apart from dating. Remember that dating is only one aspect of your life. Do other things that bring you pleasure and balance your dating life with other important life areas – having a rich full life makes you a very attractive person overall.
3. Actions don’t necessarily speak louder than words – We’ve all been told that “actions speak louder than words” but this isn’t always so. Be wary of interpreting someone’s actions as meaning that they are into you or that they actually want a relationship with you. Some guys may say sweet things, buy you flowers or gifts, treat you to dinner, introduce you to their friends and family or initiate sex as a part of their own dating rituals. These actions may hold no specific meaning to you whatsoever.
4. Have fun – Enjoy the process of dating. Put your best self forward and have fun. You cannot control another person’s thoughts, feelings or behaviors. You also can’t control the outcome of the experience. You can allow yourself to have fun! Be lighthearted about it all – stay in the moment, enjoy
your dates and let go of your attachment to the outcome.
3. Actions don’t necessarily speak louder than words – We’ve all been told that “actions speak louder than words” but this isn’t always so. Be wary of interpreting someone’s actions as meaning that they are into you or that they actually want a relationship with you. Some guys may say sweet things, buy you flowers or gifts, treat you to dinner, introduce you to their friends and family or initiate sex as a part of their own dating rituals. These actions may hold no specific meaning to you whatsoever.
4. Have fun – Enjoy the process of dating. Put your best self forward and have fun. You cannot control another person’s thoughts, feelings or behaviors. You also can’t control the outcome of the experience. You can allow yourself to have fun! Be lighthearted about it all – stay in the moment, enjoy
your dates and let go of your attachment to the outcome.
5. Focus on your well-being – Take care of yourself every day by asking – What can I do to take care of myself today? Perhaps it’s exercising,meditating, or going out with friends or family. Do whatever is meaningful to you. Make a commitment to yourself to do something each day that makes you feel good.
6. Learn how to handle rejection – It’s never easy to be let down but don’t personalize the rejection. Recognize that everyone has their own psychological issues and relationship histories that they bring into dating situations. If someone tells you they don’t want to go forward don’t make it about you. There can be any number of reasons that caused them to back out, and they probably have absolutely nothing to do with you. If you need to, you can talk about the experience with a friend, therapist or coach to help you to quickly move on.
6. Learn how to handle rejection – It’s never easy to be let down but don’t personalize the rejection. Recognize that everyone has their own psychological issues and relationship histories that they bring into dating situations. If someone tells you they don’t want to go forward don’t make it about you. There can be any number of reasons that caused them to back out, and they probably have absolutely nothing to do with you. If you need to, you can talk about the experience with a friend, therapist or coach to help you to quickly move on.
Gay Lifestyle - Ways of Finding Closure in Your Relationship
“Closure” is a psychological term that simply means closing the door on something or someone.
Closure means you leave the past in the past rather than dragging it out into the present again. In relationships, this means learning how to let go of that relationship and move on to another, possibly better, relationship.
There are many ways to find closure. In fact, how you find closure will depend entirely upon your personality and particular situation.
Here are the top ten ways to find closure after a relationship ends:
1. Declare out loud to a close friend that you accept that the relationship is over. Choose someone who will support you and help you stay focused on the present and future rather than dwelling on the past.
2. Refocus on yourself. You may have let your own interests slide while you were involved with your prior relationship. Now’s the time to shift your focus back to yourself and what you want to do.
3. Find a new hobby or activity to replace the time with your ex. If you always went out on Friday nights, invite some friends over, instead, and watch movies. Or you could volunteer for a worthwhile charity.
4. Call the person you’re letting go and release them. Acknowledge that you still have feelings for them, the relationship isn’t healthy, and they’re free. If it’s too painful to talk with them, write them a note.
5. Take care of yourself. Eat better, take up a new exercise, and get plenty of rest. Hydration is important, too, so be sure you drink plenty of water.
6. When you start thinking about your ex, call a friend to bolster your resolve. Ask them to restate your reasons for letting them go.
6. When you start thinking about your ex, call a friend to bolster your resolve. Ask them to restate your reasons for letting them go.
7. Create a mantra or saying that helps you refocus. Keep telling yourself this mantra and before too long you’ll start believing it. You’ll also start acting differently as well. “I am strong and I am over him.” could be all you need to say, but it may be something more detailed like “I’m a wonderful person who is worthy of love, respect and happiness.”
8. Try to figure out what went wrong in the relationship. Reflect on this after you’ve distanced yourself from it for a while.
- If there were things you did that could’ve damaged the relationship, admit them.
- Try to determine the red flags that signaled the relationship was ending.
- Decide to avoid similar mistakes in future relationships.
- If there were things you did that could’ve damaged the relationship, admit them.
- Try to determine the red flags that signaled the relationship was ending.
- Decide to avoid similar mistakes in future relationships.
9. Remove things that remind you of your ex. At some point in the future you’ll be strong enough to look at these things with fondness rather than being tugged back to the past.
- Take them off your speed dial.
- Remove photos of the two of you.
- Box up gifts they gave you.
10. If you’re feeling particularly sad over the break up, don’t hold it in. It’s natural for you to feel upset about the end of the relationship. Go ahead and cry. You may even want to write in a journal how you feel so you can get the feelings out rather than holding them in.
If you enjoyed this article, please use the buttons below to share it on social media. Thanks all friends for readding and share with me!
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