You are gay and you have a boyfriend. You've been dating for a few months. He's met your friends. Maybe some coworkers. And it's getting to the point where it might just be time to bring him home to meet the parents.
But you're nervous. It just doesn't feel right. Why? Here are some signs that maybe you shouldn't bring him home to meet the parents.
You definitely have to listen to your significant other, especially when they're being honest about what makes them uncomfortable. You may be ready to show him off to mom and pop, but if he doesn't feel comfortable just yet, you need to respect that.
Certainly talk about what's making him uncomfortable, but understand that meeting the parents can be a lot of pressure, and you don't want to rush it.
2. Your parents don't know you're gay.
We all have to come out on our own terms, but putting your significant other into an emotionally charged situation like that just isn't fair. Talk to your parents when you're ready, but don't use your other half as a coming out tool. Not cool.
3. You haven't met any of his friends/family yet.
Introducing someone you're dating to friends and family is a process, and you can go at your own pace but it should be mutual. If you're thinking about introducing him to your parents (which could be seen as a big deal), but you haven't even met a single one of his friends, pump the brakes and ask why that may be. No one likes a one-sided relationship.
5. Your parents told you they're not ready.
This one can be touchy. But not everyone is lucky enough to have 100% open and accepting parents. Sometimes parents need time - and if they're at least communicating their feelings to you, you're better off then if they weren't talking to you at all. If they're not ready to meet your special someone, give them time. But don't let them make you feel ashamed or bad about being happy, not for one second.
6. You want to annoy your parents.
We've all done it. Dated someone we know our parents would hate, often times doing it to irk them intentionally. It might be more of a high school move, but some of us have a hard time leaving high school antics behind. If you know your parents wouldn't approve (they hate smokers, he smokes; they hate Republicans, he's Republican; etc.) consider why you want them to meet him. Is it truly because you care about this person and they just need to deal with any of their reservations? Or are you just trying to get a rise out of them? If it's the latter, you might want to consider why you're dating this person in the first place.
Are you boyfriends? Friends with benefits? Partners? Monogamous? Open? Whatever the case may be, make sure you're both on the same page before taking him home to mom and dad. Not that your parents need to know the ins and outs of your relationship, but you don't want to introduce him as your boyfriend if he's thinking you guys are something else. It's awkward for everyone.
But you're nervous. It just doesn't feel right. Why? Here are some signs that maybe you shouldn't bring him home to meet the parents.
1. He told you he's not ready.
You definitely have to listen to your significant other, especially when they're being honest about what makes them uncomfortable. You may be ready to show him off to mom and pop, but if he doesn't feel comfortable just yet, you need to respect that.
Certainly talk about what's making him uncomfortable, but understand that meeting the parents can be a lot of pressure, and you don't want to rush it.
2. Your parents don't know you're gay.
We all have to come out on our own terms, but putting your significant other into an emotionally charged situation like that just isn't fair. Talk to your parents when you're ready, but don't use your other half as a coming out tool. Not cool.
3. You haven't met any of his friends/family yet.
Introducing someone you're dating to friends and family is a process, and you can go at your own pace but it should be mutual. If you're thinking about introducing him to your parents (which could be seen as a big deal), but you haven't even met a single one of his friends, pump the brakes and ask why that may be. No one likes a one-sided relationship.
4. You think you may break up soon.
Parents (especially moms) can get attached to our significant others surprisingly fast. If you're not sure you want to continue dating, introducing him to the parents is definitely sending the wrong message. Not only are you giving him the impression that it's getting serious, you're also running the risk of a parent/ex-boyfriend friendship that may be hard to shake, even post-breakup.
Parents (especially moms) can get attached to our significant others surprisingly fast. If you're not sure you want to continue dating, introducing him to the parents is definitely sending the wrong message. Not only are you giving him the impression that it's getting serious, you're also running the risk of a parent/ex-boyfriend friendship that may be hard to shake, even post-breakup.
5. Your parents told you they're not ready.
This one can be touchy. But not everyone is lucky enough to have 100% open and accepting parents. Sometimes parents need time - and if they're at least communicating their feelings to you, you're better off then if they weren't talking to you at all. If they're not ready to meet your special someone, give them time. But don't let them make you feel ashamed or bad about being happy, not for one second.
6. You want to annoy your parents.
We've all done it. Dated someone we know our parents would hate, often times doing it to irk them intentionally. It might be more of a high school move, but some of us have a hard time leaving high school antics behind. If you know your parents wouldn't approve (they hate smokers, he smokes; they hate Republicans, he's Republican; etc.) consider why you want them to meet him. Is it truly because you care about this person and they just need to deal with any of their reservations? Or are you just trying to get a rise out of them? If it's the latter, you might want to consider why you're dating this person in the first place.
7. You don't know where your relationship stands.
Are you boyfriends? Friends with benefits? Partners? Monogamous? Open? Whatever the case may be, make sure you're both on the same page before taking him home to mom and dad. Not that your parents need to know the ins and outs of your relationship, but you don't want to introduce him as your boyfriend if he's thinking you guys are something else. It's awkward for everyone.
Good Luck!!!
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