Top 10 misconceptions about gay surrogacy in the UK

SPONSORED: Robert McCaffrey of London Women’s Clinic highlights the most common myths around surrogacy in Britain

Myth 1: That it is illegal

It isn’t illegal in the UK and the confusion seems to arise because it is against the law to advertise for a surrogate or for a surrogate to advertise their services.

It is also against the law for an agency to engage in pairing couples for a fee.

The good news is that a host of volunteer organizations and online networks have sprung up to help intended parents and surrogates connect in a safe and secure environment.

Surrogacy UK and COTS are two such organizations that are great places to start. You can also look to non-profit-making organizations such as Brilliant Beginnings for help and advice.

Myth 2: The surrogate is the biological mother

This doesn’t have to be the case. Although she will carry the baby in her womb for the full nine months, biologically speaking, the child can be made from a specially selected donor eggcombined with sperm.

Her DNA, her eggs and her genetic history can be circumvented. This would allow you to use a surrogate who is ready and willing to help, combined with the features from a donor eggs that most suit the family unit you are trying to create.

In the case of a gay couple where both men are tall with brown eyes but the surrogate is short and blonde the couple could select a donor egg (from a tall brown eyed woman) that is more likely to produce a child in keeping with their features rather than the surrogate.

Myth 3: The surrogate is the legal mother

This is more confusing because at the point of birth under our current legal framework the surrogate is the legal mother of the child and her partner (unless he or she has explicitly stated to the contrary) will be noted as the other parent.

So, legally speaking, at the point of birth the surrogate is the legal mother, yes. The intended parents must then apply through the courts for a ‘parental order’ which will change the official parental status of the child.

Myth 4: The surrogates often change their mind and keep the baby

According to Natalie Gamble of Natalie Gamble Associates although this is the fear of many intended parents cases of this are actually very rare.

If the correct vetting has been done before the process is entered into and the surrogate has received counseling, then there should be little likelihood of a sudden change in behavior and intent.

Myth 5: I have a surrogacy agreement in place – that is legal binding, right?

Wrong. In the UK this is not the case and should a dispute arise, the courts will focus on what is in the best interests of the child rather than your informal agreement.

This is not to say you shouldn’t bother with a surrogacy agreement. They are in fact, very helpful in establishing the parameters and outcomes the intended parents and the surrogate have in mind as well as bringing up key points that need to be discussed.

Although not legally binding the court may find such document helpful in understanding the parties involved, if a dispute happens to arise.

Myth 6: Surrogates are in it for the money

When you meet or speak to surrogates you will quickly realize this is simply not the case. Most surrogates are driven by a desire to help another person and/or set an example of selfless behavior for their own children.

They will expect to be respected by the intended parents rather than treated like a human incubator but the ‘expenses payment’ will not be a determining factor in choosing one set of intended parent over another. That decision is likely to come down do the rapport that develops.

Myth 7: Single men can’t use surrogates or apply for parental orders

This was the case but law is changing. At present a single dad cannot apply for a parental order but the government is currently considering how to change this law after Natalie Gamble Associates brought a case saying the law as it stood breaches the human rights of single parents.

In the meantime, fathers can begin the process of checking and storing their sperm in the expectation that by time their gametes pass through the legal quarantine period they will be viable for use after the change in law.

Myth 8: It’s easbroaier to go ad and find a surrogate

This entirely depends on your circumstances and where in the world you go. There are many instances where Intended parents have had to stay abroad for a prolonged period after the birth while administrate matters are resolved.

In the US this can be 1 to 3 weeks whereas in India it can be as much 4 -5 months. India, in fact, is currently trying to ban commercial surrogacy.

Parents should be prepared to have an extended stay abroad if they choose this option and always research the relevant local laws.

Myth 9: A fertility clinic will help you find a surrogate

A fertility clinic is legally unable to help you in this respect as this might be interpreted as ‘commercial surrogacy arrangement’ which is not allowed.

Only non-profit-making organizations are permitted to provide intended parents with a matching service and even they have strict guidelines they have to follow.

However, assuming you have used donor eggs, your chosen clinic will perform the embryo implantation procedure and help ensure the correct legal documentation is completed.

Myth 10: Surrogacy laws are set in stone

Thankfully this is not the case and the British legal system is able to adapt to the changing needs of the British public.

Every year cases are brought before the high court that question the status of existing laws and compel the government to consider changes and update.

In recent years the government has expressed that it is considering how to change and update some of laws in this area but has yet to offer a timeline. The good news is that they are listening and change is possible.

Source: gaystarnews.com