Breakups are never easy to handle. But at the end of the day, if you look at your past relationships in hindsight, there were probably huge red flags you should have noticed.
At the time, however, you were too wrapped up in trying to protect the relationship and ignored the flags. But, losing the spark is something none of us can afford to overlook, and the red flags are the same no matter how long the relationship lasted. Here are nine red flags to look for:
1. He Craves Attention From Other Men.
We all have friends who are attention whores, but when you are out with your boyfriend and all he wants is attention from other gay men rather than you, it is time to address the issue. I’ve dated comedians, actors and other creative people who are known for their insatiable appetite for attention, but for the most part, they do not need it to have fun.
When a boyfriend needs attention, he is probably trying to be emotionally stimulated - something he no longer feels with you. Take it as a sign and stop wasting your time.
2. When He Refuses To Talk About What’s Bothering Him.
You can ask him over and over again, but no matter what you do it seems like whatever is on his mind is of no concern to you. It is too big, too overpowering, to show the slightest hint of vulnerability on his end.
You used to be able to tell each other everything - no secrets. However, lately it seems like there’s distance, and you know for a fact it is coming from him. Something is definitely on his mind.
3. When You Are Having Too Little Or Too Much Sex.
When a relationship is about the people involved, sex is actually of no importance. However, as testosterone-fueled beings, sex is a pretty big deal. We often use it to distract ourselves from real problems — it is a method of procrastination. So having too much sex can be a sign you would rather have sex than talk about whatever is missing from your relationship.
4. He Looks At Hot Guys In The Room More Often.
We all look at attractive guys. We cannot help it. However, after a while, it’s pretty clear the tone of glance he has is somewhat purposeful. Meaning, he wants you to see him look at other guys. Why? Because in his small-minded idiotic brain, he would rather you get the message from that than speak about his feelings.
5. He Avoids Long Eye Contact With You.
You used to be able to stare into each other’s eyes for what seemed like hours. Now, it reveals an uncomfortable truth both of you want to avoid. There’s an absence of compassion and love from a vessel where there was once plenty. You are able to recognize it because you remember what was. Either figure out what’s missing or take it as a hint.
6. He Starts Listening To His Friends More Often Than You.
We all listen to our best friends, but there comes a time when a person starts “listening” to other people to prove some point. Even if he knows his friends are wrong, listening to them becomes a way to show you how he does not trust you anymore. At first, it seems like he is being mindful, but later you realize it is because he is starting to find your opinion less relevant.
7. He Starts Touching You Less And Less.
When you were out in public, he used to put his arm around you because he was proud. It made you feel warm, wanted, and loved. However, lately the touching has stopped, and you did not realize it until recently. Touching is important. It reaffirms his affection and makes us feel validated - when that ends, we ought to pay attention.
8. When He Makes You Feel Worthless Over Something Small.
It could be something as small as leaving a bag of chips on the counter. To him, it is not only the end of the world, but he sees it as an opportunity to rip you to shreds. He’ll pick apart everything you’ve done because of a simple bag on the counter. Clearly, he has been building tension for a while now and saw this as a time to unleash it. Don’t ever ignore this type of behavior.
9. The Things You Once Thought Were Cute Now Annoy The Living SH*T Out Of You.
His laugh, the way he carries himself, the way he folds his shirts in the morning, the way he smiles at the dog were all adorable at some point.
However, the funny thing is, you do not know why. This is your gut trying to tell you something is not right. A spark is missing, and it is time to investigate.
At the time, however, you were too wrapped up in trying to protect the relationship and ignored the flags. But, losing the spark is something none of us can afford to overlook, and the red flags are the same no matter how long the relationship lasted. Here are nine red flags to look for:
1. He Craves Attention From Other Men.
We all have friends who are attention whores, but when you are out with your boyfriend and all he wants is attention from other gay men rather than you, it is time to address the issue. I’ve dated comedians, actors and other creative people who are known for their insatiable appetite for attention, but for the most part, they do not need it to have fun.
When a boyfriend needs attention, he is probably trying to be emotionally stimulated - something he no longer feels with you. Take it as a sign and stop wasting your time.
2. When He Refuses To Talk About What’s Bothering Him.
You can ask him over and over again, but no matter what you do it seems like whatever is on his mind is of no concern to you. It is too big, too overpowering, to show the slightest hint of vulnerability on his end.
You used to be able to tell each other everything - no secrets. However, lately it seems like there’s distance, and you know for a fact it is coming from him. Something is definitely on his mind.
3. When You Are Having Too Little Or Too Much Sex.
When a relationship is about the people involved, sex is actually of no importance. However, as testosterone-fueled beings, sex is a pretty big deal. We often use it to distract ourselves from real problems — it is a method of procrastination. So having too much sex can be a sign you would rather have sex than talk about whatever is missing from your relationship.
4. He Looks At Hot Guys In The Room More Often.
We all look at attractive guys. We cannot help it. However, after a while, it’s pretty clear the tone of glance he has is somewhat purposeful. Meaning, he wants you to see him look at other guys. Why? Because in his small-minded idiotic brain, he would rather you get the message from that than speak about his feelings.
5. He Avoids Long Eye Contact With You.
You used to be able to stare into each other’s eyes for what seemed like hours. Now, it reveals an uncomfortable truth both of you want to avoid. There’s an absence of compassion and love from a vessel where there was once plenty. You are able to recognize it because you remember what was. Either figure out what’s missing or take it as a hint.
6. He Starts Listening To His Friends More Often Than You.
We all listen to our best friends, but there comes a time when a person starts “listening” to other people to prove some point. Even if he knows his friends are wrong, listening to them becomes a way to show you how he does not trust you anymore. At first, it seems like he is being mindful, but later you realize it is because he is starting to find your opinion less relevant.
7. He Starts Touching You Less And Less.
When you were out in public, he used to put his arm around you because he was proud. It made you feel warm, wanted, and loved. However, lately the touching has stopped, and you did not realize it until recently. Touching is important. It reaffirms his affection and makes us feel validated - when that ends, we ought to pay attention.
8. When He Makes You Feel Worthless Over Something Small.
It could be something as small as leaving a bag of chips on the counter. To him, it is not only the end of the world, but he sees it as an opportunity to rip you to shreds. He’ll pick apart everything you’ve done because of a simple bag on the counter. Clearly, he has been building tension for a while now and saw this as a time to unleash it. Don’t ever ignore this type of behavior.
9. The Things You Once Thought Were Cute Now Annoy The Living SH*T Out Of You.
His laugh, the way he carries himself, the way he folds his shirts in the morning, the way he smiles at the dog were all adorable at some point.
However, the funny thing is, you do not know why. This is your gut trying to tell you something is not right. A spark is missing, and it is time to investigate.
0 Comments