In this technological age, cyber relationships have become a normal thing to hear about. With most of the world being connected on social media, gay guys especially have developed their own online personalities. Everything we are and everything we do becomes data. It was just a matter of time before guys around the globe found each other, but can online boyfriends truly last?
As someone who finds it hard to be in a long distance relationship, I can’t imagine what it’s like being separated by cyber space with only pictures and instant messaging to connect us. But this generation is used to having everything digital, even love. You’d be surprised how many gay guys I’ve spoken with who claim to have fallen in love with a man through his profile alone.
There have been countless stories of “catfishing,” a term used when a person sets up a fake profile and starts a romantic relationship with someone. But despite these numbers, I’ve also known many people who have had successful cyber relationships.
One of them happens to be a good friend of mine who met her Polish fiance on Instagram. Are we entering a new age of cyber love or have we become desperate love-seekers eager to find love anywhere we can?
I have to admit… online boyfriends do seem practical. They offer us something most physical boyfriends don’t by making emotional bonding more important than sex. In most of the relationships I’ve been in, sex was one of the top priorities. When two men are in a relationship it’s obvious that our bodies become a major source of bonding. This is impossible to achieve when you’re separated by a state or country.
Even if two people have sex over Skype or Facetime, the line of separation seems to be more divisive than meets the eye. Masturbating and touching yourself to a screen, though arousing, can turn into a mental habit. The idea of “meeting” becomes terrifying after a while, especially when all the information you know about him has been two-dimensional up to that point.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge supporter of online dating. Websites like OneGoodLove make it possible for gay guys to find each other amidst such crowded places, but isn’t it only supposed to be a vessel? Online dating should be the springboard towards finding the man of your dreams. Eventually there comes a time when the fantasy should meet reality, but sadly there are thousands of gay couples who’ve only known their partner via cyber space.
In order to have a successful online boyfriend, you have to be willing to sacrifice security. Two humans can successfully converse through the countless number of gadgets we have nowadays, but there’s a physiological existence that comes with having a man next to you in bed. He’s real, authentic and tangible. Keeping him inside your computer screen tricks you into thinking he’s another app.
Personally, I don’t want a “boyfriend app.” I’d rather have the real thing. Though I’m incredibly open to various methods of finding one, even the tech route, it’s only meant to act as a bridge to carry me across the other side. There are many ways of finding love, but the whole point of having a boyfriend is to be there for each other physically as well as emotionally.
Even though I’d rather hold a man’s hand than my laptop or Android, I don’t blame other gay guys for continuing their cyber relationships. After all, it is the 21st century. Who knows where the world is headed. Maybe someday we’ll all have boyfriend apps in the very very very distant future.
As someone who finds it hard to be in a long distance relationship, I can’t imagine what it’s like being separated by cyber space with only pictures and instant messaging to connect us. But this generation is used to having everything digital, even love. You’d be surprised how many gay guys I’ve spoken with who claim to have fallen in love with a man through his profile alone.
There have been countless stories of “catfishing,” a term used when a person sets up a fake profile and starts a romantic relationship with someone. But despite these numbers, I’ve also known many people who have had successful cyber relationships.
One of them happens to be a good friend of mine who met her Polish fiance on Instagram. Are we entering a new age of cyber love or have we become desperate love-seekers eager to find love anywhere we can?
I have to admit… online boyfriends do seem practical. They offer us something most physical boyfriends don’t by making emotional bonding more important than sex. In most of the relationships I’ve been in, sex was one of the top priorities. When two men are in a relationship it’s obvious that our bodies become a major source of bonding. This is impossible to achieve when you’re separated by a state or country.
Even if two people have sex over Skype or Facetime, the line of separation seems to be more divisive than meets the eye. Masturbating and touching yourself to a screen, though arousing, can turn into a mental habit. The idea of “meeting” becomes terrifying after a while, especially when all the information you know about him has been two-dimensional up to that point.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge supporter of online dating. Websites like OneGoodLove make it possible for gay guys to find each other amidst such crowded places, but isn’t it only supposed to be a vessel? Online dating should be the springboard towards finding the man of your dreams. Eventually there comes a time when the fantasy should meet reality, but sadly there are thousands of gay couples who’ve only known their partner via cyber space.
In order to have a successful online boyfriend, you have to be willing to sacrifice security. Two humans can successfully converse through the countless number of gadgets we have nowadays, but there’s a physiological existence that comes with having a man next to you in bed. He’s real, authentic and tangible. Keeping him inside your computer screen tricks you into thinking he’s another app.
Personally, I don’t want a “boyfriend app.” I’d rather have the real thing. Though I’m incredibly open to various methods of finding one, even the tech route, it’s only meant to act as a bridge to carry me across the other side. There are many ways of finding love, but the whole point of having a boyfriend is to be there for each other physically as well as emotionally.
Even though I’d rather hold a man’s hand than my laptop or Android, I don’t blame other gay guys for continuing their cyber relationships. After all, it is the 21st century. Who knows where the world is headed. Maybe someday we’ll all have boyfriend apps in the very very very distant future.
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