Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Why Big Hairy Men Are The Sexiest Kind Of Men?

When it comes to grooming, men have followed the lead of women in recent years, and opted for a hair free body.

Lady lawns are increasingly manicured and man rugs ever-dwindling.

There is no shame in a man admitting to waxing or shaving these days, preferring a polished torso to a hairy chest.




1. What a pity.

Nothing wrong with a bit of a tidy up but men stripping themselves of all masculinity completely seems a waste. Give me a rug over a smooth chest any day of the week.

2. I love dogs so…



The best dog I ever owned was a pit bull; he was huge, unfathomably strong, kind, and loyal. There’s something completely adorable about a creature that seems so mean and powerful; but is actually incredibly sweet on the inside. Honestly, I’d rather not open conversation about sex with a comparison between men and dogs- but, hear me out; the reason I love pit bulls is the essentially same reason why many women and gay men love hairy, husky dudes.

3. Our babies tho.


Besides, I don’t think I can even help it, guys! It’s my ovaries talking. There’s a primal attraction to a whiskered man that physically takes up a lot of space in the world- and that instinctual process goes something like this: “Ooga chakka, this man can put babies inside me! Those babies will grow up to be big and strong! Impregnate Me, Big Boy!”

4. Something to hold on to

When I think of my dream man- he’s strong, kind and patient, he’s good with his hands and gets shit done. He doesn’t need to be rich or fancy, and when I imagine a man that embodies those stereotypes- I like to think of him being.. a little bit refrigerator like. And covered in a thick down of hair. And probably tattoos as well. Besides, having something big to hold onto is super sexy and comforting. I don’t NEED protecting or to be looked after, but it’s nice to feel that if I wanted that; the option is there. I’m definitely guilty of some masculine fetishization here, and as a feminist artist who actively rebels against societal gender expectations, the problematic nature of my double standard feels a little icky. Icky, but sexy. But like with most fetishes- it’s the complicated ones that are the sexiest.




5. Me Tarzan

I want to date a man not a plastic doll. Waxing, shaving, plucking bleaching, toning, flexing, oiling – it’s all too much.

Unlike over- groomers, hairy men don’t look like they are about to embark on some bizarre S&M game involving a tub of margarine – they look like real men who have more important things to think about than waxing their ball-bags.

6. Fit men are cool too, but

I’m not discounting the fit, well groomed men- they’re attractive in their own way too; but they get a tone of public accolades everyday- so I’d want to give a shout out to the Hairy, Hefty man; because I know I’m not the only one who feels like this. There’s lots of flavors to buffet. Some of us prefer meat.

7. All or nothing

The problem with going hair-free is that you’ve got to be all or nothing. There is no point waxing your chest or back if you’re not going to finish the job properly and give your crack and sack a once over too.

And from there – pubes stopping half way down your legs? Grading with clippers depending on the density? Urgg, it’s a minefield.

8. Hot sex

Here’s the science bit – hair growth is determined by hormones, in particular testosterone, which contributes towards a man’s fat distribution, muscle strength and sex drive.

Also known as – the hairier the chest the better the sex. Get in.

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