6 Ways To Find True Love This Week

The first step could be the easiest (or most difficult) step you’ll ever take in your journey of connecting with your soulmate

Try as you might to defy cultural pressure and social expectations, it’s nigh on impossible to feel the slightest tinge of disappointment – or envy or rage – if you don’t have a date on February 14. And God help you if you’re scrambling to organise one via social media or dating apps at this late stage.

Instead of chasing fleeting moments, however, why not build a foundation that will create long-term satisfaction? Rather than taking a lackadaisical approach with swiped-right dates, consider turning yourself into the right one so that you can find the right one. And we’re here to help you become that Special Someone.

Violet Lim, co-founder of Lunch Actually, a matchmaking agency, has been connecting individuals for more than 13 years. In all her time of taking singles off the market, she noticed a startling trend (that was backed up by a survey her agency conducted): the number one problem that prevents guys from becoming attached is “a lack of confidence”. “Ladies are looking for guys that have a plan – someone who knows where he’s going; has ambitions; someone she can look up to or respect,” Lim says. “Some guys come across as indecisive or unambitious, and that’s a big put-off for ladies.”

Here, Lim shares six of her best tips that oughta help you find true love this week. Maybe it’ll take longer than that, maybe you’ll need much less time. But remember: don’t blame it on the ladies you date, on society at large, on your naggy parents, or whomever’s most convenient. It all starts with you.

1. Strive To Be the Best Version of Yourself

“When your love life is not going as well as you hope it will be, it’s easy to be discouraged and to start thinking that there must be something wrong with you. Whenever you meet someone new, you’ll tell yourself things like ‘of course she’s taken’ or ‘she’s out of my league’, and it’s a downward spiral from there. You must consciously choose to stop this thought process.

“Believe in your own strengths and qualities, and practice them in your everyday life. Do this simple exercise: write down the good traits about yourself. Then, objectively write down things you can improve on as well; if you’re unsure, ask a close friend what you can improve on, in terms of your looks and personality.

“Strive to believe that you are loveable, and that you will find someone who will love you. This is the first step towards finding someone.

“Remember, just as you’re choosing others, the women or gay will be choosing you too.”

2. Go On a Date At Least Once a Month

“The most important thing you can do for your love life is to actively pursue a chance at love.

“Whenever you meet someone you’d like to date, whether it’s at a singles’ event or via your friends and family, be bold enough to approach them and strike up a conversation. Don’t be afraid of rejection, because everybody has experienced rejection – even the best-looking person you can think of.

“Change your mindset from ‘being afraid of being rejected’ to ‘I acknowledge that rejection is normal because not everybody has to love us’.”

“Every relationship starts with a simple introduction.”

3. Think About Your Wants vs Needs

“Every man has their dream woman and preferences. It’s normal, but problems often occur when men expect their partner to fulfil every requirement they have in a dream woman.

“Your most ideal dream woman is called a dream woman for a reason – she/he doesn’t exist in real life. No one woman oe one gay will be able to be live up to the dream woman/gay in your head. It’s better to have a small list of criteria that you know is essential (such as shared life goals), and to be ambivalent about the rest (such as her body size, height or how long her hair is). Because, ultimately, what can an extra 5cm of hair length do to ensure a lasting relationship?

“And, if your first impression of someone isn’t that great, don’t write them off immediately. At the very least, everyone deserves a second chance. Few marriages are the result of love at first sight. Most of the time, it will take a few dates for both parties to get to know each other.”

4. Put Yourself Out There More Often

“Introverts have their own charms. However, being an introvert can also stop you from finding love. It’s convenient to tell yourself that you’re too ‘shy’ and ‘introverted’ to find love, when, in reality, these are just excuses for your laziness and fear to actually go out there and find love.

“Nobody is one-dimensional. A person is more than just one trait. Whether it’s a cup of coffee by yourself in a café, going out with friends, or making plans to hang out after work, it’s vital that you put yourself out there and constantly meet people. It’s how you will meet your girlfriend/gayfriend.”

5. Learn A New Skill

“One of the easiest ways to meet new people is to join one of the numerous classes available around town. Why not join a cooking class that’s almost guaranteed to be filled with more women? Or why not take a language class and bond with your fellow classmates over learning a new language?

“Life is a learning journey, and the more you learn, the more attractive you will seem to the opposite gender – no woman/gay will object to a man who knows how to make the perfect meal! As a bonus, you’ll also get to meet many people this way, which will help you towards your goal of getting a girlfriend/gayfriend.”

6. Let Go Of the Women In Your Past

“Thinking of the old days and reminiscing about the past is something we all do. However, if you’re thinking about women in your past wistfully or with anger, you’re allowing these women more control than they should have over your present.

“If you find yourself meeting a new woman/gay only to compare her to other women in your past, this will be unfair to both you and her. Of course, any new person won’t compare to the long history that you’ve had with your past girlfriends/gayfriend – so why even try? You’ll only end up sabotaging any new relationship that you have.

“So, stop comparing and, truly, let go of the past. Accept that, to start new, you must be ready to turn over a new leaf, and give that new person a fair chance. The sooner you can achieve this, the likelier it will be for you to get a girlfriend/gayfriend.”