Seduction is a powerful thing. We all do it. Whether you’re at the gym checking out the dude in his jocks or in the supermarket inspecting his backside, the art of seduction is constantly being played. But if you’re trying to seduce a man who likes boobs, you need to change your strategy ever so slightly.
Say what you will about the spectrum of sexuality, in my experience I’ve learned that no one (and I mean, no one) is 100% anything. I’m as gay as they come, but that hasn’t stopped me from fooling around with a few girls after some cocktails and puffs of Mother Nature. But for a gay guy to seduce a super masculine straight guy, it has to be subtle. I’ll share you some of my tactics if you care to hear them…
Warning: Do Not go flirting with every straight guy you see. While my points are meant to be fun and educational, they’re not a free invite to go messing with the heads of innocent straighties everywhere. Don’t be a creep.
6. Your face cannot read: “I want s.e.x.”
How many times has a creepy gay or bi man flirted with you and the second he utters his first word, you know he’s making a sexual advance. It’s such a turn off, right? Then why would you assume being sexually forward is the way to go? Trust me, it’s not.
A straight guy should never, ever, under any circumstances, know that he’s being seduced – that’s the art of all seduction, whether you’re gay or straight. The second he feels like you’re trying to get in his pants, he’s going to be extremely turned off and freak out, leading him to believe that all gay guys want to get in his pants – please, we don’t need any more of that stigma attached to us.
It has to come from a very friendly place. Genuinely smile, happily approach him with enthusiasm (not lust), keep a poker face that reads, “I just want to get to know you, bro.” It’s not going to happen in an instant. You need to let it build. But you’re never going to be welcome if the first glance you send to him is an “I want to f*ck you” stare.
7. Edge his comfort zone without being aggressive.
I was in the grocery store last week doing my regular shopping ritual when around the corner turned the most gorgeous dude I’d ever seen – picture Ryan Gossling meets Jake Gyllenhaal. He was with his girlfriend, but that didn’t matter – guys always enjoy a little flattery.
I found him again in the produce aisle where he told his girlfriend to fetch some carrots, which were on the other side of the section. I found my opportunity. I was at a good distance (about twenty-five feet) when our eyes met. I kept contact and smiled for about three seconds longer than a normal stranger would. I saw him fidget for a second, then relax into his body, then smile back – his lips shivering in an adorable fluster.
Nothing wrong or aggressive happened. A man saw another man, and smiled. That’s it. About ten minutes later, I saw them both at checkout. When I grabbed my bag to turn and leave, I looked at him again. This time he was already staring at me – I smiled and he smiled back. He knew I was flirting with him, and, most importantly, he didn’t care. In fact, he was flattered. But a seed was planted. I edged his comfort zone a tad without being too forward or pushy (a mistake most gay guys make). The girlfriend had no idea and no harm was done, but I managed to succeed in mastering the first step of subtle seduction.
Say what you will about the spectrum of sexuality, in my experience I’ve learned that no one (and I mean, no one) is 100% anything. I’m as gay as they come, but that hasn’t stopped me from fooling around with a few girls after some cocktails and puffs of Mother Nature. But for a gay guy to seduce a super masculine straight guy, it has to be subtle. I’ll share you some of my tactics if you care to hear them…
Warning: Do Not go flirting with every straight guy you see. While my points are meant to be fun and educational, they’re not a free invite to go messing with the heads of innocent straighties everywhere. Don’t be a creep.
1. Let him come to you.
Anyone who’s randomly found himself inside the mouth of a sexy stallion in a wet sauna knows what I’m talking about. It’s all about giving him the space to think about it; being the model or catalyst to an opportunity, if you will. Once you make it clear that you are down for whatever, you are unconsciously making him want to hunt you – and it’s easy because he doesn’t need to play any kind of social game, or cat and mouse tactic, like he would do for a woman. It’s all about the physicality of getting off, which is easy to achieve once you both are aware that you’re down.
Anyone who’s randomly found himself inside the mouth of a sexy stallion in a wet sauna knows what I’m talking about. It’s all about giving him the space to think about it; being the model or catalyst to an opportunity, if you will. Once you make it clear that you are down for whatever, you are unconsciously making him want to hunt you – and it’s easy because he doesn’t need to play any kind of social game, or cat and mouse tactic, like he would do for a woman. It’s all about the physicality of getting off, which is easy to achieve once you both are aware that you’re down.
2. You have to plant a seed.
A straight guy is not going to be assertive with you, ever. If he is, he’s definitely not straight to begin with. The main principle of seduction is planting a seed. In a case where you’re trying to get the attention of a heterosexual man, you need to be the assertive one. Not him. It’s all about stimulating his fantasies without blatantly saying it.
Think of it as showing, not saying. You can say you’re athletic, or adventurous, or funny, or spontaneous all you want; but it’s the showing that really proves your labels to be true, right? It’s the same idea. Don’t straight out tell him you’re interested or intrigued by his biceps, show it – let him catch you taking a sneak peek: “Damn I need to get your workout program.” Lift your shirt and wipe off some sweat from your upper lip so he can see your abs. Take out the chapstick and give yourself another layer so he can see how soft your lips are – it’s all in the show.
3. You need to speak the same body language.
Now I’m not the most masculine dude out there, that’s obvious. I hate to say it, but straight guys are often not going to flirt with a gay guy who reminds him of his ex-girlfriend. The fantasies don’t lie in that realm – they lie with guys who act like his bros. This is where the language should come to play.
Stand straight with an aligned spine, both feet shoulder length apart, play it cool, don’t get too high in your vocal pitch. All in all, be ambiguous. This has nothing to do with masculine vs. feminine (I’ve known many feminine straight boys). It has to do with being mysterious, a blank slate. This kind of air about you will keep him wondering, which will eventually send him wandering.
4. Horseplay is straight man’s form of flirting.
This lesson happened in high school. I ran cross-country and shared a locker with one of the hottest guys in town: jockish, blonde, legs and thighs for days. He loved to be goofy, as did I. We got a long fine. I knew he was straight – even then I was extremely empathic, which helped my gaydar like you wouldn’t believe.
We slapped each other with towels, we shoved each other in lockers, and we spanked each other as a “joke” after we finished our meets. I realized that straight guys are constantly “flirting” with each other all the time right under their girlfriend’s nose. When a man is secretly interested or fantasizing about another dude, he has the freedom to touch and grope as much as wants – so long as it’s considered “horseplay.”
I used this to my advantage, honey. We roughhoused all semester long, then one day it happened. No one was around and we were in the showers. He came and slapped my ass and laughed. I did the same. One thing led to another and I ended up stroking his penis for a few seconds. Oddly enough, it wasn’t awkward because, to him, I was taking it up another level. We both knew we weren’t going to have sex or anything. It was all about curiosity – something we used to our advantage. The months of horseplay ended becoming a subtle way for me to build tension and plant a seed of fantasy without him really knowing it.
5. All men like a BJ.
I was in college. I’d just come out of the closet to my friends and all I wanted to do was be out and proud. The thing about straight guys is that once they know you’re gay, they tend to wonder about how it works. This can always be used to your advantage because every man fantasizes about something, but even more so, all guys love to get a BJ – it doesn’t matter from whom.
We were at a party when some frat boys across the way starting eyeing my friends and me. They clearly knew we were gay. At first, I was concerned – were they homophobic, super Christian? Were we going to get our ass kicked? They did what normal douchebags do: up their masculinity and treat us like women. But after the drinks started happening and night came, the questions started filtering out – “How do you know who is the pitcher?” “Are you guys, like, f*cking all the time?”
I kept pulling the conversation (again, subtly) to the fact that a man gives the best BJ because we know exactly how a penis works. They pretended to be grossed out, but I knew that curiosity got the better of them not because they were bi-curious, but because they were men. Later that night, I found myself showing a straight dude the ropes in the bathroom – he didn’t get fully hard (I’d say about 60%), but at least he can mark one thing off his bucket list.
A straight guy is not going to be assertive with you, ever. If he is, he’s definitely not straight to begin with. The main principle of seduction is planting a seed. In a case where you’re trying to get the attention of a heterosexual man, you need to be the assertive one. Not him. It’s all about stimulating his fantasies without blatantly saying it.
Think of it as showing, not saying. You can say you’re athletic, or adventurous, or funny, or spontaneous all you want; but it’s the showing that really proves your labels to be true, right? It’s the same idea. Don’t straight out tell him you’re interested or intrigued by his biceps, show it – let him catch you taking a sneak peek: “Damn I need to get your workout program.” Lift your shirt and wipe off some sweat from your upper lip so he can see your abs. Take out the chapstick and give yourself another layer so he can see how soft your lips are – it’s all in the show.
3. You need to speak the same body language.
Now I’m not the most masculine dude out there, that’s obvious. I hate to say it, but straight guys are often not going to flirt with a gay guy who reminds him of his ex-girlfriend. The fantasies don’t lie in that realm – they lie with guys who act like his bros. This is where the language should come to play.
Stand straight with an aligned spine, both feet shoulder length apart, play it cool, don’t get too high in your vocal pitch. All in all, be ambiguous. This has nothing to do with masculine vs. feminine (I’ve known many feminine straight boys). It has to do with being mysterious, a blank slate. This kind of air about you will keep him wondering, which will eventually send him wandering.
4. Horseplay is straight man’s form of flirting.
This lesson happened in high school. I ran cross-country and shared a locker with one of the hottest guys in town: jockish, blonde, legs and thighs for days. He loved to be goofy, as did I. We got a long fine. I knew he was straight – even then I was extremely empathic, which helped my gaydar like you wouldn’t believe.
We slapped each other with towels, we shoved each other in lockers, and we spanked each other as a “joke” after we finished our meets. I realized that straight guys are constantly “flirting” with each other all the time right under their girlfriend’s nose. When a man is secretly interested or fantasizing about another dude, he has the freedom to touch and grope as much as wants – so long as it’s considered “horseplay.”
I used this to my advantage, honey. We roughhoused all semester long, then one day it happened. No one was around and we were in the showers. He came and slapped my ass and laughed. I did the same. One thing led to another and I ended up stroking his penis for a few seconds. Oddly enough, it wasn’t awkward because, to him, I was taking it up another level. We both knew we weren’t going to have sex or anything. It was all about curiosity – something we used to our advantage. The months of horseplay ended becoming a subtle way for me to build tension and plant a seed of fantasy without him really knowing it.
5. All men like a BJ.
I was in college. I’d just come out of the closet to my friends and all I wanted to do was be out and proud. The thing about straight guys is that once they know you’re gay, they tend to wonder about how it works. This can always be used to your advantage because every man fantasizes about something, but even more so, all guys love to get a BJ – it doesn’t matter from whom.
We were at a party when some frat boys across the way starting eyeing my friends and me. They clearly knew we were gay. At first, I was concerned – were they homophobic, super Christian? Were we going to get our ass kicked? They did what normal douchebags do: up their masculinity and treat us like women. But after the drinks started happening and night came, the questions started filtering out – “How do you know who is the pitcher?” “Are you guys, like, f*cking all the time?”
I kept pulling the conversation (again, subtly) to the fact that a man gives the best BJ because we know exactly how a penis works. They pretended to be grossed out, but I knew that curiosity got the better of them not because they were bi-curious, but because they were men. Later that night, I found myself showing a straight dude the ropes in the bathroom – he didn’t get fully hard (I’d say about 60%), but at least he can mark one thing off his bucket list.
6. Your face cannot read: “I want s.e.x.”
How many times has a creepy gay or bi man flirted with you and the second he utters his first word, you know he’s making a sexual advance. It’s such a turn off, right? Then why would you assume being sexually forward is the way to go? Trust me, it’s not.
A straight guy should never, ever, under any circumstances, know that he’s being seduced – that’s the art of all seduction, whether you’re gay or straight. The second he feels like you’re trying to get in his pants, he’s going to be extremely turned off and freak out, leading him to believe that all gay guys want to get in his pants – please, we don’t need any more of that stigma attached to us.
It has to come from a very friendly place. Genuinely smile, happily approach him with enthusiasm (not lust), keep a poker face that reads, “I just want to get to know you, bro.” It’s not going to happen in an instant. You need to let it build. But you’re never going to be welcome if the first glance you send to him is an “I want to f*ck you” stare.
7. Edge his comfort zone without being aggressive.
I was in the grocery store last week doing my regular shopping ritual when around the corner turned the most gorgeous dude I’d ever seen – picture Ryan Gossling meets Jake Gyllenhaal. He was with his girlfriend, but that didn’t matter – guys always enjoy a little flattery.
I found him again in the produce aisle where he told his girlfriend to fetch some carrots, which were on the other side of the section. I found my opportunity. I was at a good distance (about twenty-five feet) when our eyes met. I kept contact and smiled for about three seconds longer than a normal stranger would. I saw him fidget for a second, then relax into his body, then smile back – his lips shivering in an adorable fluster.
Nothing wrong or aggressive happened. A man saw another man, and smiled. That’s it. About ten minutes later, I saw them both at checkout. When I grabbed my bag to turn and leave, I looked at him again. This time he was already staring at me – I smiled and he smiled back. He knew I was flirting with him, and, most importantly, he didn’t care. In fact, he was flattered. But a seed was planted. I edged his comfort zone a tad without being too forward or pushy (a mistake most gay guys make). The girlfriend had no idea and no harm was done, but I managed to succeed in mastering the first step of subtle seduction.
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