I have to say that it still boggles my mind when a gay guy refuses to bottom his entire life. Sometimes in life you need to broaden your horizons-there are more flavors in the bucket than vanilla.

When I came out of the closet, I came out a bottom honey. I happened to have a keen interest right from the get go. Not all guys are going to be like me and that’s fine. I’ve even accepted the fact that not all men’s bodies are built to bottom, but at least they’ll try.

It’s hard for me to take anyone seriously when they claim that bottoming is “awful” or “painful” or “not my thing” when they’ve: a) never tried it, or b) only felt the tip and gave up completely after that. That would be like someone saying they hate chocolate when they’ve only smelled and tasted, but never swallowed.

Young gay guys who’ve never bottomed associate it as something feminine or emasculating. When you’re 20, you’re cocky and overdosing on youth and beauty; you want to hold onto as much as you can for as long as you can hold it, so it’s quite easy to say you’re never going to bottom. At this age you probably will find a lot of eager bottoms to please you anyway, but when is the “ah-ha” moment?

In order to bottom, do you need to meet a man you’re willing to give it up to?

Does it require an innate interest?

Do you have to force yourself to acquire a liking for it?

When is the moment a self-labeled “total top” chooses to experiment? The fact that we as gay men have a choice in the matter (top vs. bottom) can limit our experience if we let it.

I used to believe I was only as strong as my friends were. In high school, I surrounded myself with people I knew would get me into places – parties, bars, secret lunches. Being with a strong group made me feel stronger, but it seems like everyone today is sort of confused by what strong actually means.

The gay community is filled with cliques, just as it is in other communities. I know I’ve had the same close friends for a long, long time, and it’s only recently I’ve allowed myself to receive the companionship of others. Nowadays, friends come with an unwritten contract – be loyal to me and I’ll be loyal to you. But in today’s world, everyone wants to feel like the life of the party. And in order to do that, we have to migrate from clique to clique, sometimes leaving our oldest friends feeling neglected.

We all like to think that human beings are better than other animals because we’ve been able to create societies, think critically, and change the way our world runs. It’s true we’ve accomplished so much during our reign of the earth thus far, but deep down we’re still animals. And our instinct is to hunt.

Human beings are built to search for something. Whether it’s for meaning, for food or for sex, our disposition requires us to find something to do with our freethinking minds. The way we hunt and search is different than how we used to.

The need to survive is still with us, but we no longer have to worry about going extinct. Instead, we’ve used these senses and applied them to a socially crafted construct – a social ladder on which to climb. Gadgets have made it convenient to tap into human cravings, sex being at the top of the list. We might think we’re the cream of the crop, but at the end of the day we’re animals with smart phones.

Men crave sex, that’s the reality. But when we’re given a tool that helps us achieve it with little effort, it takes away a sense of satisfaction afterwards. We might not know it because, after all, we seem to be getting what we want; but for most of the guys out there relying on hookup apps or hookup etiquette to feed their sexual appetite, there is an invisible price being paid.

I’m not going to lie and say I haven’t used hookup apps. I have. Hooking up isn’t a bad thing, don’t get me wrong. But even you have to admit that too much of it builds a mental habit. With most young people nowadays using hookup apps to achieve instant gratification, how are we ever going to learn the importance of patience?

Nicholas Coppola was stripped of his church duties when he married his husband in New York. Now he wants the Pope to meet with LGBTI families and listen to their concerns

A faithful parishioner of St. Anthony Roman Catholic Church in Oceanside, New York, has teamed up with media advocacy organization GLAAD to campaign for Pope Francis to sit down with gay families when he visits the US later this month.

Nicholas Coppola has a particular interest in persuading the Pope to take speak out on LGBT issues. The devout Catholic was stripped of his many church duties – including altar service, helping bereaved families to plan funerals and visiting sick parishioners – after he married his husband.

One puff, two puffs, three puffs… YASS!

What is it about marijuana that makes everything interesting? You see the intentions of people, the fabulousness in the air as you feel it brush beneath your arms, the complexities of food as you taste it in every bite – it heightens your senses to the point where you feel like you truly “get” what it’s all about. Having sex while you’re high on pot is pretty much the same idea, and believe it or not, it’s supported by scientific studies.