How The Gay Hookup Culture Is Killing The Beauty Of Dating

We all like to think that human beings are better than other animals because we’ve been able to create societies, think critically, and change the way our world runs. It’s true we’ve accomplished so much during our reign of the earth thus far, but deep down we’re still animals. And our instinct is to hunt.

Human beings are built to search for something. Whether it’s for meaning, for food or for sex, our disposition requires us to find something to do with our freethinking minds. The way we hunt and search is different than how we used to.

The need to survive is still with us, but we no longer have to worry about going extinct. Instead, we’ve used these senses and applied them to a socially crafted construct – a social ladder on which to climb. Gadgets have made it convenient to tap into human cravings, sex being at the top of the list. We might think we’re the cream of the crop, but at the end of the day we’re animals with smart phones.

Men crave sex, that’s the reality. But when we’re given a tool that helps us achieve it with little effort, it takes away a sense of satisfaction afterwards. We might not know it because, after all, we seem to be getting what we want; but for most of the guys out there relying on hookup apps or hookup etiquette to feed their sexual appetite, there is an invisible price being paid.

I’m not going to lie and say I haven’t used hookup apps. I have. Hooking up isn’t a bad thing, don’t get me wrong. But even you have to admit that too much of it builds a mental habit. With most young people nowadays using hookup apps to achieve instant gratification, how are we ever going to learn the importance of patience?

I know what it’s like to be sucked into a recurring habit so deeply that I can’t help but transfer this etiquette towards a man I actually would like to get to know on a deeper level.

There’s an expectation now that wasn’t there before. When we find something worth fighting against the habit, it’s difficult to figure out how. Our instinct is to go back to one-night stand etiquette: maybe share a few laughs, have sex, and maybe have them spend the night only tomaybe text or call them afterwards. The hookup culture – gay and straight alike – has turned into a lifestyle. Is this really what our generation will be remembered for?

Hooking up was much better without smart phones because it delayed our need to turn it into habit. It wasn’t around us all the time in our hands, laptops, tablets. Gay men have always hooked up, but there’s something to be said about the constant availability we’ve forced it to be. When we’re around anything 24/7 our brains can’t help but trick us into thinking this is what reality is now.

Hooking up is never going to go away because it’s what our biology demands us to do, but we can’t kid ourselves into thinking that it doesn’t effect our perceptions on men or dating.

We’re all different. While some might be able to push passed it, there are others who are too weak to give it up. No matter where you lie on the spectrum, you can’t deny the way your brain works. It will always act the way you train to act.

Source: gayguys