I’m shocked to find the number of silencers in the gay community-those who enjoy sex just as much as I do yet pretend they don’t. In fact they can go so far as to shaming their closest friends just to feel superior and stronger than them. It’s as if denying our biological urgencies grants us some divine right to be cocky.

I love sex, honey. Love it. And not just because I’m a man, but because I actually enjoy the stimulation, the build, the tension and the climax sex brings me. I used to think I had a sex addiction but the truth of the matter was sex never intervened with my life. It just made it better.

The worst thing any person can feel is shame, especially from friends and family. I can’t think of anything worse. Sadly there are hypocrites out there who enjoy slut-shamming and sex-shamming the like, but behind closed doors they’re doing the same damn thing.

Since when has gay sex in particularly become a hush-hush issue? We don’t see this in the straight community. They’re talking about sex all the time (Lord knows if they actually do it).

It’s different for gay guys I’ve found. We actually walk the walk with little talk involved. We don’t need to discuss sex with our friends all the time because chances are we’re not as deprived as our straight counterparts (who need constant affirmation). Gay sex is also embedded in our culture so much that there’s virtually no need to discuss it—just go down to your local gay bar and there will probably be posters of gay sex pasted around the joint.

I used to feel pressure to hide my appetite for sex. 20 odd years of suppression and living in homophobic cities taught me that gay sex is something to be ashamed of—God will find out. The ghosts of my past appeared every time I thought of sex, convincing me that it was wrong or gross or trashy.

You’re halfway through your performance with a totally hot guy you just met, when without warning your little Mister calls time. Yes, you’ve spaffed your load without warning. The little swimmers are taking a curtain call as you mutter “I’m so sorry, i.. i...” (I mean, what do you say as he’s riving in agony with man juice in his eye..... ‘It Burrrrrnnnns’)

Here are our top tips to making sure you last longer in the sack.

A round-up of some of Europe's (and the world's) best gay destinations for holidays and other adventures

Sorry for the radio silence here, but after having returned home to the USA for the holidays, I’ve had a lot of time to think and to reflect — mostly about the past year and a bit about the future. And in making some of my plans for 2015, I’ve thought a lot about the past year. Namely the fact that it’s probably been my gayest year ever. Is that even a thing? Who knows. I don’t care. But I feel like this was an important year for gay rights, and also for my own interest in gay travel.

Gay travel?

Yeah, that topic again. Travel is travel, yes. But this year I’ve also realized just how many of my own trips and experiences are almost certainly chosen because of my own sexual preference. Where I’ve traveled to isn’t necessarily anything to do with the fact that I’m gay, I guess, but these are the places that I’ve found that are actually great for other gay travelers like myself—either solo or for gay couples. I never thought I’d be the guy who ended up going to (and actually enjoying!) stereotypically gay destinations, but hey, here I am. Over the past year, I’ve just realized that I like to travel to places where other gay travelers tend to migrate to. I’m all for venturing out to further places, but every now and then, I just need a gay holiday…

If you have ever been around a group of gay men or yourself are a gay/bi-sexual man you’ve probably read, heard, or uttered the phrase “Top or Bottom”. Over the past several decades gay sex and the language pertaining to it has become much more than what its language pertains to. The language of gay sex has in of itself become the fabric of the identity of many gay men. Sex for many gay men is not just sex; it’s a way of life and the language within gay sex, is today very much a part of the social norm of the community. As the LGBT community has been able to rise up against oppressive views and political stereotypes, they still today seem to lump their own population into identifying groups.

Need a little education on what a Top or Bottom is? Basically the Top is the man penetrating the booty the Bottom is the man receiving the beautiful penis. “Versatile” means he loves to do both. Lets not get into the variables within these words because thats another article. So Top and Bottom; if you think those words mean one man plays the role of the “man” and the other the “woman” in the relationship, you are so absolutely wrong! Gay men are “Men” and you’d be surprised by the type of men who are Tops and Bottoms.

Many gay men, society would consider to be effeminate men, are in fact Tops and that notion can be contradictory in application to Bottoms. 
Many men who walk, talk and act like the biggest bad-asses are in fact super-nelly-bottoms in the sack. Does that mean that one man is more masculine than the other? Nope, not at all! 
So the question “are you a top or bottom” can actually become a very sensitive subject for many men. Because they feel like the word “Bottom” allocates the de-masculinization of the “MAN”. 
In fact Bottoms are more tough, more in touch with who they are and go though a hell of a lot more work to have good sex! 
They are also the ones who run the most risk in contracting STDs. Bottoms are tough ass men! No pun intended.

With all that said man gay men wear the word “Top” or the word “Bottom” as a badge of honor. Bottoms and Tops are anything but two categories though it is a melting pot of gayness. Let’s be honest most of the time the Top or Bottom question is used with the intent to hook up for “right now”, “this weekend” or whenever, but I’ve found that many men ask this casually in conversation, in public, when no immediate intent to have sex is present.

I recently went on a date with a very sweet handsome man. He stated to me on our drive through the Malibu Hills, that in the gay community of Los Angeles the words Top and Bottom are used in conversation far more than in any other city in America. He also told to me, that in earlier years, conversations gay men had with one another had far less to do with the fact if they were a Top or a Bottom. I asked him, “do you think gay men in Los Angeles are really identified by those words?” His response, “I absolutely believe so!” I asked, “is that a bad thing?” He said, “not all the time but it can be.” And I agree with him. I’ll be honest many gay men will ask you if you are a “Top or a Bottom” before even asking your name. That question has allowed this quick process of being able cut to the chase of sexual roles and the answer to the question can open the door to more conversation or can completely end it.

In my first foray into the world of Folsom Street East (the largest fetish block party on the East Coast) I didn't know what to expect. A friend of mine had asked me to go with him. Upon our arrival, one of the first tents we encountered was of the Visual AIDS -- an organization that utilizes art to provoke dialogue and supports HIV+ artists. A (very) handsome semi-naked man greeted us cheerfully and invited us to support the cause; "Do you want to take a polaroid for Benjamin's project?" I was in for the thrill of the ride and had promised myself I would let whatever happened, happen. We signed a waiver (which we didn't read) and as we headed down the cue my friend started stripping down. Was there a memo I never got? We were in the middle of the street in broad daylight.

Being naked in public was basically my worst fear, coming to life. "well, if you can go surfing, you can get naked in front of hundreds of people, it'll be a nice test!" -- I figured. I took my clothes off, leaving on only the skimpy jockstraps I was wearing. Onlookers immediately complimented me for keeping it classic and not branching out with one of those more recent colorful designs. "wow, the real sports jock, that's hot!" Parents and their young children walked by as I laid my clothes down on the foldable table; it was all vonnegutesque.

FIVE WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

How important is it to look after your mental health? Very, actually. All too often gay men spend far more time working on our abs than our mental health.

The way you value yourself, what you think about yourself and how happy you are as a person have a knock-on effect on all aspects of your life.

As gay men, we are more likely to drink more alcohol, smoke more, do more drugs (and for longer) than straight people. We are also more likely to suffer from poor self-esteem and depression, and five times more likely to think about suicide or even try it. 

It’s impossible for us to give you the magic answer into how to stop feeling depressed or how to prevent it but we do know some tips that you can bring into your every day life that can help improve your mental health and self-esteem. 

“I felt I was worth nothing. I hated myself, I hated being gay and suicide seemed like it was the best option.”

The gay community has made many giant strides forward in recent years, but in certain areas we continue to stumble and make little progress. In terms of our mental health and well-being, survey after survey tells us that we, as LGBT people, are much more likely to suffer from issues like depression, self-harm and suicidal tendencies than our straight peers. It nevertheless appears to be a stagnant situation, devoid of any significant breakthroughs.

Perhaps this is unsurprising, because mental health in the population overall remains shrouded in taboo. Those with mental health challenges are often failed by health services, not receiving the same understanding and empathy as someone with a physical health challenge. Gay men and women can similarly feel that health services fail their needs – so for a gay person with mental health challenges, the situation can be amplified.

FS surveyed over 600 gay men who all admit to having experienced mental health issues. Ranging from 17 to over 65, their different lives and experiences have common threads which echo throughout, which only serves to show that this issue still isn’t being duly addressed. Yet it’s a situation that all too often leads to a tragic outcome. 

Of the gay men who filled in our survey:

- 24% said they’ve tried to kill themselves, 

- 54% have contemplated suicide. 

These results may or may not be a reflection of the general gay population but they do put focus on the challenges gay men go through. Surely it’s time to face up to this crisis in mental health? 

TOXIC CYCLE

Of the 606 gay men who told FS of their mental health challenges, some described universal problems like struggling to find employment, money worries, stress, loneliness, or personal traumas like the loss of a loved one or the end of a relationship. 

Others identified factors that are more rooted in their sexuality: sharing memories of feeling isolated or being bullied at school or work for being gay, the fear of coming out to family and friends, or the overwhelming guilt or shame they felt after enjoying intimacy with someone of the same sex. 

In most cases it’s usually not one solitary thing but a toxic cycle of factors that lead to mental health issues.

“I think my depressive episodes are often triggered by failings in my relationships, which in turn are often caused by my extremely low self-esteem,” says Tom, 22 from Birmingham. “From that point it becomes a vicious circle of my depression lowering my self-esteem, making me more depressed, and so on. It caused me to lose most of my appetite which, combined with my very low self-esteem and poor body image, led me to develop anorexia.”

“Everything is connected,” agrees Nathan, 24 from Oxford. “I have very bad days when I don’t feel comfortable doing anything at all, including getting out of bed. All my money seems to be spent paying off debt. I don’t have any money to buy food or clothes or anything for myself, and when I feel low it impacts on my self-esteem which in turn impacts on my sex life with my partner.”

“I’ve recovered from a handful of episodes so far,” Tom adds, “but it seems to come back so quickly and so frequently that I’m not sure I’ll ever fully escape this black cloud hanging over me.” 

The most nervous event in a gay man’s single life is the first date with a new suitor.  Though the choices of locations and how to dress may seem like easy tasks, how to conduct oneself, while being yourself, seems to be the part of the spectacle that we overthink about.

Does anyone really know what are the safest and most common questions to ask on the first date that do not sound redundant and uninteresting?  While someone comes up with that list, I decided to tackle this on another angle.  Among the questions you ask, there have to be defining questions that determine whether that suitor is worthy of a second date or much longer.

Sex is all about the tease, honey, and gay porn stars know how to do just that. It doesn’t matter which way, great sex is always a result of incredible tension unleashed. If you want the power of a porn star, you need to find that hidden gem we call fantasy.

I love unleashing my inner porn star with my man–he does too. It’s not as hard as you think. All you need to do is trust in the appeal you as a man already possess. We all offer something special, it’s just a matter of finding what it is:

I can’t believe that Marriage Equality is now a reality across the country. I’m so grateful I’m seeing it happen in my lifetime. I couldn’t stop smiling the morning after the rulings, but then I stopped to think: How many of my friends are going to rush to the courthouses now that they can?

Marriage is still a pretty big deal once you get all the paperwork done and everything. I asked my newlywed friends who I’m ecstatic to call “husband and husband” why they made the leap:

“We love each other and we know we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together,” he said. “But we’ve been together for seven years. We have to protect each other and our future children. Not every couple should rush to get married now that it’s legal everywhere. Marriage is still a big deal and it ought to be taken seriously.”

Gay guys have their own relationship with sex, especially when we’re young and single. Nowadays it’s like online shopping: you swipe, you type, and we’re here – straight from the iPhone to your front door.

People have asked me how gay guys can keep the friendship intact after sleeping with their buddy. I used to think it was a stereotype, but then I thought about my own experiences. I have plenty of close friends where, after reminiscing, all the memories came back: “Oh yeah. We did hookup at that one party a few years ago, didn’t we… ”

I’ve thought long and hard about why gay guys find it easier to remain friends after hooking up, and I’ve come up with ten solid points:

1. There aren’t romantic feelings to begin with.

When you enter with no romantic feelings, you’re probably going to end with the same outcome. Even if there’s a smidgen of a spark beforehand, it’ll most likely blossom into something bigger after hooking up – sex can do that. The friends I’ve hooked up with were mostly spontaneous and oftenfueled by physical attractiveness rather than personal interest.

2. We were already friends before, so we knew each other too well.

It’s the “Oh my gosh, never! He’s like a brother to me” kind of thing. At the time we hooked up, we knew each other pretty well. We might not have been as close as we are now, but we were still friendly and hung out all the time, which means friendliness was already a part of our foundation. After having sex, we went back into habit and acted how we always did because the friendship already existed.

3. I reserved “making love” for someone a little more special.

This is an issue many gay guys have. When you have sex as if you’re in love, you confuse your brain. You unconsciously train yourself to become attached to this person. For your own protection you need to save making love for a man you truly want to be with – not a spontaneous hookup with a friend. When you cross the line, not only will you confuse the friend but you’ll confuse yourself as well.

4. Lust often prohibits emotions from entering.

Men are hunters and we want what we want when we need it. Sometimes the urge to have sex becomes so overwhelming that emotions are the last thing we think about. Add a bit of liquor and laughs to the mix, and who knows what will happen. Lust is powerful because it bends our logic – it makes us do crazy things that might be out of character for us.

The city of Naples is as mysterious as it is exciting and energetic, but you’re unlikely to uncover its secrets on your first trip. If you want to discover some of the more unusual aspects of the city, you can visit places that reveal an obsession with fear and superstition, as well as love and incredible generosity. On your next trip to Naples, check out some of these secrets of the city.

Blood Pact

The patron saint of Naples is San Gennaro, a bishop of Benevento in the Campania region who was beheaded in 305 A.D. City historians claim that some of the blood from his decapitated head was collected and taken to the catacombs of San Gennaro and, some 100 years later, the blood became liquid again. This “miracle” now takes place at the city’s duomo (cathedral) before thousands of devotees who fervently believe that, if the blood does not liquefy, Naples will perish. This ceremony takes place on the first Sunday in May, on the feast day of San Gennaro on September 19 and on December16.

My idea of beauty can be described as vague. I know what the world tells me to believe is beautiful but lately I’ve started to distance myself from the idea altogether. Who is right: them or me?

Gay men see beauty in a different way than women do. Growing up as boys in a male-dominated world makes it easier to judge girls rather than ourselves, that is, until we become a men. Then the focus is on us.

Women are objectified as early as fourteen by males (gay and straight alike). As a child I worried about being tough and dominant, but the girls around me worried about being pretty and valuable—something I never really worried about until I was older.

The second I came out of the closet it was as if I teleported back in time as a fourteen-year-old girl—self-judging, naïve and desperate for value; value found in beauty. I turned objectification towards myself because it’s what I became accustomed to—not just as a gay man, but as a result of my society.

Why has our culture trained each other to objectify? Beauty is one of our biggest currencies and we use to buy and sell each other’s self-worth.

When I first started dating men, I couldn’t help but assume I wasn’t good enough yet. There’s always a “yet,” as if one day we will reach a stopping point to perfection: Here I am, yes, I’m finally perfect! We’re always striving for that moment but it never comes because there’s no such thing asperfection.

No man wants to be reminded that his body isn’t perfect—imperfect according to whom? The world? Gay porn? Movies? Standards expect to be shared, not ignored. It’s a subliminal mindf*ck we pass from person to person until we convince ourselves it’s true.

Why haven’t we seen big men on TV or film represented as an object of desire? If they are it’s usually written, directed and produced by the actor in question; and even then, he has the hottest actress in the world playing his wife (so realistic, right?). The truth of the matter is straight men can easily place themselves on top of the totem pole because no one has the audacity to question it.

As a power bottom, it never ceases to amaze me how many tops fail to please. When you aim to make us happy, we’ll return the favor times a million. Two men trying to please each other equally are in for a whole lot of pleasure and before you know it, the sweat is dripping down our faces and we’re up to round three of an already long night.
You might think you’re awesome at sex, but most of you tops are in desperate need of some tips. Bottoms don’t want to be treated like blow up dolls, at least for the most part. We have bodies too which means we feel pain. 

Just because we like to get penetrated does not mean we want to be turned inside out. But don’t worry. I’m here to let you know what most bottoms fail to tell you because unlike the others, I’ve taken mental notes honey. I ain’t afraid to use them. Here are a few things I’ve picked up. They’re simple, yet make all the difference:

For many gay men, anal sex can be a large root of anxiety. What is a top? What is a bottom? Does it hurt? With little representation in the media and in sex education, many gay men know little about anal sex. This lack of knowledge and the unfortunate societal taboo associated with anal sex can lead to unpleasant experiences that may affect the way you feel about sex forever. However, by knowing more about anal sex, you can make an informed choice about it and reduce the anxiety that comes from a lack of knowledge. It can become an important and enjoyable part of your sex life if you have some background knowledge and are willing to give it a try. This article is designed to give you scientific knowledge as well as practical advice to help you have a pleasurable anal sex experience.

Understand the Basics Anal Anatomy


To have better anal sex, it is important to understand the anatomy of your anus. The anus is the external opening of the rectum, and is controlled by two rings of muscles known as the external and internal sphincters. Control of the external sphincter is generally voluntary while the internal sphincter in involuntary, meaning you are not able to control it. Difficulties can arise if the two sphincters are too tense, which makes it difficult (and sometimes painful) for a penis to enter. After passing through the two sphincters, the penis travels through the anal passage, then into the rectum. Both the anus and rectum have the ability to expand and stretch, and can generally accommodate penises of any size.

The Pleasure of Anal Sex

Like the penis, the anus is full of sensitive nerve endings, which can make anal sexual activity very enjoyable for many men. During anal sex the prostate gland (a walnut-sized gland located between the bladder and the penis) can be stimulated, which many men find extremely pleasurable. The prostate gland is oftentimes referred to as the male G-spot, and is believed to enhance orgasm when stimulated.
Along with the physical stimulation you experience during anal sex, the psychological stimulation can be just as important in order to have a pleasurable experience. Having anal sex with someone you are attracted to can be intimate and romantic, or perhaps hot, heavy, and erotic. Whichever the case, the psychological stimulation during anal sex is an important aspect in the overall sexual experience.

Become Comfortable With Your Anus

To have pleasurable anal sex, it is important for you to first become comfortable with your own anus. The majority of men experiment with the stimulation of their penis from an early age, but that is not often the case with the anus.
Start by lying on your back, on a bed, or even in a warm bath. Once you are comfortable, start by gently massaging the area around your anus, including the perineum. As you become more relaxed, add lubrication to your finger, and gently press against the surface of your anus. Repeat this several times, and increase the pressure slightly each time. When you become comfortable enough to insert your finger into your anus, keep things slow and gentle, taking time to relax your external sphincter. Once inside, you may be able to find your prostate. You will recognize it as a small, walnut-sized bump locates approximately two inches inside your anus.

Once feeling comfortable with the insertion of your finger, you can experiment with different sex toys such as dildos or anal beads. It is important to remember to take your time until you are comfortable and enjoy the sensations you feel. Becoming comfortable with your anus is a personal and ongoing process. Use plenty of lube and take it slow, there is no rush!

Gabbana reveals he has pondered becoming a father and/or adopting a child while Dolce says certain choices other gay men and women have made for themselves are not open to him because of his Catholic beliefs

It’s five months late but Domenico Dolce has finally apologized for negative comments he and partner Stefano Gabbana made about same-sex parents and calling babies conceived via in vitro fertilization and artificial insemination ‘synthetic’.

The Italian designers, who make up luxury fashion brand Dolce & Gabbana, are gay and were once a couple.
Dolce was quoted as saying in a Vogue magazine article published on Friday, ‘I am so sorry. It was not my intention to offend anyone.’

No. 1 San Francisco
The first iconic rainbow flag was raised here in 1978, and the Castro District has remained, for many, the epicenter of American gay culture.

You can learn more about the movement at the GLBT History Museum, or have some history with your happy hourat the Twin Peaks Tavern, the first “out” gay bar. 

Or, just enjoy the fabulous weekly brunch-and-show, “Sunday’s a Drag,” at the Sir Francis Drake Hotel.

No surprise, the city also ranked near the top for its fabulous sense of style.

Oh the hours - the afternoons! The days! The weekends! I have spent looking for and having sex. And oh the incomparable joy it's brought me!
But you're not really that shocked, are you? Of course you're not. After all, gay men have always had a bit of a reputation when it comes to sex. And why not? Unbridled by the restraints of "traditional" relationships and (until very recently) solely straight institutions like marriage and the nuclear family, we've long enjoyed the pursuit of sexual relations whenever, wherever, however and with whomever we could get our sweaty gay mitts on.

Even in the face of AIDS, which has ravaged our community and caused so many gay men - myself included - to tragically equate sex with death, we didn't stop looking for opportunities to get off, we just found ways to do it more safely.

No, pleasure has never been a dirty word for us, though many of our straight counterparts (who are, let's admit, equally interested in the same wondrous carnal arts but, thanks to our society's sturdy puritan mores, remain unable or forbidden to indulge in them or at the very least admit they secretly do indulge in them) may wish it otherwise.

And in some ways, I'm actually fine with that. As much as I want straights to join us in ushering in a brave new age of sexual liberation, I understand that change takes time and that thanks to a whole bunch of heady terms (think: religion, sexism, patriarchy) it's not as easy for them to partake in sex the way that gay men historically have.
But you know what I can't understand, and furthermore, won't stand for? Other gays playing sex police -- and it's starting to happen more and more.

Example A: A New York Times article entitled "Chelsea's Risque Businesses" from earlier this year, which highlights a number of gay parents living in what is perhaps one of the most famously gay neighborhoods in the world and who are now lamenting the fact that their children have to grow up just feet away from sex shops.

Some in the article worry about the storefronts' mannequins with their "bulging crotches," condoms strewn across the neighborhood's sidewalks and the daunting task of having to explain ads for a lubricant called "Boy Butter" to their kids. But here's a radical idea: How about instead of demonizing sex and the people who are looking for it and having it, we demonize our society that labels the sight of a bulging crotch (plastic or otherwise) as indecent and embarrassing and threatening. And, if you'll permit me just one more humble suggestion, how about we tell our kids exactly what Boy Butter is and why it exists and stop acting like it's something to be ashamed of? (I'll save my full rant about sex education for another time.)

Now that we can get married and queer people having children is becoming more and more accepted, it seems we've forgotten that sexual liberation has always been, in my mind at least, a cornerstone of queer liberation. And it seems some queers think we've just been having all of this sex and pushing back against all of these sexual boundaries for all of these years as just another way to pass the time until we could become just like straight people. Like, "Hmm. We can't get married yet. What should we do in the meantime? Needlepoint? Nah. Competitive baking? No. Oh, I've got it! Let's get off!"

For the second year running, we’ve looked at thousands of reservations made via Travel Gay Asia to compile our 2015 ‘Top 100′ most-booked hotels, resorts & guesthouses.

Our ‘Top 100′ include many that are dedicated to serving the gay market.

A Patient's Guide to Degenerative Disc Disease

Introduction
Many of the problems in the spine are caused because of the process of degeneration of the intervertebral disc. Everything you do during the day - once you stand upright - begins to test the spine's ability to support your body weight.
Over time, these repeated daily stresses and minor injuries can add up and begin to affect the discs in your spine. Minor injuries to the disc may occur and not cause pain at the time of the injury.
However, as they add up, the disc eventually begins to suffer from the wear and tear - it begins to degenerate.
The purpose of this information is to help you understand:

• The anatomy of the spine relating to degenerative disc disease
• The causes and symptoms of lumbar degenerative disc disease
• How the condition is diagnosed
• The treatments available for treatment of the condition

Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg presided over a renewal of wedding vows by the US ambassador to Vietnam and his husband last weekend. 

Ginsburg was on a trip to Vietnam sponsored by a program of the US State Department and met with Vietnamese Prime Minister Nguyen Tan Dung and Chief Justice of the Supreme People’s Court Truong Hoa Binh, among others. 

“I basically hated myself,” he says, pushing his glasses with his index finger to the top of his nose. “So, for me to write was a way to feel a sense of community with other people and to feel less alone.”

When Ryan O’Connell’s blogs on Thought Catalog first blew up, it was because he obsessed — like a lot of us — about finding a way to live a life that feels good. Sitting on the patio of the Palihouse Hotel in West Hollywood on a recent May afternoon, O’Connell says, the truth is that, at the time he was “miserable” and “full of self-sabotage.”

The Internet gave Ryan an outlet for his anxieties about being 24, being gay, figuring out how to be an adult, and trying to find love while feeling unlovable. As a blogger, he brought massive traffic to Thought Catalog, and developed a cult following online, but seeking validation from strangers was, at some level, driving everything.

1. SAN FRANCISCO

Make a pilgrimage to liberal San Francisco. This gay travel mecca is home to an unprecedented number of gay bars, events, neighborhoods, and hotels. Come enjoy all this hospitable city has to offer!

Where to Stay

The Castro is central to gay life in San Francisco. SoMa (South of Market) is up-and-coming.

But really, the entire city welcomes everyone with open arms.

Things to Do

• Indulge in dim sum—and lots of window shopping—in exotic Chinatown.
• Trek to Coit Tower for glorious vistas.
• Ogle modern art at the SFMOMA. (Crowds are smaller in the morning.)
• Sneak away for an afternoon of wine tasting in nearby Napa Valley.
• Board a ferry for Alcatraz. The immersive audio tour through the intimidating prison is a family favorite.
• Shop Union Square. Every label imaginable has an outpost in this urban center.

No one, except perhaps a proctologist, likes to talk about hemorrhoids. There is also very little information on hemorrhoids in the mainstream press, leading one to believe that it is a rare condition. Yet, hemorrhoids affect a surprisingly large number of people; based on a 1991study on hemorrhoids and other bowel disorders by Sidney Wanderman, M.D. and Betty Rothbart, it's estimated that about 100 million Americans suffer from them.

Many men choose to suffer in silence, undoubtedly due to embarrassment and an unwillingness to seek help. For these affected men, bowel movements and sitting on hard surfaces, among other things, are rendered dreadfully painful experiences.
But rest assured, there is something you can do to prevent and cure hemorrhoids.

If you feel very attracted to members of the same sex, or both sexes, but need to feel like you have accepted it within yourself, here is a guide to help you.
You have found out your sexual orientation, and you are perfectly normal. Accepting who you are - and being proud of who you are - is the next step on the road to coming out of the closet, and eventually to having a successful gay or lesbian relationship.

Some people have difficulty in accepting their sexual orientation, either because of personal or societal discomfort or pressure.
Most people in the LGBT+ community know from experience that accepting your sexuality will lead to your becoming a happier, more open person.

In this guide, the term gay has been used to include all forms of homosexuality and bisexuality, whether that be people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual or pansexual, or others included in the LGBT+ Queer Community.


A. Method 1 of 3: Finding Yourself

1. Know if you are gay. 

Sometimes people question their sexuality. There are many degrees of sexual and gender orientation and identity, and if you find you don't fit easily into one category, don't pick one! Don't allow yourself to be labeled until, or unless, you are ready and willing to be.

If you feel that you don't fit, or you can't understand why you aren't like other people in your life because you are different, remember that you are you, and not anyone else; and that being yourself and accepting yourself for the person that you are is something to be immensely proud of.

2. Remember that you didn't choose to be attracted to members of the same sex. 

Attempts to change your orientation are usually painful and pointless in the end. When talking with heterosexual friends or family members, it's sometimes tough to help them understand this, because they have no frame of reference for your experience. Try to encourage others to see your sexual orientation in the same way as they see your eye colour - it is something you were born with and did not choose. It is something that is simply a part of your being, and not something you can change. Or want to or should!

There isn't any need to change yourself -- being gay is just another way of simply existing, and there is nothing wrong with it at all. Neither is there anything wrong with you for being gay.
Some people in the world believe that sexual orientation is a choice. If you feel that you indeed made a choice, you should feel comfortable with that choice. Everyone has their own battles and choices to make, and the norms of societies may not necessarily be normal for you.

By Donalevan Maines

“Just another op’nin’ of another show,” from Cole Porter’s classic Kiss Me, Kate, probably doesn’t begin to describe Alex Stutler’s joy over stepping onstage this month at the brand-spankin’ new Queensbury Theatre (formerly Country Playhouse) to play the title role in “the impossible dream” musical, Man of La Mancha.

The production itself has been a long time coming: most recently, its opening was delayed a week from July 24, which is the day Stutler married his longtime partner, John Aaron Villarreal. “Lord, what were we thinking?” says the blushing groom about planning a wedding on the same day as his Man of La Mancha opening.